Old Guy Goes To The Doctor
An 82 year-old man goes to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor sees him walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor sees him again and says, “You’re really doing great, aren’t you?”‘
Morris replies, “Just doing what you said, Doc: ‘Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.’”
The doctor says, “I didn’t say that. I said you’ve got a heart murmur – be careful.”
Elderly Man Thinks Fast
An elderly farmer in Florida had a large pond down by his fruit orchard. One evening he decided to go down to the pond and took a five gallon bucket to pick some fruit.
As he neared the pond, he heard female voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in the pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, ‘We’re not coming out until you leave!’
The old man thought for a second and said, ‘I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim or to make you get out of the pond naked.’
Holding the bucket up he said, ‘I’m here to feed the alligator!’
Moral: Old men can still think fast.