There are many types of blogs and posts.
Some posts on this blog are extremely short, very funny, filled with lots of photographs, filled with wonderful memories, painful and gut-wrenching memories, emotional contemplations expressing gratitude, tutorials on cooking or blogging, different and off the beaten path kind of art, interesting places on the planet, advice, poetry and many other topics.
Regardless of the subject matter, all the posts have one thing in common.
Did your eyes dart back up to the first paragraph to see if you could find the common thread? If so, you would have to read between the lines in order to find it. Actually, the answer should be quite easy to figure out.
Everything on this blog is either about me, someone or something I care about or of interest to me.
During the past two plus years, I have shared a whole bunch of me with people I know, people I’ve started to know and people I won’t ever know at all. The journey of blogging was really just meant for my daughter, Alyssa, but it has turned into much more.
My blog will always be a place that I can share my thoughts with Alyssa and I think about that purpose every time I create a post. Questions like, “Will it help her through a difficult situation?” or “By understanding this part of me, will it bring us closer?” or even, “When I am no longer living, will it bring Alyssa comfort?” This is really an important purpose of my blog.
Another aspect of my blog is that it has become a place for me to help other people. I’m sharing recipes, tips on blogging, sharing things that are humorous and sharing a part of myself that may help others just like I hope it will for Alyssa too. That makes me feel good inside.
Last, but not least, my blog has been a place that I can talk to myself. Whether in a journal, to a dog that listens to anything or to my small child that couldn’t yet speak, I had and continue to have conversations that help me make it through rough times or just not feel alone. My blog feels like my best friend and it is very comforting to relax with the gentle clicking of the keys as I type my thoughts, hopes and dreams.
This friend, my blog, is always willing to listen no matter when or where I feel the need to communicate. During the last year and a half, my blog saved me. When my mind and heart were misunderstood by almost everyone, knowing that I could lose myself in the words on my blog each day gave me an outlet. It also kept alive a small shred of hope that the current trauma nightmare would some day end.
Writing is therapeutic.
I have gone back to read some of my posts and due to the extreme nature of my PTSD, I do not remember writing them. As I read each word, it is as if it is the first time I am seeing them and yet, they resonate with my soul. That’s a crazy feeling to know I wrote the words, but have absolutely no memory of writing the post.
I do not know how I made it to today after all that I’ve been through during the last seventeen months. According to statistics, I should be either an alcoholic, drug addict, insane or dead. I now realize that most people will never fully understand the tragic nature of all the symptoms of my trauma or the emotional upheaval it caused in every aspect of my life. That really angered me until I realized that it no longer matters that they do not understand. The important thing is that I am alive and recovering from the worst experiences of my life.
Yes, I am alive.
That is such a powerful sentence. I am alive.
Even more than just being alive, I am actually thankful to be living.
I am not going to be just “alive” any longer. I am going to “live” every single minute. There just is not that much time for any of us. In order to accept death, our human nature gives us a false sense of comfort and causes us to believe that most people will live to be old. However, more often than we care to recognize, people die long before old age.
Life is far too short to squander. This traumatic experience has taught me valuable lessons that have changed the way I feel about everything.
I’m serious. I feel differently about ab-so-lute-ly ev-er-y-thing.
Let me give you a few tips on living a better life…
One – Write your thoughts somewhere now even if you have no struggles in your life. If it becomes a habit now, it may save you or someone you care about later when hard times hit. Writing your thoughts will help you know your inner self which is priceless information.
Two – Understand that our existence is not about possessions. It is entirely about unselfish love and relationships. If you aren’t going to be there for your parent, sibling, child or friend when they drop to the depths of Hell, you completely fail the whole purpose of life. In this day of computers, cell phones, mail, email, automobiles and airplanes, there is no excuse for not reaching out in some way. Your selfishness and lack of concern makes you an undesirable person to be around.
Three – Appreciate this minute. Right now is it. You can’t change yesterday. You can’t ensure that tomorrow is going to be easy. You can live right now and know that in this minute, you can feel, love and live.
The person I was is gone forever.
I climbed my Mount Everest. Although I suffered frost bite, lost a few pieces of me, had to struggle and almost didn’t survive, the person I have become is very much alive. I am living with a renewed hope and motivation for a happy existence.
I make no excuses or apologies for being human. I am not ashamed that I fell completely apart. Actually, I am proud that I survived and now know that I am stronger than I realized.
we can react in two ways–
either by losing hope and
falling into self-destructive habits,
or by using the challenge
to find our inner strength.”