Perfection is not a requirement. I thought I would just put it out there so that you can really get your mind around that fact.
I don’t know if you’ve noticed it, but there are a whole lot of beautiful women and handsome men inhabiting this planet. On top of that, there are people who are abounding in knowledge and talent.
I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” Well, it is true and it is a good thing too.
I was talking to Joan on the phone the other day and we were looking at some things on Twitter together. There was a photo of a guy on one of the threads and she said, “Don’t you think he’s cute?”
“No,” I said.
Joan was so surprised I thought I had missed something, so I reopened the web page and looked at the guy again.
“Really Joan, I don’t think he is cute at all. He just looks like a regular guy,” I said more sure of my answer this time.
“Really?” she exclaimed in a half-hearted question that didn’t require an answer.
Joan thought the guy in the photo was just gorgeous and I thought he was regular. That is a good thing! We are all different which means we find beauty, enjoyment and satisfaction in a wide range of people and activities.
There are architects, photographers, politicians, seamstresses, cosmetologists, farmers, lawyers, dog groomers, blue eyes, brown eyes, green eyes, and black, brown, blonde, white, gray and red hair…and the list of our diversities simply goes on and on and on. Our differences is what keeps life interesting.
There is a huge bush in our neighborhood that has thousands of flowers on it when it blooms in the springtime. At first glance, all the flowers appear to be exactly the same. I’m sure if we put them under a microscope, each flower would be completely unique.
The fragrance of the flower is stinky to me and there is so much pollen, it is quite messy too. Even with all the negatives about the bush, I still like it.
For a moment, lets pretend that the bush is our planet and the flowers are women. At a certain age, women begin to find men appealing. When the “I want to have children and get married” feeling hits, women bloom and hope that the right bee will arrive and gather her pollen.
There are so many other beautiful women, but we cling to the hope of THE right bee coming along some day.
One day THE bee flies over and all the flowers get excited. THE bee stops and gets a little pollen from the flower on the other limb and then moves over to the flower on another limb. Suddenly, THE bee sees me and stops to gather my pollen. I see nothing except THE bee. He is the most handsome bee I have ever seen in my whole life.
“Oh sweet flower. Let me have your sweet nectar,” THE bee whispers to me in a voice like Pepé Le Pew, the French skunk in my childhood cartoon days. “I think you are the most beautiful flower on the whole bush.”
“You do?” I asked.
“Yes! I have never been with a more delightful flower and I only want your pollen forever,” THE bee says wooing me.
Without another thought, I give THE bee my pollen thinking that my happiness will never end.
THE bee stays with me and makes sure that ever bit of the pollen he has collected is safe. When there is no more of my sweet nectar, he bids me farewell and flies away.
I am devastated.
I have no pollen left and THE bee is hovering over another flower.
Like the flower, women wait for THE man…the one and only Mr. Right. Inside we are grateful for Mr. Right and since living with him has been our lifelong goal, we do all the right things – cook, clean, make money, have children, ensure he is completely taken care of and happy.
Then one day, Mr. Right becomes Mr. Wrong. Maybe he becomes physically or verbally abusive, has sexual relationships with other women, quits providing financially, neglects us or many other things that are just not what he promised.
Many women stay with Mr. Wrong.
There are a million reasons that women stay with men that mistreat them and men that stay with women that mistreat them. One of the main reasons is fear. They are afraid that no other man or woman will want to share their life. Another is they are afraid that they cannot support themselves in the manner they have become accustomed.
I totally do not believe that “no other man or woman will want to share their life.” That is just phooey. There are billions of men and women! It is silly to think that NO ONE is ever going to find you attractive or interesting again. Now the flip side is that maybe you don’t want to try again. That is okay too, but I just want to make the point that you ARE still desirable and worthy of love.
Yeah, I said the “L” word.
The second fear of “not being able to support themselves in the manner they have become accustomed” is unfortunately, often the cold, hard truth. If you put your husband or wife through school and didn’t finish your own education because you were home raising children, you definitely are at a disadvantage.
HOWEVER, IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE YOUR REALITY FOREVER.
Let me use my mother as an example. I’m sure she won’t mind.
My mother stayed home while my father worked at a very good job. Mom did not have any specialized education, so when they divorced, it was scary. Since Mom was an excellent seamstress, she made clothes and wedding dresses in the evenings and weekends. During the week, Mom was trained in a profession. It was rough. It was scary. We did not live in the same lifestyle that we had always lived, however, we were happy. In the end, after many years of working, Mom earned a wonderful income…even more than my father.
No matter how horrible you feel now, please do not believe that it is hopeless. You are unique and can make dreams come true. Okay, maybe you can’t have the dream come true with Mr. Right who turned into Mr. Wrong, but you can be successful.
The first step…You have to believe it. You have to believe it until you know it.
Do you see the computer monitor? Can you feel it? Do you know it exists? Are you sure?
That is how much you have to believe in yourself and know that you can succeed.
Will it be easy?
Probably not. It will probably be very difficult. Sometimes it will be extremely hard.
Is it possible?
Yes! Yes! Yes! Just don’t give up and keep believing in yourself.