No really, men do not read this personal and private “womanly” little posting.
I think they all left.
There’s one! Shoo! Go play with your power tools!
I think all the men are gone now.
What I was about to say is that I have an absolutely terrible relationship. THE Razor and I do not get along very well. Actually I loathe shaving. I can handle the armpits fine, I think, but the legs are another story.
When I shave, I would prefer to use a woman’s shaving cream with a light, fresh scent. However, the shaving cream made for women does not include some secret-keep-away-all-the-razor-rash-bumps like men’s shaving cream. That means I have to either smell like a man or have razor rash. I hate razor rash! Everyone tells me it isn’t the razor or the cream, it is my PALE, SENSITIVE SKIN. Hello! I’m a redhead. Don’t you know I have TAN-ENVY in the very worst way? Do not mention my glow-in-the-dark color or put your arm next to mine so that I can see the VAST DIFFERENCE between my translucent, whiteness that looks like a moon glowing and your golden, bronzed, brown, evenly tanned skin.
I also do not shave my legs…correctly. I shave like I am scrubbing a frying pan…back and forth, up and down. What can I say? I am trying to get done fast! It has really gotten me into trouble a couple of times. I remember one time I sliced all the way across the top part of my leg, oh, about ten inches. I was so hopping mad! It got infected and that was rather painful too. It did not, however, teach me to be more careful while shaving. I shave like a woman crazed.
I have literally tried all types of razors and blades, but they all do the same thing…little bumps…of course, not every time, just when I REALLY, REALLY don’t want them. I have found that I prefer the triple blades the best because EVEN I can tell that it is a closer shave. Besides, when you get cut with a triple blade, YOU REALLY DO SOME DAMAGE! Give me those battle scars! I want to have something to show for all this effort I put into having silky, smooth legs!
I would have electrolysis, but I am not into pain either. I’m soooooooo not into pain!
So here I am, stuck in a relationship that I can’t live without because as we all know, American woman must shave their legs. Have I ever mentioned that I think men have a double standard? Have you seen THEIR LEGS? Now that’s some hair growth!