Poem: I Am Not – I Am Not My Depressed Or Broken Heart

by Sherry Riter in Poem,PTSD,Sherry

Poem I Am Not – I Am Not My Depressed Or Broken Heart by Sherry Redhead Riter

I write and I share.

Sometimes I write and I don’t share.

Today, I write and I share a part of me that I normally don’t make public. I’m thinking about including this poem in my book because it shows that I am more whole now than I’ve ever been and although I still have missing parts that are not fully developed, I did win the fight.

I Am Not – I Am Not My Depressed Or Broken Heart

by Sherry Riter

I am not my depressed or broken heart.

I am not the tears I cried because of the loss of childhood dreams that did not come true or fairy tale endings that didn’t happen.

I am not the disorder that tried to end my existence which I fought against and arose wounded, but victorious.

I am not the grief that broken my heart, caused me to lose an incredible amount of weight almost to my own demise or shattered my world in such a way that I had to start all over again.

I am not the naive woman who believes all the lies, false pretenses or fake emotions shown to me by selfish people who simply try to use me for their own purposes.

I am not the car I drive, home I live in, blog I write, Twitter and Facebook that I interact on or the sometimes out of fashion clothes I wear.

I am not my favorite colors blue and white or the delicious Krispy Kreme doughnuts I adore even though I can no longer eat them because I had to start eating a grain free diet.

I am not my freckles, long red hair, hazel eyes, alabaster colored skin, long legs or nimble fingers which have been the cause of many jokes.

I am not the things you see.

I am much more.

I am the loving, sleep deprived, scared mother that cradled sick children in the wee hours of the morning without complaining.

I am the forgiving soul who works daily to let go of justified anger against people who are so selfish that they willingly cause me sadness and pain.

I am the compassionate woman that allowed my soul to become vulnerable to other people’s unhappiness and their struggles so that I could offer them comfort during their storms.

I am the strength, determination and perseverance that fills my scarred heart.

I am my hopeful and loving heart that will not give up my dreams.

When I’m gone and you can’t see me anymore, I am the soft wind that blows your hair away from your face like my gentle hand that once relished every moment I was able to touch you and enjoy your love for me.

I am the smell of gardenias that waft through the open window on the summer evening that surround you with feelings of home, peace and safety.

I am the taste of pancakes, sop chocolate and bacon on quiet mornings that satisfy your hunger the way I tried to provide for your needs.

I am the song on the radio while you drive to work that makes you remember how I mess up so many words while singing with a voice that definitely couldn’t win a contest.

I am the bright sunshine that warms your body like the blanket that I pulled up to cover you when the night grew cold or the warmth of my loving hug when you needed to ward away that lonely feeling.

I am the frothy lapping waves on the beach or the snow falling in the mountains that brings a smile to your lips when you see them because you remember that I never tired at experiencing their beauty, tranquility and peace.

No, I am not my depressed or broken heart. Those emotions are only temporary and I am so much more.

I am the woman that lived, laughed and will love you forever.

* * * * * * * * * *

So what do you think? In the book or not in the book?

This post was written by...

Sherry Riter is also known as The Redhead Riter. Sherry is witty, intelligent and addictive as she writes about cooking, family, marriage, failures, blogging tips, art, humor, inspiration, travel, PTSD and aging. Her goal is to inspire, motivate, educate and to make her audience laugh. Sherry embraces being a redhead and helps others to see the redhead point of view…"In some eras redheads were worshipped while others thought us witches. Personally, I like the former and think every day is 'Love a redhead day!'" She can also be found on Facebook, Google+, Pinterest, StumbleUpon, Linkedin, tweeting as @TheRedheadRiter and you can subscribe to her free blog feed.

{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Joan April 8, 2014 at 3:04 am

I agree, you are not your depressed or broken heart. You are so much more! 🙂

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2 Sherry Riter April 8, 2014 at 8:53 am

😀 Thanks Joan!

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3 Ian Hall April 8, 2014 at 5:32 am

I would say put it in, you are speaking from the heart which is good.
I’m currently experiencing conflicting feelings about how I should move forward and what you have written has helped to focus my mind.
My second wife and I divorced in November 2012 and it hit me hard. I have slowly been coming to terms with the whole thing but on Sunday she remarried and I am struggling to keep a sense of equilibrium. The reason for the divorce is a long story which I won’t bore you with but suffice to say I did hold some hope that one day she and I might reconcile even though she went back to the US and I remain in the UK. Anyway I will stop rambling now but keep up the good work and certainly put the poem in the book.

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4 Sherry Riter April 8, 2014 at 8:55 am

Thank you Ian!

I’m sorry about the divorce. I held out hope also after a divorce, so I know what you mean. Eventually time will help you adjust. It doesn’t erase the memories, but it softens the pain. {{{hugssss}}}

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5 meg April 8, 2014 at 6:06 am

Yes it should be in the book. The title should be ” I Am”. In The Book!!!!

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6 Sherry Riter April 8, 2014 at 8:55 am

Thank you Meg!!! 😀

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7 Joan Penfold April 8, 2014 at 12:47 pm

Wow. YES this is a must in the book~! It speaks to me like it was written for me and I know it will touch so many that read it. YES, YES, YES please include it!

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8 Sherry Riter April 8, 2014 at 8:48 pm

🙂 Thank you Joan! I’m so glad you could relate with the poem and enjoyed it. {{{hugsss}}}

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9 Linda Kish April 8, 2014 at 1:02 pm

In, definitely.

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10 Sherry Riter April 8, 2014 at 8:49 pm

Thanks Linda! So far, everyone is saying that I should add it, so I really appreciate the input! 🙂

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11 Charles O'Neal Taylor April 8, 2014 at 7:55 pm

Thank you Ms. I have been going a divorce of a marriage of 3 years since Oct. and what you post has been so much help to me and has help me keep my sanity, I am 64, she is 62, so it was not a Feb. to Dec. marriage, and I have taken the high road in this whole matter, compared to her trying to ruin me and my reputation with BOGUS legal charges, I am also the person who many times have shared your post by saying it has been PIRATED, I strongly suggests that your poem be in the book. Again thank you so much for what you post.

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12 Sherry Riter April 8, 2014 at 9:00 pm

I’m so sorry that your divorce has been rough and that my posts have been able to help you feel better.

I appreciate your comment and it appears that everyone thinks it should be in the book! 🙂

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13 Pam@over50feeling40 April 10, 2014 at 9:21 am

I am certain your honest words will help others…thanks for sharing on the Thursday Blog Hop!

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14 Sherry Riter April 10, 2014 at 11:06 am

Thank you Pam!!! {{{hugsss}}}

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15 Bohemian Babushka (@BBabushka) April 10, 2014 at 12:17 pm

Si! By all means put this in a book. Here from the Thursday Blog Hop and realize I was lead specifically to this post so I could share it with my daughter. Gracias y BB2U

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16 Sherry Riter April 12, 2014 at 10:29 pm

Thank you! I’m so glad you enjoyed it and hope your daughter does too. {{{hugssss}}}

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17 Babushkas bebe April 10, 2014 at 4:20 pm

You are wonderful and your words are so true. Thank you for writing our truth.

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18 Sherry Riter April 12, 2014 at 10:29 pm

Thank you and you’re welcome.

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19 Kim Snyder April 11, 2014 at 2:11 pm

That is beautiful! And yes I think it should go in your book. It is not about being depressed but it seems to be more about how you got over it and moved on. It is tough letting go and to stop thinking about being a set of two, and now you are on your own. Writing is wonderful because it helps us let go of bad feelings.

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20 Sherry Riter April 12, 2014 at 10:26 pm

Thank you so much Kim! 🙂 {{hugssss}}

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21 Dianalyn April 12, 2014 at 11:18 pm

Oh….SOOOO in the book! I could see every moment in time and feel every emotion you felt…just as if it were me. So beautiful…

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22 Sherry Riter April 13, 2014 at 2:30 am

Thank you so much! I appreciate the input and thrilled that you could “feel” it! 🙂 😀

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