I personally do not like snakes because I am scared of them. A snake’s tongue is also rather disgusting because it is split in two sides. As a snake slithers around, his forked tongue goes in out of his mouth. The advantage for a snake to have a forked tongue is that it provides more surface area which enables this reptile to find prey, a mate, shelter and paths to slither up and down. Regardless of that great tidbit, I still do not like snakes.
A common saying is that someone “speaks with a forked tongue” which means that the person is a liar. In an abstract way, it makes sense. The forked tongue has more surface area and a liar covers his lies by telling more lies.
The Chronic Liar – The Pathological Liar
Have you ever known a chronic liar? Unfortunately, I’ve known several chronic liars who were so good at lying, everyone believed them. Not only were they able to tell the lie, but they lived the lie and cried real tears if you even hinted that you doubted them.
After finding out that you have been lied to over and over and over again, most of the time it is impossible to ever trust the person again. Unfortunately, most chronic liars do not change – they lie throughout their lives.
A pathological liar is someone who chronically lies. Even though they know that the lie will be revealed or that it will cause bad consequences, they still lie. The pathological liar usually has low self-esteem and gets a temporary high after lying which could be equated to a high from alcohol or drugs. The constant repetition of the same lies creates a mythical persona that boosts the liar’s ego. Lying provides a defense mechanism that enables the person to hide the effects of their low self-esteem.
Lying is sad for the person being lied to and the liar. It’s just sad all the way around.
Signs Of A Liar
There are signs that give a liar away.
- Blinking – Liars tend to move their arms, hands, and fingers less. They also blink less than people who tell the truth.
- Shifty Eyes – I think when a person has shifty eyes, it is the most common and easiest way to spot a liar.
- Pupils Change – When a person is under stress, adrenaline races through the body and causes the pupils to dilate. Lying is a stress inducing activity, so changing pupil size can be an indication that you’re talking to a liar.
- Folded Arms – Although this isn’t a dead giveaway, a person who often folds their arms in front of them to produce a barrier could be telling lies.
- Nose Toucher – When a person lies, they frequently touch the base of their nose.
- Wiggler – A liar wriggle, wiggles and fidgets because they are usually nervous about getting caught in their lie.
- High Pitched Voice – A liar is already tense and it often causes their voice to become high pitched.
- Pause – When lying, a person will often pause longer than the honest person.
- Ummmm – When telling lies and pausing, a liar will often fill time with ummm, er, well and other time filler words and sounds.
- One Story – A liar has a story and they repeat it without any changes over and over again. They don’t “remember” anything new to add to the story because it is a lie that they will get confused if they change it too much.
- Question Repeat – A liar will often repeat the question that is asked. Usually, they are trying to stall for time to think of answer that makes sense with their lie.
- Too Much Information – A liar keeps talking and answers questions that no one is asking them.
- Makes No Sense – When pressured for details, a liar often provides answers that make no sense and are completely ridiculous.
- Non-Specific – Liars do not talk about the minutia. Instead, they talk about a few bold facts and avoid little details so that they won’t get confused or mess up their initial lie.
- Ridiculous Smile – We can all tell a fake smile when we see it and a liar can’t smile genuinely. The smile is just pasted to the lips and never makes it up to the eyes.
- Guilt Tripping – Puppy dog eyes or accusational words are used by liars to put the guilt rip on you for doubting them.
- Sweating – Nervousness often causes sweating and liars are usually nervous about their lies. So a liar may sweat and may sweat profusely!
- Jaw Clincher – Liars may also clench their jaws.
- Tight Lipped – A tight face, especially the lips and mouth are often signs that a person is uncomfortable because they are lying.
One word of caution…Just because someone has some of the above traits when speaking to you, it doesn’t mean that they are lying. Some of these traits also can indicate nervousness or embarrassment, so don’t immediately jump to conclusions.
Tell Me Lies, Tell Me Sweet Little Lies
In the late 1980’s a band known as Fleetwood Mac sang a song with lyrics that included the following chorus:
Tell me lies
Tell me sweet little lies
(Tell me lies, tell me, tell me lies)
Oh, no, no you can’t disguise
(You can’t disguise, no you can’t disguise)
Tell me lies
Tell me sweet little lies
Beautiful lyrics, don’t you think? No? At face value without the great tune running through your head, you may think that the lyrics are horrible. You don’t really want to have someone tell you lies because the lies aren’t ever sweet. Right?
Years and years ago I was in a relationship with a pathological liar. Although time after time I tripped him up on his lies, I stayed with him because I wanted to believe what he was telling me. At the time, I was willing to hear his “sweet little lies” because my self-esteem was pretty low and I loved him.
Liars can see an easy, naive believer. A liar can be anything or anyone they want to be when in a relationship with a naive redhead…ummm…I mean a naive person. The best defense to falling prey to a love relationship with a liar is to love yourself and increase your self-esteem so that you will not be gullible to lies.
The next time someone is telling you something, if you hear a quiet hissing noise, you should probably hold up your hand and say, “Talk to the hand, not to the face.”