Pure White Gardenia Beginnings

by Sherry Riter in PTSD

virginia white miniature gardenia flower 7

White is associated with clean, fresh, new, pure, peace, beginnings, death, the hottest hot, formal attire, virtue and innocence.

I also associate it with sugar, bread, whipped cream, milk, vanilla bean ice cream, glaze on Krispy Kreme doughnuts, snow, new sneakers, crisp sheets, sheep, cotton balls, my non-tanned skin AND gardenias which happens to be my favorite flower.

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I have lovely memories associated with gardenias.

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There were lots of gardenia bushes in the flower beds in the home that I lived in when I young.

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I remember smelling them during the summer as I was falling to sleep. Back then we didn’t have air conditioning, so we had fans in the windows. I would go to sleep at the foot of my bed so that I could feel the breeze and wouldn’t be so hot at night. Since the gardenia bushes were outside my window, I could smell their beautiful fragrance.

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Not too many years ago, I plucked a couple gardenia petals off a flower and said to Alyssa, “Look!” When she turned around to look at me, I had put a petal over each nostril and I was sucking it to keep them stuck there for her to see. I looked silly as can be and she laughed, so it was a mission accomplished moment.

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On Monday, I hope to have a fresh, new, clean beginning. You see, I finally found another trained professional to help me with my PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). I’ve had two psychologists thus far, but I am past the point of just talking about my PTSD and the trauma that caused it, reading about it or thinking about it. So after much research, I have found someone that specializes in helping people with trauma and PTSD. Finding someone with that specialty hasn’t been an easy task. So much about PTSD is just not understand and that has been the really sad part about trying to recover.

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Anyway, I am really looking forward to my appointment and I have hope, albeit guarded hope that I will get my whole self back again. It is almost incomprehensible that I could get rid of this albatross, but since this is my third therapist, maybe the numbers are on my side. You know the saying, “Third times the charm!”

New beginnings. Sounds nice, doesn’t it?

 

 

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Sherry Riter, also known as The Redhead Riter. Sherry is witty, intelligent and addictive as she writes about cooking, family, marriage, failures, blogging tips, art, humor, inspiration, travel, PTSD and aging. Her goal is to inspire, motivate, educate and to make her audience laugh. Sherry embraces being a redhead and helps others to see the redhead point of view…"In some eras redheads were worshipped while others thought us witches. Personally, I like the former and think every day is 'Love a redhead day!'" She can also be found on Facebook, Google+, Pinterest, StumbleUpon, Linkedin, tweeting as @TheRedheadRiter and you can subscribe to her free blog feed.

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

1 mom July 12, 2012 at 2:17 am

Ahhhhhh, mine too!! The lady in front of us had miniature ones and your mam-maws were huge!!! As big as the front of my car and it was only a few yards form her window where you slept with her and dad. Also she kept then in vase’s all over the house. No flower can even compare. mom loves you

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2 The Redhead Riter July 12, 2012 at 8:04 am
3 Skip_D July 12, 2012 at 2:27 am

It sounds very nice! I wish you all the best with this new beginning! Of course, that wish comes with {{{huggsssssss}}}

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4 The Redhead Riter July 12, 2012 at 8:05 am

Thank you most especially for the hugs and {{hugsss}} right backatcha!

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5 Susanne July 12, 2012 at 8:26 am

Gardenias in the north are a rare commodity. However, I have had the good fortune to have bask in their scent and be transported to a place more tranquil and perfect.

I am so excited that you have found a psychiatrist who specializes in PTSD. I know how difficult it is to track down “help” who has expertise in a particular condition. Due to my head trauma, it has been a challenge to find professionals who understand the reasons for my actions, reactions etc. In my case, I will never be “cured”, however, I am always attemtping to cope and manage my condition. Some days it works better than others…lol.

My fingers are crossed…let this be the one!

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6 Stéfan July 12, 2012 at 9:17 am

Hang in there Red. And yes, third time’s the charm! You will see. Thinking of you and sending you waves of positive thoughts.

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7 Sue July 12, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Gosh, gosh, I cannot express how much I hope right along with you that 3rd times the charm and I hope the new therapist turns out to be a gardenia.

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8 Joan July 12, 2012 at 3:35 pm

I have faith that you will get your whole self back again! I really do! :)

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