Senility
When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old lady sitting on a park bench sobbing her eyes out. I stopped and asked her what was wrong. She said, ‘I have a 22 year old husband at home. He makes love to me every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground coffee.’
I said, ‘Well, then why are you crying?’
She said, ‘He makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favorite brownies and then makes love to me for half the afternoon.
I said, ‘Well, why are you crying?’
She said, ‘For dinner he makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favorite dessert and then makes love to me until 2:00 a.m.’
I said, ‘Well, why in the world would you be crying?’
She said, ‘I can’t remember where I live!’
In Your Ear
Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel’s ear and she said, ”Mabel, do you know you’ve got a suppository in your left ear?’
Mabel answered, ‘I have a suppository in my ear?’
She pulled it out and stared at it. Then she said, ‘Ethel, I’m glad you saw this thing. Now I think I know where to find my hearing aid.’
The Pearl
An elderly couple were on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard. They searched for days and couldn’t find her, so the captain sent the old man back to shore with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something.
Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the boat. It read: ‘Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife dead at the bottom of the ocean. We hauled her up to the deck and attached to her butt was an oyster and in it was a pearl worth $50,000. Please advise.’
The old man faxed back: ‘Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap.’
This post was written by...
Sherry Riter is also known as The Redhead Riter. Sherry is witty, intelligent and addictive as she writes about cooking, family, marriage, failures, blogging tips, art, humor, inspiration, travel, PTSD and aging. Her goal is to inspire, motivate, educate and to make her audience laugh. Sherry embraces being a redhead and helps others to see the redhead point of view…"In some eras redheads were worshipped while others thought us witches. Personally, I like the former and think every day is 'Love a redhead day!'" She can also be found on Facebook, Google+, Pinterest, StumbleUpon, Linkedin, tweeting as @TheRedheadRiter and you can subscribe to her free blog feed.
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
oh! I think I would just buy a new hearing aid. =/
I really loved the first one… my husband got a kick out of the last one.. haha! Good stuff.
p.s. I was wondering if you still do Saturday Stalker posts… I found some really great blogs through one you did a while back and have been following them ever since (Blue Cotton Memory and Crown of Beauty). I love good recommendations! =)
OUCH!!!!!
Those are the kind of jokes you *really* hate yourself for laughing at – but you just. can't. help. it!!!!! LOL!!!
Hi there! Visiting from a blog list and wanted to say "hello." *WAVES*
Love the jokes. I snorted at the first one. You're my kind of blogger. I love someone with a sense of humor! You'll find that I have one myself 🙂
I am gonna mosey on over and follow you. Would love if you did the same! 🙂
I am still LMBO! The suppository one has be ROTFL!
Hey Red! LOLOLOLOL1 That's not exactly the kind of joke an "old lady" headed out for a cruise tomorrow needs to hear! LOL! I'm definitely not going to tell it to my hubby, THAT'S FOR SURE! LOLOLOLOL!