I am a professional at watching the sun slowly dip into the horizon. There have been times that I raced to the highest place possible so that I could see just a few more minutes of the sun. Every time I have watched the sun’s wild display of colors as it sets in the evening, I am always amazed at how quickly the whole sky changes.
The sunset is never the same and we enjoy the changes in colors each day.
Like the sunset, life is filled with changes and nothing is ever the same no matter how hard we wish it to be or try to force it. This lesson of change is still something I struggle with constantly.
I find peace in the same old things. Is that bad? I keep asking myself if it is bad to be satisfied with the lack of change because for seven years my life has been filled with it. Most of the changes have been unwanted and I’m pretty sure I complained and whined during them all.
Connie Sky said, “Embrace change. True success can be defined by your ability to adapt to changing circumstances.” Well, I have pondered her sentiments for a very long time and wondered if I held myself back by my reluctance to embrace changes. That possibility is really hard for me to wrap my mind around.
Am I my own worst enemy?
After much soul searching and contemplation, I believe that I know exactly why I resist change. Here is my bold revelation…I don’t want to be hurt.
Earth shattering isn’t it?
Many times people have talked about change and fear, but I really didn’t think it applied to me. Let me just say, I WAS SO WRONG!
My fear of the unknown fills me with so much anxiety that sometimes I am paralyzed into inaction. The possibility of pain is almost too much for me to bear. I have actually missed out on wonderful opportunities because of my hesitation in the face of change.
When my life completely fell apart during the last year, I had no power to stop any of the events that took place. I even lost the ability to control my own mind while experiencing PTSD flashbacks. During it all, I felt like I was floundering like a fish laying on the river bank without water. Suffocation was imminent and I couldn’t see any way out of the peril.
I kept thinking through all the pain that I must be a really bad person and that God didn’t love me very much. I started telling family and friends that I was on God’s black list. Thinking that my Creator found me less than desirable only added to my sadness and inability to cope.
What have I learned?
- People I love are going to die and it is going to be very painful. When they are gone, a piece of me will forever be missing.
- Everyone has the freedom to make their own choices and the right to completely ignore me even if I actually offer good advice.
- Just because people are in a family doesn’t mean that they will be there for you when you hit the bottom. Sometimes they are so consumed with their own lives and problems that they are incapable of helping you and others just don’t care.
- Some people are selfish and ungrateful and no matter what you do or say, they will always be selfish and ungrateful.
- Our body and health are temporary.
- No one knows what will happen in a minute, hour, month or year. Live in the moment and enjoy as many as humanly possible.
- Life is short. No. Life is very, very short.
- I am important.
- It takes two to save a relationship. I can’t save it all alone. In order for a relationship to grow, love has to be a verb more often than at Thanksgiving and Christmas.
- I am a very loving and unselfish person. I have given and sacrificed a lot for the people I love and even if they don’t appreciate it, the sacrifices helped to positively mold my character.
- I have regrets, but dwelling on them will not ever change the situation.
- I have been hurt and am still hurt, but one thing is for sure…eventually the pain will end.
- Never give up on yourself.
- I love my blog. Alright. I know that was very random and probably made you read it twice, but I love my blog because it has become my friend. It listens. It doesn’t judge me. It is always there whenever I need it. My blog makes me feel better.
I have several big unpleasant things I have to do over the next year and there are rumors of another big layoff at my work again too. So I am just trying to do my best each day, remain positive and keep happiness in my life.
One thing I know for sure…I have definitely changed and things that were beautiful before are even more beautiful now. Do you know what is the best of all? I have hope again. Maybe it is just a little bit, but it is a whole lot more hope than I had two years ago.
but we must never lose infinite hope.
Now, the time we have all been waiting for…(drum roll) This is the weekly post where I spotlight my Rockin’ Friends who are the Top Nine active participants and loyal followers in my community which has THE BEST people in the world
! If you want to be mentioned here next week, then all it takes is to come in and start chatting with everyone in my community.
Below are a few discussions going on in my community :
- Favorite Christmas movie?
- What Can I Say? I’m A Post Counter Diva! — (56,892 comments)
- Yes or No to Flu shots?
- If you could have anything…
- Orange you…
- Either Or- New Game
- Giveaway sponsors for your blog (go on, take ’em)
- Do you wear headbands? ponytails?
- It’s the same thing every year!
With a big, heartfelt thank you for their participation and friendship, here are the Rockin’ Friends this week in order of most participation.
- Katlupe at Homesteading On The Internet
- Joan at Rich Beyond My Wildest Dreams
- Marlene at Marlene’s Many Hats
- Meg at Mergie
- Pam (no blog)
- Teresa Wilkinson ~ The Storyteller
- Mama Penguin at Keeper of the Penguins
- Paula at The Wandering Hearth
- PJ at PJ’s Prayer Line
I’m so glad that I’ve been able to become friends with these wonderful people who are so active in my community. I encourage you to add their blogs to your blogroll, but also come over and chat with us in my community.
For everyone mentioned in the top nine this week, feel free to grab the Rockin’ Friend badge below and thank you for your participation!!
Until next week…Kiss your family, hug your friends and don’t forget to be the friend you would like to have around.
Woo Us To Your Blog
As always, attached is the weekly Linky to enter either the main URL to your site or add each post you publish throughout the week. You don’t have to do anything special, just drop your link in and get a little extra exposure to your site.