I’m not telling this story to slam my husband, but our relationship isn’t perfect and I’m sure yours isn’t either. This concept surely isn’t a huge secret. We are all human and have blips on the screen, bumps in the road, cracks in the roof – however you want to characterize it. Basically, we have bad days and this is a perfect illustration, so I’m going to use it.
Besides, my husband doesn’t read my blog any more anyway, so it will be our little secret.
I can name the times on one hand that I’ve locked my keys in my car and that is quite an accomplishment if you consider my age.
So picture this….
Alyssa and I had just spent an hour and a half with a photographer who is going to take her senior picture. Then I went to my therapy appointment where the good doctor was golden bronze from his week at the beach with his family. I don’t think I heard anything he said for an hour because I sat coveting his tan.
Sorry that I have so much tan envy. Yes, I’ve got it bad. I want to be brown if only for an hour.
I knew I needed to pick up my prescriptions, but I hadn’t talked to Mom yet and it was already 7:30 p.m.
While sitting in front of the store, surrounded by a semi-dark parking lot with my car doors locked, I talked to my mother for about ten minutes. Then I hung up, stuffed my purse under my arm, opened the car door, stepped out into the stifling heat, pushed the car lock down and slammed the door closed at the same moment that I spied my keys sprawled across the passenger seat.
I don’t know why, but I felt panic!
I immediately called my husband and he thought I was joking. Eventually, I convinced him that I really was locked out of my car!
So the white knight should come riding up on his stallion and save the damsel in distress, right?
Remember, it’s not always white lace and roses.
Tom eventually drove to be with me and called the guy-who-unlocks-car-doors-for-distracted-people. He got so mad (strike #1 because I was already stressed) when the dispatcher ask him if the keys were on the driver or passenger seat that I had to finish the conversation. Eventually I was told that the guy-who-unlocks-car-doors-for-distracted-people would be with us in an hour which meant that Tom and I had to….wait.
I got in Tom’s car and preceded to wait.
Quality time, right? Please, don’t make me roll my eyes at you the way Alyssa does when I remind her to “be good” when she goes out with her friends.
Let’s stop the story there for a moment and talk about a few facts:
- I work as hard as my husband
- I don’t demand a lot of him
- I have only locked my keys in my car a few times in my lifetime
- I’ve had a lot of trauma in my life lately
- I didn’t lock my keys in the car on purpose
- I’m a good wife
- I do many things for my family because I love them
- I am often inconvenienced by my family’s requests which I perform anyway, but often don’t get thanked
Back to the story…
Tom complained with words and body language the whole time we sat in the car and I felt like a huge aggravation in his life. (strike #2)
Regardless of the topic, he found fault with me and made sure that I knew I fell short of the mark. (strike #3)
By the time the guy-who-unlocks-car-doors-for-distracted-people got to us, I was leaning on my car alone. Tom was parked several aisles away in a mostly empty parking lot in the dark. Obviously, the interior of his car was too unpleasant for me. (strike #4)
Pause for a second.
Maybe you are wondering what the heck a sprinkler picture has to do with this story. I’m going to tell you, so don’t stress the gray matter.
Our actions affect everyone we come in contact with every day.
I lost my keys which affected:
- my husband
- the man on the phone at the 1-800 car-unlock service
- the woman on the phone that dispatched our service call
- the guy that unlocked my car
Just like a sprinkler that spits water all over the surrounding grass, our words, actions, reactions and nonverbal body language also touch other people’s lives all day long.
Let’s keep going and take it off pause.
At one point of the conversation with Tom in his car, I asked him, “Do you treat people like this at work?”
“No,” he said quite disgustedly, “I’m a professional at work.”
So let me get this right….
Tom had rather treat everyone that he doesn’t know really great because he wants to keep that professional image, but since I am just the lowly wife who keeps the home clean, has supported him while he has been jobless, shops for the groceries, cooks, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera, it is okay to treat me with disrespect? (strike #5)
Something doesn’t look right about that picture.
Think about it you all…you got married because you LOVE each other and WANT to spend the rest of your lives together or that is what you said anyway. Don’t you think the right thing to do is SUPPORT each other ALL THE TIME? I mean, really, are your co-workers going to be standing by you when you are on your deathbed or will it be your spouse? If you spouse was abducted by aliens right now, would you feel guilty because you didn’t get to say one last apology for the brutal words you left at parting?
Be careful with the water from your sprinklers. Make sure the water doesn’t shoot out too hard or that you deprive the grass of the needed wetness to quench it’s thirst in the sweltering heat.
Are your water droplets welcomed or do people and your spouse want to put on raincoats and hold umbrellas to keep them away?
I’m sure I could have thought of another story to illustrate my point, but I bet you will remember this one a whole lot longer and it might actually make enough of an impact to motivate and alter poor behavior. Besides, the next day he apologized and I forgave him. Yes, that quickly and now it is over only to be remembered by millions of people on the internet scattered all over the world and in “my journal blog book” that will be printed for my daughter at the end of the year.
Propping my feet on the desk and
feeling quite vindicated,
I guess I better repent now…