Tell The Truth Thursday – Hard Lesson For Me!

by Sherry Riter in Change,Tell The Truth Thursday

Tell The Truth Thursday
Welcome to “Tell The Truth Thursday” where the question that has been posted in my right side bar gets answered by me and you…and sometimes my husband too! Did you prepare your post and are you ready to drop your URL into the Linky so that we all can follow? Grab the thumb above linking it back to this blog posting and let’s get started…

The question this week is :

    What is one of the most important lessons you’ve learned?

There is a prevailing theme in my life with one lesson that seems to repeat itself over and over again. I’m not sure if it is because I’m not getting it right or if it is just a fact of life for me and everyone else on this planet.

I shared a story about Alyssa not too long ago that I’m sure she doesn’t like remembering, however, it explains the process and lessons she needed to learn in hopes that her life choices would be better.

I also wrote a post using one of my favorite movie pictures of two people in love on the same topic that I will share with you now.

If you do not have any struggles, hardships or trials in your life, then you are not growing and learning. That is just a simple fact. In order to progress in this life, one must go through a refiner’s fire. That simply means that we have to be stripped of all our impurities and imperfections before we can become like a cut and polished diamond.

One of my greatest flaws is trying to circumvent that entire process. I try to go from totally rough to perfect in one step. It doesn’t work that way! To try and trick the laws of nature, I sometimes think that I can change another person. When two people are married, it is often called nagging and I promise you, it just doesn’t work.

When I pull onto the highway, I have to make one directional choice after the next in order to get to my desired final destination. All around me there are other drivers doing the same thing, but since they are going somewhere else, they are choosing different streets and turns. The same can be said for free agency. Everyone has it to use as they choose not as we choose for them.

Life is a highway

I finally conceded a few years ago that I can only change me.

Just me.

Only me.

No one else except for me.

Guess what?

That stinks.

Because I can only change me, I have suffered pain and heartache since other people do not always make the best decisions. I don’t always choose right either and that means that I also cause other people pain and heartache. It’s just a vicious circle!

However vicious that circle might be, I know that I can not change anyone except me. That, my dear Riters and Readers was a very hard lesson to learn and one that I must constantly remind myself almost on a daily basis. Old habits and beliefs die hard and I think I will have to fight the aching desire to control everything forever.

Gracious me, I think that makes me a control freak!


Now what?

Well, go back up to the red underlined words in this post and read the posts that pop up. I know you’ll enjoy them. If you have written a post to answer the Tell The Truth Thursday question, enter the post URL that answers the question in the Linky below.

That’s all done? Great. Good job! Way to go! Thank you!

Now will you please bring me some ice cream with chocolate syrup, whipped cream and a cherry on top?

That’s too much? Well, I said please!!!





The Redhead Riter

This post was written by...

Sherry Riter is also known as The Redhead Riter. Sherry is witty, intelligent and addictive as she writes about cooking, family, marriage, failures, blogging tips, art, humor, inspiration, travel, PTSD and aging. Her goal is to inspire, motivate, educate and to make her audience laugh. Sherry embraces being a redhead and helps others to see the redhead point of view…"In some eras redheads were worshipped while others thought us witches. Personally, I like the former and think every day is 'Love a redhead day!'" She can also be found on Facebook, Google+, Pinterest, StumbleUpon, Linkedin, tweeting as @TheRedheadRiter and you can subscribe to her free blog feed.

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

1 mangiabella July 29, 2010 at 2:58 am

Hiya Red! to answer your question: there are a few important lessons I have learned that I'd love to share…

1) never fight where you are at along this life journey – embrace it – you will undoubtedly wear yourself out trying to rush through challenging seasons, and possibly miss things you're meant to face.

2) Learn the freeing art of simply saying, "I don't know", and giving it time…those "I don't know's" in life can be gifts to keep us humble, curious, aware and truly alive.

3) we all tend to have an inner critic that can literally sap all the creative inspiration from us if we don't name it and fight it and stand on what we know to be true.

4) "comparing" is truly a cancer of the soul, unnecessary and unfruitful in every way. We sometimes get so caught up in focusing on what God is doing in other people's lives that we neglect to notice what He is doing in our own lives.

5) gratitude & the art of thankfulness is truly the nucleus of wonder and joy in our day to day lives.

6) always save a little room in your tummy for an unexpected nosh, you never know when a good friend – or- a new friend will cross your path – and it could very possibly be "the unpardonable sin" to be "too full" to share a nibble with another soul 🙂

ciao bella! come visit me any time at


2 Holly July 29, 2010 at 7:13 am

Your words here are SO TRUE!! And there are some things about ME I can't change but wish I could!!

If only I could be Samantha Stevens or Jeanie!! *sigh*

I loved how you handled the candy with Alyssa! AWESOME!! I did something similar with my toddler and an onion I was chopping! LOL!! She was stubborn even then! Would not admit that it wasn't good enough to eat like an apple!! ;p

And I LOVED this quote from your other link:
"To love someone is nothing,
to be loved by someone is something,
but to be loved by
the one you love is everything"

I just may have to do a WHOLE POST on it some time!! Thanks! *sigh*


3 Teresha@Marlie and Me July 29, 2010 at 12:03 pm

I like to think that I am someone who learns her lesson the first time, but that is probably not the case. hmmm…
did you get your ice cream?


4 Secret Garden July 29, 2010 at 2:21 pm

I just wanted to thank you. This is my first Tell The Truth Thursday and this topic really hit home. I am already looking forward to next week… and the week after.. and the week after! Thanks again, Lori


5 Lisa @ Grandma's Briefs July 29, 2010 at 3:04 pm

I love the idea of this: providing a post-writing prompt for your readers. Smart!

I don't have a post on the topic since this is my first time here (from SITS) but I wanted to comment about what you have learned. There's a quote I tell myself, my (adult) daughters, my husband all the time: "You can't change anyone else, you can only change your reaction to them." It's in the changing of the reaction that we grow … even when it sucks.


6 Summer July 29, 2010 at 11:47 pm

I just wanted you to know this is my first TTTT and I really enjoyed the experience. I'll be looking forward to next weeks, and this is such a wonderful way for others to view a specific blog, great teamwork you are putting on here, I'm very impressed.


7 Madison July 30, 2010 at 12:11 am

Yes, the only person we can change is ourselves. That is a tough pill to swallow, especially when you want to help someone who doesn't want to be helped.


8 The Redhead Riter August 3, 2010 at 3:04 am

Thank you mangiabella! So true!

Holly – Wow! An onion?!!! Ewwwww!

Teresha@Marlie and Me – I wish I learned the first time every time! Yes I did get the ice cream, but I had to get it myself!!! LOL

Secret Garden – I'm so glad you are participating. I look forward to see you again!

Lisa @ Grandma's Briefs – It is such a hard lesson to learn sometimes!

Summer – Thank you! I love helping everyone spread the word about their blog.

Madison – It is so much easier when we can just change ourselves because watching someone who won't change themselves just DRIVES ME CRAZY!


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