It’s that time again to have some questions answered from a man’s point of view. The topic for the Men’s Meme is somet Tom’s answers and comments will be in BLUE:
What do you think are the most important things a husband can do for his wife?First reaction to the question: I’m so much the wrong guy to ask that question. (deep sigh) If I were a good husband and when I am, I place my sweetheart’s needs and schedule ahead of my own, quick to help without being asked, carry my weight financially, complete housekeeping chores without being asked and assist with child rearing/steering responsibilities. (Excuse me while I go find a sharp piece of glass now.)
Obvious by Tom’s short answer, he doesn’t like this question very much. I think this is an important question for a couple to answer together because marriage is supposed to be a companionship.
I have a million things to do each day or so it feels that way. No one has to tell me the chores that need to be completed. I just know that meals need to be prepared, laundry washed, etc. I do not, however, think that all the chores should be mine to accomplish nor that I should have to ask my husband to help. A marriage is a companionship and thus the work should be divided. Husbands know that:
• they eat off plates and wear clothes that need to be washed,
• walk on floors that need to be vacuumed,
• drive cars that need gas pumped into them,
• walk in yards that need to be mowed,
• bathe in bathrooms that need to remain clean
• …etc. etc. etc. (sounds like Yul Brynner in the movie “The King and I“)
I’m sure you get the picture. Men are able to go to job that includes a long list of responsibilities and, guess what? They are successful! Their wives are not at the workplace to ask or tell them what to do and the men still succeed. I think this proves the point that men are highly intelligent beings and do not need their wives telling them what to do all the time! If a man isn’t pulling his share of the responsibility at home, it is simply because he doesn’t want to do so. It really is that simple.
I don’t think there is a law that says, “When the woman has worked all day long, she must come home and work until her head hits the pillow at night while her husband just watches television and enjoys the fruits of all her labors.” Didn’t that end with Archie Bunker? I still feel sorry for Edith.
If marriage is a companionship, a team, a loving couple working toward mutual goals, then the work and the fun should be divided equitably. This doesn’t become an issue when there is mutual respect, caring, love, support and unselfishness. It doesn’t sound hard, but obvious by the rate of divorce, it is harder than it appears.
Depending on the husband…If we tell our husbands what to do, we are nags. If we don’t tell them what to do, they do nothing. Where is that fine line? I don’t have the answer.
What I do know is this…
If a man puts God first and serves Him faithfully, the relationship with his wife is more respectful, loving and kind. When men feel that they must answer to God, they become more humble and less prideful. If a man truly honors God, then honoring his wife is a given.
On the flip side, women can’t expect the impossible from their husbands either. The golden rule or ethic of reciprocity really does apply here – Treat your husband the way you want him to treat you.
I don’t think you really want him to nag you day in and day out.
If we want a relationship like “The Notebook”, we have to be willing to practice total unselfishness. Do you agree? I would love to hear your thoughts on this subject.