It is time for my blog’s testosterone injection again. I am actually enjoying having my husband’s input twice a week. So Tom is sitting on the couch waiting impatiently for me to ask him the question and then he will dictate his answer to me. His comments will be in BLUE.
“Are you ready Tom?
“The question is…
- What is your favorite discipline tip? Who handles most of the discipline in your home, you or your wife? Why?”
“That’s three questions, so…#1 I still believe in spanking.”
This really surprised me so I immediately asked, “You do?”
Quite befuddled, I asked him again. “Children? You really believe in spanking children?” I still was quite shocked.
“Oh! Are we talking about children?” he asked and then he started laughing.
GEESH! Men! He truly takes advantage of my gullible nature.
“I’m going to ignore that statement! Now Tom, let’s start over and be serious!!!!!!”
“Alright, alright” he said still laughing. “I’ve had a lot of children. I had nine and lost three. Now, I have inherited Alyssa. So I will comment in reverse order. As far as I’m concerned, the role of disciplining Alyssa is exclusively her mother’s responsibility. This is common in a step parent family with an older child. If I had married when she was two or three, that would be a different story.Alyssa is a special spirit. My role as a stepfather was not to be a disciplinarian, but to be a father image, male influence, and to love her mom. That goes farther than any effort or attempt to redirect or discipline.“
“Parents of intact families should share the disciplinarian role and be a united front so that the child can not split the parents for a pardon from one. Regarding my biological children, each would say that I have never spanked them which to my surprise is true. I remember most recently that Jeffrey, in a family gathering, set the record straight that I had never spanked any of them. Jeff has completed his first semester in college and plays viola in the Richmond Symphony. What’s to spank about that? On the other hand, they have all needed perhaps more discipline than they received to appreciate consequences.”
“A tip to young mothers…When your child is disobedient there must be consistent consequences and follow through with them. Discipline immediately, but never when you are angry.”
“The length of time for punishment should be age appropriate. For children under five, a day or two of punishment or restriction is appropriate. Children over five and under twelve can endure and benefit from a week or two. Teens are difficult because their developmental stage is precisely about individuating: i.e. experimenting with values, power, control, and limits. Pay attention, tread lightly, be tolerant, and remain loving.”
“As for spouses, discipline is hopeless…well, except for my opening comment.”
Sometimes he is so goofy!