Life happens.

We are all so different. Really, think about it. There are not two people living on this planet that are exactly alike…and yet, we are also very much the same. As you are driving or being driven, have you looked at all the people in the cars and thought this…

None of them know each other. They are all going home and they know a whole different circle of friends and family. They have a job. They will eat dinner, go to bed…just like me. We all do similar activities: laugh, cry, sleep, eat, cook, watch TV, go to the movies, shop for groceries, clean our homes, raise children, interact with friends, love family, play with our pets, anticipate holidays, have flat tires, get computer viruses, people we love pass away, have automobile wrecks, lose too much weight or gain too much weight, we are afflicted with diseases, worry about our future, have our heart broken, have someone betray our trust…and the list could go on and on.

As different as we may be than one another, we are very much alike and share common hopes, dreams and disappointments. Most people want the same things…love and happiness.

The definition of hope is:
A belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one’s life. Hope is the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best.

The definition of abyss is:
An immeasurably deep gulf or great space; intellectual or moral depths; dark place of despair.

What happens when we lose hope and fall into an abyss? At one point or another, each of us suffer a terrible and devastating pain that we must face. Did you ever see “The Never Ending Story”?

This excerpt applies to all of us and we should prepare ahead of time so that we can successfully cope with tragedy.

There are several very powerful thoughts in the clip…

“…because people have begun to lose their hopes and forget their dreams so the nothing grows stronger.”

“The nothing is an emptiness that’s left, it is like a despair destroying this world.”

“People who have no hopes are easy to control.”

“Whoever has the control, has the power.”

Image: Falling Into Darkness by rackelstar

Who has the control and thus the power in your life? When we fall into an abyss, how do we get out? A few self-helps…
  • Exercise 30 minutes per day
  • Sleep 7-9 hours per night
  • Eat a healthy diet high in fiber and low in fats, choose slow-burning complex carbohydrates, eat omega-3 fatty acids (like salmon and herring), increase B vitamins and chromium, and don’t skip meals
  • Socialize more with family and friends
  • Reduce your stress
  • Listen to your self-talk and dwell on the positives instead of the negatives
  • If you are light sensitive, ensure you get plenty of light each day
  • Read self-help books
  • Start or work on a hobby
  • Volunteer your time and energy to help others
  • Seek medical attention and/or counseling

Someone a while back read my blog and hit upon a posting that wasn’t “uplifting” and said,”I’m so glad you wrote this because I’ve been thinking you lived a perfect life and never had any struggles.” I stared at his comment for a while and wondered if I did sound “out of touch with reality” as he put it. So that you don’t think I live in la-la land, life has not and is not always “golden” for me. I have fallen into the abyss several times. I guess that is why I can relate so well with the character in “The Never Ending Story.” I know that attitude is half the battle. If you can’t convince yourself that “it is going to get better” then there is no way that anyone else can make you believe it.

“Through humor, you can soften some
of the worst blows that life delivers.
And once you find laughter,
no matter how painful
your situation might be,

you can survive it.”

~Bill Cosby~

I’m not a laughy, laughy, smiley, smiley person. I’m reserved and most of the time keep to myself which means I’m not a party girl. I find my home to be a haven where I can be me without fear of ridicule because when I am among “others” I tend to be self-conscious and self-deprecating. I know I shouldn’t compare myself to other people, but I just can’t help it. My thoughts go something like…”Oh my, she is so beautiful. I wish I had her tan. I’m so freakin’ pale…He is so smart. No wonder everyone finds him interesting. I wish I had gone to college longer….She speaks three languages. I barely can write one….” You see what I mean? However, I find freedom in writing and the person deep within me becomes uninhibited and comes out. The writer is who I want to be all the time “without” having to fake it in public. One-on-one I am fantastic…LOL…but throw me in with a bunch of people and I put on the fake confidence and smile until I can relax and talk myself into being okay. It gets me through the situation and honestly, no one can tell that I’m faking it. Sounds silly. I think part of this “everyone is looking at me because I am so stupid and ugly” attitude is that I have low self-esteem and the other part is that when I had orange hair, everyone was looking at me! It kind of set the pattern for my behavior. Click here and you will see…

Strange that no matter what the facts are in your head, the self-talk can ruin it for you because it is so powerful and that is why I wrote in an earlier post to talk to yourself in the mirror. You have to convince yourself first of your value and worth before you can progress. Not bragging, but I am not a stupid person, however, I have to tell myself all the time that “I am not stupid.” Really, how stupid is that? I’m sure that I’m not the only one with this problem because as much as we sometimes hate to admit it, women as a whole have this problem. We can talk ourselves completely into the ground without anyone else’s help. It is the same with The Nothing. We need to be vigilant at seeing the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. Our hopes and dreams depend on us. Dream big with high hopes. MAKE yourself believe it. You are in control of YOU and therefore, you are in control of your future.

“What seems to us as bitter trials
are often blessings in disguise”

~ Oscar Wilde~

Sources include:
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

This post was written by...

Sherry Riter is also known as The Redhead Riter. Sherry is witty, intelligent and addictive as she writes about cooking, family, marriage, failures, blogging tips, art, humor, inspiration, travel, PTSD and aging. Her goal is to inspire, motivate, educate and to make her audience laugh. Sherry embraces being a redhead and helps others to see the redhead point of view…"In some eras redheads were worshipped while others thought us witches. Personally, I like the former and think every day is 'Love a redhead day!'" She can also be found on Facebook, Google+, Pinterest, StumbleUpon, Linkedin, tweeting as @TheRedheadRiter and you can subscribe to her free blog feed.

{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Helene October 4, 2009 at 4:08 am

How funny that at the beginning you mentioned looking at other people as they're driving and wondering about their lives. I find myself doing that all the time. Sometimes while sitting at a traffic light, I'll look over at the person in the car next to me and think "I never even knew she existed until right now….". Weird, I guess.

I find myself doing the same thing in a group of people. I wonder if they'll find me interesting enough, funny enough, pretty enough…I tend to compare myself to others a lot as well. Sometimes when I look in the mirror, I really wish I could see what other people see.


2 Mesina October 4, 2009 at 9:39 am

What a great post. I love the movie the Neverending Story, it was one of my childhood favorites and I bought it for my children who love it too. It was a powerful film, with a great message.

You made some really valid points here and I think most of us can relate to this one! Well written x


3 Oh Sew Good October 4, 2009 at 10:32 am

Yes and probably those in the same room with you are thinking much about the same thing with themselves. Why do we do that anyway? I enjoy it immensely when people feel like they can be themselves around me though.


4 Tammy Howard October 4, 2009 at 11:58 am

I loved the opening, too. I wonder about people and their stories all the time and am constantly amazed that we all have them. So many stories.

I am always afraid – when I'm with a group – that someone will see through my facade and expose me.


5 Opus #6 October 4, 2009 at 2:01 pm

Really excellent, deep post, Redhead. Thank you for this. We all need reminding to stay on track.


6 October 4, 2009 at 2:22 pm

Your list sounds so easy and simple, but I wonder how many of us even do half of them?


7 ComfyMom~Stacey October 4, 2009 at 2:37 pm

I love the quotes and photos you chose to go with this post. I'm a big believer that others see what you think about yourself – you create your reality. If you want people to think you are a smart, attractive, fun person, you have to believe it yourself – or at least talk yourself into acting that way. Act that way long enough, then it becomes reality


8 The Cottage Cheese October 4, 2009 at 2:37 pm

Great post! The Neverending Story is such a great social commentary. Thanks for leaving a comment on my blog, so I could find yours. Beautiful!


9 The Cottage Cheese October 4, 2009 at 2:38 pm

Great post! The Neverending Story is such a great social commentary. Thanks for leaving a comment on my blog, so I could find yours. Beautiful!


10 S.E. Sward October 4, 2009 at 3:50 pm

Oh, man, guess I'm the weirdo here 'cuz I just found Neverending Story creepy … *cringe*

Great list, but 'reduce stress' is canceled out by 'spending more time with family' for me (if we're talking extended family, and not the little family I've built with Darling Husband and Darling Daughter), lol.

Tried to 'click here' so I could see, but there was no active link … 🙁

I'm up for adoption if you feel like having another daughter … I could've used a mom like you instead of the one I got!


11 Judy Harper October 4, 2009 at 4:00 pm

Yes, if you've ever been in "The Nothing", attitude is so important. I wonder what life would have been like without spending a large part of it looking for a way to be living without functioning on two levels. The outer world of smiling and making people think you're okay and then the subconscious world of wanting to run away, wanting to cry for no reason, wanting to go home lock the doors and stay there. Thanks for your blog.


12 Queenie Jeannie October 4, 2009 at 4:30 pm

Dead on post!!! Wonderful!


13 Under the Influence October 4, 2009 at 5:07 pm

A little off the topic, but not much – when I am driving and someone cuts me off or doesn't wait their turn at a 4 way stop, I calm myself by saying they are in a hurry to the hospital because their wife is giving birth or their child has been taken to the ER. It keeps me from road rage.


14 The Redhead Riter October 4, 2009 at 5:19 pm

oops! I fixed the "click here to see…"

If you visit my blog, this won't be a surprise, however, it is much larger than you are used to, so beware! LOL


15 Amy October 4, 2009 at 5:52 pm

I always think about different people. Like when am flying I wonder what people are doing. How they live if they are happy and so on. Hope is a powerful word to me. I used it when something hard happened in my life and it sure did help me. I had Hope and never gave up.


16 Scrappy Girl October 4, 2009 at 8:16 pm

I love reading your posts…they always make me think. I love to people watch and wonder what peoples lives are like. I think about all the drama they have in their life that goes on while I am oblivious to it. Things that are so big that their world can sometimes feel like it is caving in and yet here I sit oblivious to it.


17 Helen McGinn October 4, 2009 at 10:30 pm

I had a similar comment once and thought it bizarre that it sounded like my life was 'perfect'; it's a good life but I have good days, bad days and days when I act like an arse, just like everyone else. :O)

Love this post, thank you. x


18 Yaya October 5, 2009 at 12:14 am

I love bloggers that are real. The good and bad, that's real life. I've definitely been in the abyss, but I've also been so full of hope that I'm bursting with happiness. You're right, we all have our own lives that are in some way similar. We all have our own story.


19 Lauren October 5, 2009 at 3:00 am

You are always so poignant and thought provoking. Great post. I'm trying desperately to get and stay on track these days, thanks for the little reminder.

You have some awards waiting for you over at my blog. 🙂


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