It wasn’t too long ago that I read this quote for the first time…
“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.” ~ Friedrich Nietzsche ~
Friendships are quite important and obviously remaining friends in a marriage is of utmost importance. It is crucial that the husband and wife are best friends who share a marriage based on honesty, respect, loyalty, communication and love. Thinking back to my failed relationships, I can see how we stopped being best friends and it caused a huge wedge which eventually was part of the reason that our partnership ended.
Even though your spouse is your best friend, you also need someone of your own gender to be your best friend too. According to research, it is even more important for women to have another female friend than it is for a man to have a male friend. The friendships between the genders are dramatically different and anthropologists have determined that the main reason for the difference is that women share an intimacy in the relationship and men share an experience for camaraderie that isn’t based on intimacy.
“A friend is a gift you give yourself.” ~ Robert Louis Stevenson ~
22 Reasons, Why Is It Important To Have A Good Friend?
I’ve been a nerdy loner most of my life, but until a few years ago I had never experienced a relationship with a best friend like I now enjoy with Joan Oshatz. Since Joan lives in Hollywood, California, and I live in Richmond, Virginia, all I can say is thank goodness the telephone was invented! Distance does not hamper our friendship and we talk to each other at least every other day.
There are so many reasons that it is important to have a really good friend. Let me tell you some of them…
- A Good Friend Helps You Feel Less Lonely – Although there are billions of people on the planet, sometimes you can feel overwhelmed with loneliness. A good friend reflects life back to you and with all the things you have in common, being alone doesn’t feel as lonely.
- A Good Friend Listens Attentively – Even if you are boring or you’ve already told the story before, a good friend will listen attentively and give you feedback. Why do they listen attentively? They listen because they care and have a desire to hear what you’re saying. You’re never just noise to a good friend. They appreciate you taking the time to tell them whatever is on your mind.
- A Good Friend Reduces Stress – Being with or talking to a good friend can calm you down and reduce the stress you feel. By being able to bounce thoughts and ideas off them, you feel more peace about yourself and your place in the world.
- A Good Friend Improves Your Self-Confidence And Self-Esteem – Your number one fan is your best friend. They will tell you how great they think you are without holding back. They are able to point out your good points and help you feel better about yourself by boosting your confidence level. The friendship validates your existence and that alone is a self-esteem booster.
- A Good Friend Loves And Cares For You – You are important to a good friend and they value your friendship. A good friend loves and cares for you and isn’t shy about telling you exactly how they feel.
- A Good Friend Gives A New Perspective – Sometimes you can put on blinders and become narrow minded. However, it is easy to drop all your preconceived beliefs and look at everything from a new perspective when a good friend points you in that direction. Often it is from another’s eyes that you will actually be able to solve your greatest problems.
- A Good Friend Is Trustworthy – Being able to trust someone is a valuable gift and brings peace into your life. A good friend would never betray the trust you have in them.
- A Good Friend Provides A Reality Check – If you begin to act like a crazy person, a good friend will pull you back down to Earth in a heartbeat.
- A Good Friend Supports Your Dreams And Goals – No matter how big your dreams or how far away your goals, a good friend believes in you. They believe that you are wonderful and can accomplish anything you set your mind to doing. They are right there with you, supporting you in every way possible to attain your dreams and find success with your goals. They also find a way to steadily push you to accomplishing what they know you want to accomplish.
- A Good Friend Is Loyal – Just like a dog or an old slipper, a good friend will be loyal to you. They will defend you and tell everyone that you are the greatest without even blinking. If they have to, they will bite your enemies. Well, not really bite them, but they will defend you to the bitter end!
- A Good Friend Helps You Connect On A Deeper Level – Face it, life can get tough. A good friend is totally on your side and since you can be yourself with them, there is a deeper connection that goes beyond words. You are understood, valued and loved.
- A Good Friend Is Fun And You Laugh Often Together – Being with or talking to your good friend is fun and you both laugh often together. Not only do you laugh, but you laugh until your sides hurt and tears are pouring out of your eyes. Yes, having a good friend is a fun experience.
- A Good Friend Likes The Real You – You don’t have to have your makeup on, hair perfect or suck in your stomach when you’re with your best friend because they totally accept you, the real you. If you enjoy wearing long john pajamas or a dress that looks like a whole family will fit into it because you’re more comfortable that way, your true friend just doesn’t mind. They know what matters is on the inside and not all the superficial stuff on the outside.
- A Good Friend Respects Differences – You will have a lot of things that are totally the same as your best friend, but there may be issues or beliefs that are completely opposite as yours and that’s okay. A good friend respects the differences between you and it does not affect the friendship because you care sincerely for the person.
- A Good Friend Helps You Cope With Bad Times – Whether you are going through a divorce, job loss, health issues or trying to cope with a death, a good friend will be there for you during the bad times too. Even if they are just a shoulder to cry on, you can depend on their support through the tough times.
- A Good Friend Encourages Positive Change – A good friend doesn’t hold your bad traits against you, but they encourage you to make positive changes in your life like to quit smoking, stop drinking excessively, to incorporate exercise into your daily routine, eat healthy or simply to recognize the beauty in your life. A good friend is a positive addition to your life.
- A Good Friend Is Honest – A good friend will always give you an honest answer to the question, “Does this dress make me look fat?” Yes, a good friend is honest with you at all times and you can count on their honesty because it isn’t an attack to your character.
- A Good Friend Shares Life Lessons – A good friend helps you to grow whether in the knowledge of how to do something or in progressing inside as a person. They want to spare you pain and help you get ahead, so they share all they know about life.
- A Good Friend Is Always On Your Side – A good friend doesn’t have to agree with you on every issue, but they will stand with you through thick and thin, good times and bad, happy moments and the most sad or depressing moments in your life. Whether they think you are right or wrong, they still stand beside you.
- A Good Friend Can Relate – A good friend has experienced many of the same things as you have, so they can relate with how you feel about an issue or circumstance. They know what it feels like to have a broken heart, the sadness of the death of someone close or the excitement of a long awaited vacation. They have felt the same emotions and they know the path you are on and can totally relate with your journey.
- A Good Friend Increases Happiness – Having a good friend adds happiness to your life. A friendship is a positive relationship that adds great value to your life. A good friend doesn’t argue with you all the time, betray your trust, disrespects you or hurts you in any way.
- A Good Friend Improves Your Mental Health – It is true that a good friend improves your mental health because you feel understood, loved and not alone. Those feelings inspire peace in your life, within your soul and in your mind.
“A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.” ~ Elbert Hubbard ~
“Our chief want in life, is, someone who shall make us do what we can. This is the service of a friend. With him we are easily great.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~
“A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him, I may think aloud.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~
“We are all travelers in the wilderness of this world, and the best we can find in our travels is an honest friend.” ~ Robert Louis Stevenson ~
“It’s the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter.” ~ Marlene Dietrich ~
Marlene Dietrich said so much in the quote I just shared with you. It can be 4:00 in the morning, but if your heart is breaking or your happiness is overflowing, you don’t have to think twice before you pick up the phone to share it with your good friend. The time of day is irrelevant because your friendship is timeless and ageless.
All 22 reasons that it is important to have a good friend and all the characteristics of a good friendship is what I share with Joan. Although we live 3,000 miles away, she is always there for me and vice versa. We both feel great gratitude at having met each other and it has made us both better people.
A good friend always wants the best for you and your family. They would never intentionally hurt you and their friendship is a priceless gift. Joan has been a priceless gift in my life and I dearly love her and her talented son, Brandon Peters. Thank you both for loving me back.
“A friend who is far away is sometimes much nearer than one who is at hand.” ~ Gibran Khalil Gibran ~