Some of my earliest memories consist of envying blond girls with long hair that looked and moved like golden threads of silk. Of course, I didn’t have hair anything close to that description. My hair was a coarse, orange bouffant that wouldn’t move even if I stood in a hurricane with sustained 100 m.p.h. winds.
Thus, I envied.
Then my sister was born.
Yes, she had really thick, white blond threads of silky hair that grew to her waist and moved elegantly even as a child.
So I envied and tried to live a vicarious blond life.
Years passed and I had a daughter who, you guessed, had a head full of the most beautiful, silky blond hair. By now my sister’s hair had turned into a darker brown shade and I began to live once again as a blond through my daughter.
Alyssa bought a car a few weeks ago. Remember, she a a teenager and she is blond. Two very important facts.
This is our conversation today…
(My phone rings with “Jesus Take The Wheel” by Carrie Underwood as the tone which immediately lets me that the call is from Alyssa)
“Mom, I have a flat tire.”
“Oh no, where are you?” I asked worriedly.
“I’m in the school parking lot. When I came out, this other student who is a guy says, ‘Hey, did you know you have a flat tire?’ and when I looked, it was totally flat. He is changing it for me now with two of his friends,” she said without taking a breath.
“That’s nice of them,” I said while thinking that no one ever has offered to change my tire even when I was young! Another confirmation that being a cute, blond teenager has advantages.
“Mom, the guy said, ‘Do you have a spare tire?’ and I told him that my car was new to me and I didn’t have one. He said, ‘If this is a new car, you have a spare tire in the trunk’ and I told him that my trunk was empty!”
She stops to take a breath or maybe it was just a half of a breath.
“So he insists on seeing inside my trunk and when I opened it, I said, ‘See, it is empty.’ Then he reaches down and lifts this thing and there is a tire!!!! By now Mom, all three guys are laughing and poking fun of me.”
I started laughing so hard I couldn’t hold it in as she continued.
“Then he asked me if I had a crow bar and I told him I was a girl and I didn’t know what a crow bar was and didn’t carry tools. They just laughed at me and said they were sure I had one. So he looked around my trunk and found a crow bar and said, ‘This is a crow bar’ and just laughed and teased me.”
Laughing my head off, I said, “Alyssa, we have been in my car’s trunk hundreds of times and you have even watched my tire being changed so, what happened to all that knowledge?”
“Mo-om! I don’t know! Anyway, they were all three really cute!”
Then I really laughed!
Being a cute blond teenage girl definitely has advantages even if a blond moment strikes.
Like I said, I always wanted to be blond!
Mom of a blond…in all respects!