Communication

Tips for effective interpersonal communication. Do men and women speak the same language? How is our style of speaking perceived by others? What can we do to be better understood? Communication and language is fascinating. A bunch of letters are put together into words and sentences to convey thoughts…Wow!

“Keep your words soft and tender
because tomorrow you may have to eat them.”
~Author Unknown~



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The emotional heart speaks a language that the mind can’t hear or understand.

Right?

Well, that’s what I used to believe and many people still do believe that to be the truth.

However, the mind and the heart are so integrally connected that it is almost shocking.

A very organic example of the mind heart connection would be the undeniable effect that depression has on heart disease. People who have had bouts of depression during their life are about two times more apt to develop cardiovascular disease even if there isn’t a history of heart problems. After all the research proving this connection, treating depression and talking about feelings isn’t top on the list of helpful treatments for heart patients. It is much easier to treat the mechanical workings of the heart than to explore the often vague and unknown reasons for depression.

The Brain Organ – The Mind

We all have a brain even though we all know people who act like they don’t have an ounce of smarts.

  • The center of the nervous system is the an organ known as the brain.
  • The brain is the most complex organ in the body.
  • The brain creates new brain connections every time you form a memory.
  • The brain is made up of about 75 percent water.
  • 60 percent of your brain is fat.
  • The brain is the organ that is associated with the mind.
  • The brain is made up of two kinds of cells: neurons and glial cells
  • There are approximately 100 billion neurons in the brain.
  • The brain produces enough electricity to power a small lightbulb when you’re awake.
  • If the brain is without oxygen for 5 – 10 minutes, permanent brain damage occurs.
  • Since the brain does not have any pain receptors, it can’t feel any pain.
  • The brain’s main function is to control the other organs of the body.
  • An adult human brain weighs about 1,300 – 1,400 grams or 3 pounds.
  • After 8-10 seconds of lost blood supply to the brain, the person will become unconscious.
  • The brain cells, structure and function is altered when you have excessive stress.

brain diagram parts labeled

The Heart Organ

We all have a heart. No, let me clarify. We all have a heart organ.

  • The heart is a hollow muscular organ.
  • The heart is composed mostly of cardiac muscle and connective tissue.
  • The heart pumps blood throughout the body via the blood vessels.
  • The heart is part of of the circulatory system.
  • The average heart pumps about 4.7-5.7 liters (litre) of blood per minute.
  • The female heart weighs approximately 9 to 11 ounces (250 to 300 grams)
  • The male heart weighs approximately 11 to 12 ounces (300 to 350 grams)
  • The heart is about the size of a fist.
  • The pericardium is double-walled sac that surrounds the heart to protect it and connect it to other parts of the body.
  • The heart has four chambers, two superior atria and two inferior ventricles.
  • When the heart stops pumping blood, the body dies.

heart diagram parts labeled

Love Who You Love

You may be thinking that the brain and the heart really don’t have that much to do with each other in terms of love. You already know that the heart sends signals and commands to the rest of the body which includes the heart. However, did you know that the heart sends a whole bunch more commands to the brain than the brain sends to the heart?

The brain is constantly rewiring itself throughout the day based on the things we do and the people with whom we associate. When we love someone and choose them as a companion, the brain is affected even more. It is often said that the two people become one. In a very literal sense, this statement is true. A person widens their scope of “me” to include the likes, dislikes, habits, actions, strengths, weaknesses, speech patterns and everything that makes up that other person. Then through touch, kissing and lovemaking, we are given physical cells of the other person which adds to our oneness and all of it is stored in our cell memories.

“He’s more myself than I am.
Whatever our souls are made of,
his and mine are the same.”
~ Emily Bronte ~

The person we choose as our mate actually alters our brain, heart and all the other organ systems in our own body. Obviously, love is a powerful emotion if it is sometimes the “boss” of the brain. The brain heart connection is so strong that by simply holding your partner’s hand, you can lower your blood pressure, reduce your stress level, improve your overall health and reduce the level that pain is felt.

The opposite effects are also true when your heart is “broken” by your companion. When your mate has hurt your feelings or leaves the relationship, your heart and brain are so connected that the effect is felt in every cell of the body. That is why when you have a broken heart, you feel pain all over your body, cry sometimes uncontrollably and feel highly stressed. The body remembers the safe or unsafe feelings in our past so when we are in a happy or unhappy relationship, our brain and heart health either thrives or becomes sick. Understanding this will also help you comprehend how someone could die of a broken heart.

The lesson I am gathering from this knowledge is that you should carefully choose the person you want to spend the rest of your life with and once chosen, you should love who you love with all that you have and do.

Hmmm…That sounded like the lyrics to a good country song. Actually they are some of the lyrics in a song by Rascal Flatts.

“Love Who You Love”

I should have stolen every moment
Now there’s a page with not enough on it
Where we belong
I guess I’ll never understand it
Why do we take it all for granted
Until it’s gone?
Cause then it’s gone

Love who you love
With all that you have
And don’t waste the time that flies so fast

Love who you love
And say that you do
Hold on as tight as they’ll let you
Love who you love

Give all ya’ got like it’s your last day
Your heart and soul before it’s too late
And pull’em in
So close enough that they can feel it
With every single breath that you’re breathin’
Breathe it in again and again

Don’t Waste The Time That Flies So Fast

I’ve written quite a bit about the importance of letting people know you love them all the time. Life is too short to hesitate or procrastinate telling the people you care for that you love them. Like the song says, time really does fly by so fast. Why waste all the opportunities to experience the happiness that a loving relationship can give each day? I personally can’t think of any good reason to pass up the chance to go places together, hold hands, kiss, cuddle, make love and talk to each other.

There are several reasons that I feel so strongly about showing affection often:

  • I’ve experienced two failed marriages with the accompanying pain of letting go. I don’t ever want to feel that much pain again.
  • Being a mother and wife have always been my top two desires in life. Nothing can touch the feeling of love experienced in those relationships when they are healthy.
  • I can be alone and have been much of my life. However, being with someone who loves me back, not only makes life more interesting, fun and happy, but it also makes me feel more fulfilled.
  • People can’t read my mind. If I want them to know I love them, I not only need to show it, but I also need to say “I love you” all the time.
  • I’m older and feel my mortality. No one knows how much time any of us have left to live and be together.

The Plan Of Action Going Forward

I feel that everyone should have the same plan of action going forward. In order to eliminate many of the regrets and unhappiness in your life, love who you love in words and deeds every single day. Don’t waste the time arguing or taking each other for granted. At any time and without any warning, your opportunity to express your feelings of love and experience the happiness in a relationship, could immediately end.

People who really love you can and will buoy you up in the bad times and help to make the happy times even happier. I hope you will find a greater depth of love as you make the extra effort to express your own love.

“Where there is love there is life.”
~ Mahatma Gandhi ~

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