Self-Development to Enhance Your Quality of Life

Self-development is just a fancy way of saying helping yourself to obtain an increased understanding of yourself. Many topics are included all for the same purpose: To help us all find happiness and peace in life.

“Be not afraid of growing slowly;
be afraid only of standing still.”

Chinese Proverb



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When Alyssa and Brittany were little girls, we spent a lot, a whole lot of time reading books. It was marvelous! One of their favorite books was written by Judith Viorst and entitled, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. The story starts like this…

“I went to sleep with gum in my mouth and now there’s gum in my hair and when I got out of bed this morning I tripped on the skateboard and by mistake I dropped my sweater in the sink while the water was running and I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.”

If you haven’t read the book yet, browse through the library and read it before you leave there. It is an excellent book to read whether you are six years old or ninety six years old because it will help you put TODAY into perspective.

This week has been tiring and emotionally draining for many reasons. Yesterday and today could be categorized as terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days.

But wait! Were the days really bad?

“The day’s not bad,
you’re bad in a great day.”
~ Author Unknown ~

Wow, that’s rather profound.

The “day” itself really isn’t bad. The bad part of the day is my attitude and feelings about the things that are happening during the day. MOST of the the things that I thought were making my day a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day were things that were not and still are not in my control. When we feel that we have no control over the things that are causing us unhappiness or pain, that’s when we view the day as bad.

The day is not bad.

You and I are feeling bad, unhappy, out of control in a good day.

Think about it…The weather may be sunny, warm, cloudy, cold, raining, snowing or windy. You may be at work, home, a friend’s house, shopping, in nature, driving or at a relative’s house. You may be alone, in a crowd, with a friend, with a group of friends, with your child(ren) or with the love of your life. It simply doesn’t matter what the conditions of the day are or who you are with that determines if it is a bad day. It really is your attitude and feelings about the day that make or break it.

When you’re having one of those terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days, stop and remember these three things:

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Top 3 Reasons It’s A Great Day

  1. You’re alive! – Okay, don’t roll your eyes. Being alive is no small thing. Think of how many people haven’t made it to your age. For instance, my Dad is already gone and he never saw his 70th birthday. As long as you are alive, you can change the situation you’re in that is causing you unhappiness. (Your Choice Is The Peaceful Light Or Chaotic Darkness)

    Changing the situation you’re in doesn’t necessarily mean that the choice will be easy or that your options will be desirable. The situation you currently find yourself miserable in may be threatening your sanity, health or even your life in which case it will be obvious that you should make the change. However…and this is a BIG however….only you can make the change. You ultimately have the choice to remain miserable. (The Path Can Be Happy, Sad, Exciting, Scary, But Always Your Choice)

  1. This too shall pass. – No matter how you feel right now, you know that the bad times will pass. They always have and they always will. Life is not a steady climb upwards in happiness. There are peaks and valleys of happiness and sadness, good times and bad times, easy experiences and rough experiences. Just focus on living today. If today is too overwhelming, focus on living this hour. I’ve seriously become a pro at focusing on a mere few minutes at a time or an hour at a time. It is the mind’s determination versus our personal fear of pain and/or unhappiness. (How Fast Things Change – What Kind Of Things Change Fast?)
  1. You can love and be loved. – Of course, I feel like this reason is really important. Love is the center of everything good. Love makes you feel wanted, needed, cared for, valuable, happy, excited, cherished and you can add a whole bunch more positive adjectives because there is a whole slew of them that are applicable. Love is wonderful.(I Would Rather Have One Breath Of Her Hair) because (The Heart Wants What The Heart Wants And Settling For The Good Stuff)

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Today Is A Great Day

Saturday I took a nap…a long nap because my brain has been making me overly exhausted. When the sun started shining through the big window in the living room, I was already sound asleep on the couch wrapped in my snugly quilt. I told myself that when I awoke, it was going to be a good day. I decided not to let anything destroy my personal peace. It didn’t matter if other people were sitting on the fence in their life, not looking at the facts as they planned for events in their future, or if they were just being plain selfish. No matter what happened, I was not going to allow anyone or anything to make me feel out of control, unhappy or depressed. It was going to be a good day.

When I woke up from my nap, I was a bit disoriented. What time was it? Didn’t I already get up and eat breakfast? Why was I asleep? Oh yeah! Then I remembered that I was simply taking a nap. Within five minutes of opening my eyes from the nap I had already allowed people and events in my life to destroy my peace.

Yes, I ALLOWED it and it all boiled down to the fact that I can’t control them. So as you are reading this post, don’t think to yourself, “How can Sherry be so together?”

I’m not always so together.

Seriously, today I was terrible, horrible, and reacted badly in a very good day.

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16 Key Points To Ponder

By pondering and then remembering the following key points, I feel that it would be much easier to have wonderful, fabulous, exceptional, very good days. All you have to do is firmly believe and know that:

  1. You and only you can control your thoughts and actions.
  2. Your thoughts will lead to your actions.
  3. Other people only have power over you if you give it to them.
  4. It is best to have high hopes and low expectations, otherwise you set yourself up for disappointment and failure.
  5. You need to take care of yourself because for the most part, other people are not thinking about you.
  6. You matter. You count. You deserve to be happy. These are not selfish thoughts.
  7. Whether you are forgiving others/yourself or other people are forgiving you, forgiveness empowers you to try harder.
  8. Love can heal all wounds.
  9. Happiness is a journey, not a destination.
  10. You need to only live today. Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow isn’t here yet.
  11. Honesty helps trust to grow.
  12. You can’t accomplish everything in one day.
  13. Some people are never going to treat you right and will always judge you harshly.
  14. A job and career is a way to make money. It is not the most important thing in life.
  15. Possessions can’t replace people.
  16. Most things take time to attain and that’s why patience is a virtue worth having as a character trait.

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As I’ve gotten older, when life has gotten really hard, I think about Helen Keller and Job from the Bible. I know that might sound like a strange combination, but it really has helped me not to throw myself a pity party.

Why do I choose those two people to think about when life isn’t going the way I want it to go? Well, Helen Keller was deaf AND blind. Job lost everything including the people he loved most in the world. Do you remember what happened to both of them?

Helen Keller became an author, world-famous speaker, political activist, and lecturer. She wrote 12 books and many articles. She was the first deaf and blind person to earn a bachelor of arts degree.

Job was a good and prosperous man who loved his family, but encountered many horrendous disasters that took away everything that he cared about including his children, health, and property. Later in life Job had his health restored, his original riches were double, and fathered ten more children.

So between Helen Keller’s disabilities and the fact that Job lost everything, I don’t think my life is really quite that hard. Actually, I have been very blessed and still am very blessed. I have a healthy body, roof over my head, food on the table, people that love me, and am here to live another phenomenal day full of opportunity.

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When you’re feeling that it is a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day, pull the reigns tightly on your thoughts. Get your mind under control and don’t let your emotions control your thoughts or actions. Dig down deep and let those feelings of gratitude bubble to the top. Tell yourself that it is NOT a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. Say it repeatedly until it soaks in all the way.

It is NOT a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

It is NOT a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

It is NOT a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

What kind of day is it?

Today is a great day.

Today is a great day.

Yes, today is a great day.

Not only is today a great day, it is a day filled with hope, happiness and love.

It is your choice.

So what kind of day is it for you?

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