“Things are not always what they seem; the first appearance deceives many; the intelligence of a few perceives what has been carefully hidden.” ~ Phaedrus ~
With Alyssa incapacitated for the past few days, she has been watching whole season’s of shows that have been airing. Most of them have reaffirmed the reason that I do not allow the television to absorb huge portions of the waking moments of my life.
One of the television series is filled with characters that are self-absorbed and lie all the time. I was working on the computer and listened to the shows. Occasionally I would take a minute and watch what was happening on the screen. There were beautiful women, handsome men, lovely homes and exotic locations, but there was so much deception that no one could enjoy the good things around them.
Another thing I noticed was that one character did not let on that she knew things that were happening behind her back. When people thought they “got one over” on her, she let them believe it. Through one show after the next in the series, I listened and watched this woman. I know that she was just a character in a show, but her character intrigued me. I have always let people think they have got one over on me, but I know exactly what they have done or are doing. In the end, the truth always comes out. I learned a long time ago that I do not have to parade the truth in order for it to be known.
Things are not always what they seem for two reasons. Either we are misjudging or there is deception.
“A lie that is half-truth is the darkest of all lies.” ~ Alfred Tennyson ~
At first glance out the big window in the living room, it appears that a whole bunch of critters live right outside the window. The critters include turtles, squirrels and frogs. However, upon closer inspection, it is quite obvious that the critters are not living, breathing creatures. The fake figures just give the illusion of a patio filled with nature and critters.
“Oh, what a tangled web we weave… when first we practice to deceive.” ~ Walter Scott ~
Unless a person is honest, the relationship will be fake.
That was blunt.
I feel very strongly about this issue, so let me share a little bit about me.
PTSD robbed me of many years. It left a huge hole in my heart and a scrambled brain. In order to heal and get rid of the devastation left in the aftermath of the horrible event, it was necessary to obtain counseling/therapy.
I had to be an active participant in the therapy AND I had to be completely honest. Lying to the therapist would not serve any purpose except to provide her with an hour of pay. I would remain emotionally crippled if I lied to her. A therapist can’t help if they do not know the full truth. The therapist-patient relationship HAS to be honest in order for therapy to be productive.
I told the truth.
I desperately wanted to be rid of PTSD.
Although I looked normal and healthy on the outside, PTSD had my insides all messed up. I faked being well. I faked my smiles. I faked living. Most people were oblivious to my faked happiness and internal struggle to cope with and overcome the devastating PTSD symptoms.
Things are not always what they seem.
Things are NEVER what they seem when you have PTSD.
I no longer have to fake mental health and wellness because I was honest. I was completely honest with my therapist. Now I am completely honest with everyone about my journey to be healed from PTSD. There is no shame in it. Instead, it is always a reason to celebrate.
The next time you are tempted to judge someone harshly or lie, stop and think about the alternative. Truth has a habit of always surfacing eventually, so just be honest from the beginning. Save yourself the hassle of keeping track of all your lies. Enjoy the freedom and peace that accompanies a person who is living an honest life. Besides, if someone loves the real you with all the ugly human things, then you can be sure that they really care for you.
What do I hope you take away from this post?
Lying and half-truths are not worth it in the long run.
Don’t judge people so harshly. Not only are you at a disadvantage because you don’t really know another person’s heart, but you could easily get it all wrong since things are not always what they seem.