Living With Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is a type of anxiety disorder brought on by trauma. Unfortunately, I have first hand experience and am still working my way through it all.

Helpful Links:
National Center for PTSD
National Institute of Mental Health

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Today I heard someone say something and at first I was a bit irritated, but then they kept talking.

Their first mistake was the words they said and the second mistake was that they continued to talk.

Everyone can be ignorant.

Wealthy people.

Poor people.

Skinny people.

Fat people.

Uneducated people.

Intelligent people.

PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) ignorance or the lack of knowledge and information about PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) abounds in all types of people.

The first rule of thumb when talking about something you’ve never experienced is to tread softly and listen more than you speak. The last thing you do is act like you have all the answers, remain close minded and ignorant.

When I…hmmm… I never know which word to use when I start that sentence… Was struck? Became afflicted with? Lost myself to? Was bombarded with? Became a victim of? Was robbed by?

I’m just going to pick one.

When I became a victim of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) I knew absolutely NOTHING about it. I didn’t ask for it. I didn’t do anything wrong to get it. I didn’t have a character flaw that made me merit it. I became afflicted with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) because I suffered beyond my point of being able to cope with the pain.

Does that make me weak? No.

Does that make me less than everyone else that won’t ever get PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)? No.

Does that make me a pro on the subject of how it feels to have PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)? Heck yeah!

I am not ignorant about PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).

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When I first was diagnosed with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), I was quite out of my mind. It is by the grace of God that I functioned as well as I did because I was very sick in my head. PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) takes over your intelligence, rational thought, emotional health, physical health, discernment, memory, control, hope, dreams and steals the peace, contentment and happiness from your life. It quite literally drains all the color from your life and leaves a mass of confusion in place of all character traits that made you, you.

It is hard to survive a “regular” day around “regular” people when you are no longer a “regular” person and most definitely not yourself. Nothing makes sense anymore even though you spend the whole day searching for your old self and clutching every small bit of normalcy you can find.

PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) leaves you confused, depressed, sad, lonely and overwhelmingly fearful.

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The inability to sleep, nightmares during the short time that you do sleep, the flashbacks while you’re awake, and the over active startle reflex alone are enough to drive a person mad. Add to that at least one hundred other symptoms and the fact that no one knows how to relate with you anymore and all you have is PTSD Hell.

I’ve been there.

At any point during my PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) healing and recovery I would have done just about anything to make the PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) symptoms go away.

I remember when I was in therapy with my first therapist that some people kept telling me to go get medication because they were sure it would help me. They pressured me until I went to a psychiatrist. He listened to everything I had to say and like my therapist told me that he had never known anyone who had a continuous one minute flashback loop. He couldn’t help me and no medication that he could prescribe would help me either. Basically, he wished me luck and sent me on my way.

No one was happy that I left the office without a prescription for drugs. They wanted a quick fix because they either didn’t understand PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and/or didn’t believe it was that bad.

It wasn’t long after that I fired my first therapist and found another one.

The second therapist told me all the things that people did to try and “cure” PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), but that all those things would not work. As a matter of fact, some things like drinking alcohol would hamper my healing and suicide would get rid of not only my PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), but also me.

However, if the therapist had told me that getting drunk each night would cure me of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), I would have drank continually. If the psychiatrist had told me that shooting heroin each day would heal me, I would have stuck myself with a needle so fast that the world would have tilted on its axis. That’s not how PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) is cured. For some people, some drugs (marijuana being one of them), can alleviate the PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) symptoms enough that they can cope with life and concentrate on healing easier.

It was a long road that I traveled in order to heal my PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) without the assistance of drugs or being able to stay home. I had to do all kinds of things in order to make the healing possible while living enough of a productive life that I worked at a high stress job each day to pay the bills.

PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) can only be eliminated, tempered, controlled or healed if you put forth a great deal of work and obtain fantastic therapy.

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This past weekend I went to see the movie, “Still Alice” about a woman with Alzheimer’s Disease. There were several parts in the movie that pushed me to the edge of emotional pain because she was suffering symptoms that were EXACTLY like the PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) symptoms I suffered.

At one point of the movie I actually thought I was going to have to leave the theater because I almost couldn’t control my sob. Obviously, I was totally into the movie. I stayed and watched the whole movie and I’m glad I did because it was very well done. People need to watch the movie to help them learn about Alzheimer’s, but like PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), most people won’t ever see it in order to learn more.

PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) is harder to heal because society is ignorant and fearful of things they do not understand. They either ignore, condemn or give ignorant advice to the PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) sufferer.

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Because my anger was out of control during that time, I spoke whatever thought popped into my head. When someone said something ignorant or condemning to me, I basically told them to go to Hell. It’s not because I’m a bad person, but I was inhabited by the PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) monster and it controlled me.

Obviously I didn’t give up on my quest for mental health and to eradicate PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) from my life.

PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) can be healed even in the midst of an ignorance that pervades the masses.

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If you want to reclaim your life and sanity, you do not have to live with the horrendous symptoms of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). It requires a 100 percent commitment by you to do whatever it takes to heal regardless of the actions or opinions of everyone else. You must also be willing to suffer more pain, but it is the kind of pain that is required to get rid of the bigger pain in your current life with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).

If you now suffer with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), eliminating it from your life is possible.

If you now suffer with ignorance about PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), educating yourself about it is possible.

Both start with a desire and then a lot of work.

I am a PTSD survivor. Get the facts about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and don’t remain ignorant.

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