Welcome to “Tell The Truth Thursday” where the question that has been posted in my right side bar gets answered by me and you! Did you prepare your post and are you ready to drop your URL into the McLinky so that we all can follow? I hope so!
The question this week has several parts around a main theme:
- Is there anything anyone could have told you that would have made your first sexual experience better? Do you think you would be better off if you had waited longer to have sex? If you had started earlier? Was sex what you imagined it to be?
I’ve talked to my daughter many times about this subject and not only the questions mentioned above, but other questions around this topic. Actually, I am more comfortable talking about sex with my child than I ever thought I would be as a mother. These Tell The Truth Thursday questions will help to put some of what I have expressed to her in writing in hopes that it willl be helpful to not only her, but maybe my grandchildren and their children some day.
I was twenty-one when I married Alyssa’s father and our wedding night was the first sexual experience for both of us, so obviously we waited. I don’t regret waiting at all because as I see it, what did I miss?
- Boys talking behind my back in the locker room.
- Diseases and/or viruses.
- Teen pregnancy.
- Emotional attachment heightened by sexual intimacy which upon “breaking up” would cause an even greater pain because of the close physical bonding.
- Picking out the wrong person to be with because I let my lustful body think instead of my intellect.
I read lots of books about sex right before I got married (I guess that proves I’m a nerd), and I had read romance novels for years and years. I had an expectation of what the experience would be like and because I hadn’t ever had sex before, I wasn’t disappointed. How could I be disappointed when everything was new and exciting? We were both dumb or I should say inexperienced, so we didn’t know anything one way or another and we learned together. I also didn’t have to wonder if he was comparing me to anyone else in his head because there hadn’t been anyone else for him either. That gave me a peaceful feeling of freedom. I feel it also contributed to our ability to relax and enjoy love in the relationship and our physical lovemaking.
I wanted to be a “virtuous woman” that had only been with my husband. That makes me “old fashioned” in today’s morals, but old fashioned is sometimes better. Choosing a companion and spouse is hard enough without trying to ignore the physical attachment we begin to feel the moment we have sex. I believe that waiting is worth it.
I also believe that love and sex should go hand-in-hand. I was taught abstinence before marriage just like many other people of various religious backgrounds. I still believe that couples should wait. Does it always happen? No. Do I think everyone who has sex before they are married is going straight to Hell? No-o-o-o-o, of course not. I just believe that if a person can practice that much self-control before marriage, their commitment is easier to believe and there is less to worry about after they tie the knot.
- A man and a woman, who have never met before, find themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.
Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, the two are tired and fall asleep quickly – he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.
At 1:00 AM, he leans over and gently wakes the woman saying, “Ma’am, I’m sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I’m awfully cold.”
“I have a better idea,” she replies. “Just for tonight, let’s pretend that we’re married.”
“Wow! That’s a great idea!!” he exclaims.
“Good,” she replies. “Get your own blanket!”
Of course, there’s a whole lot more in a marriage than just sex, but we can talk about that later!
So what are your answers to the Tell The Truth Thursday questions and your thoughts on the subject of “shhhhh” sex?