I write and I share.
Sometimes I write and I don’t share.
Today, I write and I share a part of me that I normally don’t make public. I’m thinking about including this poem in my book because it shows that I am more whole now than I’ve ever been and although I still have missing parts that are not fully developed, I did win the fight.
I Am Not – I Am Not My Depressed Or Broken Heart
by Sherry Riter
I am not my depressed or broken heart.
I am not the tears I cried because of the loss of childhood dreams that did not come true or fairy tale endings that didn’t happen.
I am not the disorder that tried to end my existence which I fought against and arose wounded, but victorious.
I am not the grief that broke my heart, caused me to lose an incredible amount of weight almost to my own demise or shattered my world in such a way that I had to start all over again.
I am not the naive woman who believes all the lies, false pretenses or fake emotions shown to me by selfish people who simply try to use me for their own purposes.
I am not the things you see.
I am much more.
I am the loving, sleep deprived, scared mother that cradled sick children in the wee hours of the morning without complaining.
I am the forgiving soul who works daily to let go of justified anger against people who are so selfish that they willingly cause me sadness and pain.
I am the compassionate woman that allowed my soul to become vulnerable to other people’s unhappiness and their struggles so that I could offer them comfort during their storms.
I am the strength, determination and perseverance that fills my scarred heart.
I am my hopeful and loving heart that will not give up my dreams.
When I’m gone and you can’t see me anymore, I am the soft wind that blows your hair away from your face like my gentle hand that once relished every moment I was able to touch you and enjoy your love for me.
I am the smell of gardenias that waft through the open window on the summer evening that surround you with feelings of home, peace and safety.
I am the taste of pancakes, sop chocolate and bacon on quiet mornings that satisfy your hunger the way I tried to provide for your needs.
I am the song on the radio while you drive to work that makes you remember how I mess up so many words while singing with a voice that definitely couldn’t win a contest.
I am the bright sunshine that warms your body like the blanket that I pulled up to cover you when the night grew cold or the warmth of my loving hug when you needed to ward away that lonely feeling.
I am the frothy lapping waves on the beach or the snow falling in the mountains that brings a smile to your lips when you see them because you remember that I never tired at experiencing their beauty, tranquility and peace.
No, I am not my depressed or broken heart. Those emotions are only temporary and I am so much more.
I am the woman that lived, laughed and will love you forever.
So what do you think? In the book or not in the book?