Humorous Spelling And Grammar Without AutoCorrect

by Sherry Riter in Family,Humor,Mom

Mom 70 beautiful woman white hair silky pajams big smile 2014-01-26

My mother is not only VERY beautiful, but she is extremely talented in so many ways. But if the fact that she can’t spell worth a hill of beans has eluded you, let me tell you now that spelling just isn’t a big deal to her. Since Mom is now seventy years old, I can pretty much guarantee that correct spelling will never be a priority in her life. As crazy as it has driven me f.o.r.e.v.e.r., it has also brought us both a lot of laughs.

As I write this post with my mother’s permission to share the latest and greatest spelling blunder, I just want you all to know that she is not offended by my laughing at her misspellings. Honestly, her misuse of words or spelling bombs has been great fun and we have often laughed until our sides hurt. We all have something that we totally stink at – Mom’s is spelling and mine is being a klutz. It is what it is!

The misspellings that Mom makes are not just on any one thing. Mom’s spelling is like our current day cell phone AutoCorrect nightmare. No word is safe no matter when or where it is written.

  • emails
  • grocery lists
  • lunch notes on napkins
  • cards
  • tags on packages
  • address labels
  • letters
  • recipes
  • blog comments
  • text messages
  • Facebook messages

Ah, yes, Facebook messages.

Today Mom wrote a message on her Facebook wall to all her friends and family that said:

“Pray your day will be happy and safe. Take time to love some one today, and don’t for get yourself.”

So I smiled because “someone” and “forget” are both one word instead of two divided at the syllables. I knew her response would be something along the lines of, “So? You understood what I meant, didn’t you?” I was just going to let it go because although it was a mistake, it really wasn’t very funny.

Mom went on to write a little more on her Facebook wall:

“Take care of the body God gave you and keep it from blimpish or things that would hurt it.”

Blimpish?

Definition of blimpish: pompously reactionary

Oh my goodness! Mom didn’t mean “blimpish.” She meant “blemish.”

Definition of blemish: to flaw the perfection of; spoil; tarnish

Suddenly I had a picture of the Good Year blimp in my head and I started laughing.

Think about it…

Mom told people to take care of their body to keep it from being pompously reactionary.

Or if we go with the Good Year blimp image that I couldn’t get out of my head, Mom didn’t want her family and friends to eat or drink anything that would make them look as big as a blimp.

I laughed and laughed and laughed.

Of course, I knew I had to tell Mom what she had done and I wrote her a little note and called her too.

I let her know that for the record, most of what I eat keeps me from being blimpish except for the ice cream that I’m unable to resist. ;)

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{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

Stéfan February 6, 2014 at 7:42 am

2nd sentence. You used allude (hint at) when you meant elude (escape from). That’s my own LOL. :-)

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Sherry Riter February 6, 2014 at 8:57 am

LOLOLOLOL Yes, that’s called writing my post at 2 a.m. and not rereading it. LOL Thank you! I will go fix it now :D

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Stéfan February 6, 2014 at 9:10 am

I really hope I don’t come across as the spelling police because I flirt with Miss Steaks all the time. Sometimes, she has me in handcuffs and forces me to watch her write for me… “like rite naow. Sherry, don’t you think Stéfan looks good in handcoughs?”

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Sherry Riter February 6, 2014 at 9:14 am

LMBO!!!!!!!!!!!

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Stéfan February 6, 2014 at 9:11 am

Am I too much?

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Sherry Riter February 6, 2014 at 9:17 am

You are too funny! That made me laugh. I love the “Miss Steaks” part. LOL

Seriously, though, ANYTIME I blunder with spelling or grammar, feel free to point it out so that I can fix it. I totally appreciate it! So Officer Stefan, go for it! ;) That way you can put handcuffs on people instead of having them put on you! LOL

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Joan February 6, 2014 at 12:14 pm

Who cares if your mother can’t spell when she looks as beautiful as she does. I’m looking at her beautiful face, gorgeous silver hair and radiant smile, not to mention her perfect pearly white teeth and her expressive brown eyes. When you look as fantastic as your mother does the world doesn’t care if you can’t spell! :)

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Sherry Riter February 6, 2014 at 3:59 pm

LOLOLOL :P So true Joan!!! :D

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teresa vett February 6, 2014 at 2:02 pm

Well, well, now the world laughs with me! I never knew that before I died that my spelling would go across the world!!!! LOL Do I care? Nope! I can only be good at most things, not all things. It is not my personality profile to be a speller or mathematician. (You should have seen that word before spell check) I am and artist. I create, organize, and best of all I am a mom and Nanny. Aren’t you glad, Miss Sher, you did not inherit my gene of spelling? LOL Your child did. Although I have noticed she is quite good when she texts me. LOL Thank goodness!! Just wait when I am gone and you get to read volumes of my journals. How I wish I could see that!! LOL

Thank you Stefan, stay on her, {yes, I did not know what that thingy over the e was in your name so I just left it off. No biggie. We know who you are. :) )

If anyone is worried that she offends me, I can honestly say No. It is a part of me that I have dealt with for a life time. I used to carry a speller with me. Yes, Sherry bought it for my purse. Sometimes the speller did not know what to do to help me either!

At 9 years old Sherry balanced my checkbook too. I transposed letters and numbers, so I would be hours trying to balance my checkbook. She took about 15 mins and would be finished balancing the whole thing unless I really made a boo boo. Hmmmm

Have a great day! Love who you are and remember even our flaws make us who we are.

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Sherry Riter February 6, 2014 at 7:29 pm

:P Thanks for your nice comment, Mom.

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Jean February 6, 2014 at 9:50 pm

I imagine if she was in school today your mom would be tested for a learning disability. She’s learned to compensate and is a lovely person.

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Sherry Riter February 6, 2014 at 11:34 pm

LOL Thank you Jean! :)

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