The Truth About Throwing Stones At Me

by Sherry Riter in Lessons of Life,Love,Relationship,Self-Development  

throwing stones

I’m not going to get all religious on you, but I want to use a quote from the King James version of the Bible. In the New Testament, John 8:7 states:

“So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.”

Let’s start with the pivotal verb in this verse…cast. To cast means:

throw (something) forcefully in a specified direction.

So you might be thinking that this is all well and good, but what is the point?

The main thought here is that, “He that is without sin” or in other words, if you haven’t ever made a mistake, then YOU have the right to go ahead and throw your judgments at the people who have made mistakes.

Do you know any perfect people?

I don’t either.

So with all that being said, I want to tell you a few things about me and this blog.

  1. I have shared very personal and painful experiences and feelings with you in hopes that other people who are going through the same things won’t feel alone.
  2. I talk about my struggle and “cure” of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) because not enough is understood about this HORRIBLE affliction and since it is a “mental illness,” all kinds of shame is associated with it. I want to help people who suffer and educate those who do not suffer from PTSD.
  3. I do not want your pity.
  4. I do not “wallow” in all the sad experiences of my life because I want to be a victim. I have “dissected” many aspects of my life in order to understand why I have made the bad subconscious choices in my past so that I won’t make the same mistakes in my future. The only way to change one’s character is to have understanding. I share my struggles and eventually I share how I overcome or change the character traits that I don’t like about myself so that you can see it is possible. I hope you find it inspiring or motivational.
  5. I am not any better than you, but I’m also not beneath you either.
  6. I am not arrogant.
  7. I am frequently wrong.
  8. I never purposely do anything to hurt someone.
  9. I am not conniving.
  10. I hope for everyone’s happiness even for the evil people who stab me in the back.
  11. I am sensitive meaning that I have deep emotions especially when I love you.
  12. I am passionate about the things I enjoy doing and those things I believe.
  13. I work very hard and it makes me feel great.
  14. I do have a wide range of skills and am intelligent.
  15. I think that the most important thing we can learn on this planet is to truly love each other. Love is the center of everything. If you love someone, you will not be selfish, unkind, mean, abusive or a whole list of other things. Instead, if you love someone, really love them, you want them happy and you give the best of yourself. You are thoughtful, trustworthy, forgiving, patient, and all those good traits.

In conclusion, I’m a human being living on the same planet as you. I make mistakes, have regrets, cry when my feelings are hurt, laugh when I’m happy and am filled with fear when I can’t see through the darkness. I think that makes me a lot like you. I try really hard to do the right thing and make the right choices because I don’t like to suffer consequences. That’s just me.

You’re not going to see me throwing stones at you. I recognize that you have freedom of choice and if you make not so good choices, I will be sad that you have to suffer the consequences. I don’t want to control anyone. All the times I was being controlling was because I wanted to save you pain, save me pain or I wanted to be loved. I have since learned that I can only control myself. If you aren’t going to spend time with me, honor, respect or love me, then I have to just accept it and live my life without you.

Unfortunately for me, I have often crossed paths with people who while in the guise of loving me, really just used me, took me for granted, led a secret life with other women behind my back, were selfish or basically abused me. Thanks to therapy, the process that some people think is unnecessary or ridiculous, I now understand why I have allowed people who have brought unhappiness to remain in my life for so long. Finally I have understanding. Remember, that is the first step in making a change.

On Saturday I attended a funeral. Although I didn’t know the lady who had passed, the preacher’s message of living a good life filled with love pierced my soul. I have no hidden agenda in my relationships with anyone. I shouldn’t ever have to beg anyone to be kind, considerate, thoughtful, faithful or affectionate. I am rather simple…I love and want to be loved back. I actually deserve to be sincerely loved even though I am not perfect.

So if you don’t want to love me, don’t do it.

If you want to love me, show it at all times whether I’m physically with you or not.

Last, but not least…If you want to pick me apart or just cast stones….just stop.

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This post was written by...

Sherry Riter, also known as The Redhead Riter. Sherry is witty, intelligent and addictive as she writes about cooking, family, marriage, failures, blogging tips, art, humor, inspiration, travel, PTSD and aging. Her goal is to inspire, motivate, educate and to make her audience laugh. Sherry embraces being a redhead and helps others to see the redhead point of view…"In some eras redheads were worshipped while others thought us witches. Personally, I like the former and think every day is 'Love a redhead day!'" She can also be found on Facebook, Google+, Pinterest, StumbleUpon, Linkedin, tweeting as @TheRedheadRiter and you can subscribe to her free blog feed.

{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

1 kathy pease January 19, 2014 at 2:32 am

Well said lady :)

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2 Sherry Riter January 20, 2014 at 1:10 am

Thank you.

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3 Audrey January 19, 2014 at 6:58 am

Ouch. I love you in spite of everything, because you are my sister. I’m no better than you or anyone else. I don’t care how imperfect you are. Everyone has flaws and they also have admirable qualities. I hope that whoever is giving you grief does stop and if they don’t…cut them out of your life, cut, cut, cut. If you ever need to talk you know my phone number, just pick up the phone and dial. I love you.
Aud

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4 Sherry Riter January 20, 2014 at 1:11 am

Thank you Audrey. I love you too.

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5 meg January 19, 2014 at 7:05 am

Hey Red, I used to tell my sons that there was only one perfect person & he wasn’t standing in front of me now. (He’s everywhere).
So anyhow I had an abnormal mammo & have now joined the pink ribbon club.Lots of docs visits coming. MRI on tuesday. I didn’t want to put it on FB. Smiles to ya.Meg

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6 Sherry Riter January 20, 2014 at 1:12 am

Thank you Meg. I’m so sorry about your mammogram. {{{hugsss}}} My prayers will be with you.

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7 meg January 19, 2014 at 6:29 pm

Hey Red, Where do you find these artists?

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8 Sherry Riter January 20, 2014 at 1:13 am

Which artists?

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9 Colleen Ann Guest January 19, 2014 at 9:11 pm

I LOVE you and this blog! Thank you for baring your soul! Your witty style of communicating such painful and personal struggles is inspiring to me!

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10 Sherry Riter January 20, 2014 at 1:14 am

Thank you Colleen. {{{hugsss}}}

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11 Robert Johnson January 19, 2014 at 10:42 pm

I am astounded that anyone would purposely be mean to you. You are a remarkable writer and I thoroughly enjoy your blog posts, although I rarely comment. Blogs are by nature ‘soul baring’ and I appreciate your trust in your readers to treat you well. My music (and music promotion) for me is my therapy. Music too is a very private matter. What music does for me cannot be dictated by someone else. Please keep up your wonderful work.

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12 Sherry Riter January 20, 2014 at 1:14 am

Thank you very much Robert.

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