Things Are Not Always What They Seem

by Sherry Riter in Choice,Lessons of Life,PTSD,Self-Development  

“Things are not always what they seem;
the first appearance deceives many;
the intelligence of a few
perceives what has been carefully hidden.”
~ Phaedrus ~

turtle on log

With Alyssa incapacitated for the past few days, she has been watching whole season’s of shows that have been airing. Most of them have reaffirmed the reason that I do not allow the television to absorb huge portions of the waking moments of my life.

One of the television series is filled with characters that are self-absorbed and lie all the time. I was working on the computer and listened to the shows. Occasionally I would take a minute and watch what was happening on the screen. There were beautiful women, handsome men, lovely homes and exotic locations, but there was so much deception that no one could enjoy the good things around them.

Another thing I noticed was that one character did not let on that she knew things that were happening behind her back. When people thought they “got one over” on her, she let them believe it. Through one show after the next in the series, I listened and watched this woman. I know that she was just a character in a show, but her character intrigued me. I have always let people think they have got one over on me, but I know exactly what they have done or are doing. In the end, the truth always comes out. I learned a long time ago that I do not have to parade the truth in order for it to be known.

Things are not always what they seem for two reasons. Either we are misjudging or there is deception.

turtles on log

“A lie that is half-truth
is the darkest of all lies.”
~ Alfred Tennyson ~

gray white squirrel

At first glance out the big window in the living room, it appears that a whole bunch of critters live right outside the window. The critters include turtles, squirrels and frogs. However, upon closer inspection, it is quite obvious that the critters are not living, breathing creatures. The fake figures just give the illusion of a patio filled with nature and critters.

squirrel yellow leaves tree

“Oh, what a tangled web we weave…
when first we practice to deceive.”
~ Walter Scott ~

brown moose in grass

Unless a person is honest, the relationship will be fake.

That was blunt.

I feel very strongly about this issue, so let me share a little bit about me.

PTSD robbed me of many years. It left a huge hole in my heart and a scrambled brain. In order to heal and get rid of the devastation left in the aftermath of the horrible event, it was necessary to obtain counseling/therapy.

I had to be an active participant in the therapy AND I had to be completely honest. Lying to the therapist would not serve any purpose except to provide her with an hour of pay. I would remain emotionally crippled if I lied to her. A therapist can’t help if they do not know the full truth. The therapist-patient relationship HAS to be honest in order for therapy to be productive.

I told the truth.

I desperately wanted to be rid of PTSD.

Although I looked normal and healthy on the outside, PTSD had my insides all messed up. I faked being well. I faked my smiles. I faked living. Most people were oblivious to my faked happiness and internal struggle to cope with and overcome the devastating PTSD symptoms.

Things are not always what they seem.

Things are NEVER what they seem when you have PTSD.

I no longer have to fake mental health and wellness because I was honest. I was completely honest with my therapist. Now I am completely honest with everyone about my journey to be healed from PTSD. There is no shame in it. Instead, it is always a reason to celebrate.

brown moose bell in grass

The next time you are tempted to judge someone harshly or lie, stop and think about the alternative. Truth has a habit of always surfacing eventually, so just be honest from the beginning. Save yourself the hassle of keeping track of all your lies. Enjoy the freedom and peace that accompanies a person who is living an honest life. Besides, if someone loves the real you with all the ugly human things, then you can be sure that they really care for you.

What do I hope you take away from this post?

Lying and half-truths are not worth it in the long run.

Don’t judge people so harshly. Not only are you at a disadvantage because you don’t really know another person’s heart, but you could easily get it all wrong since things are not always what they seem.

This post was written by...

Sherry Riter is also known as The Redhead Riter. Sherry is witty, intelligent and addictive as she writes about cooking, family, marriage, failures, blogging tips, art, humor, inspiration, travel, PTSD and aging. Her goal is to inspire, motivate, educate and to make her audience laugh. Sherry embraces being a redhead and helps others to see the redhead point of view…"In some eras redheads were worshipped while others thought us witches. Personally, I like the former and think every day is 'Love a redhead day!'" She can also be found on Facebook, Google+, Pinterest, StumbleUpon, Linkedin, tweeting as @TheRedheadRiter and you can subscribe to her free blog feed.

{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

1 teresa vett December 5, 2013 at 12:22 pm

Well said , but your mama will tell you that you did not look normal or healthy,lol. You are now drop dead beautiful


2 Sherry Riter December 6, 2013 at 4:07 pm

LOL Thanks Mom. I didn’t think I looked normal or healthy either, but everyone else did. 😉


3 Star Traci December 5, 2013 at 2:52 pm

This is a wonderful post. My husband is currently getting help for PTSD that he incurred due to the Iraq war. It is important to stress that it is nothing of which to be ashamed.


4 Sherry Riter December 6, 2013 at 4:06 pm

Thank you so much. I’m glad your hubby is in therapy. It is the only way to beat PTSD. 🙂


5 J. Surmi December 6, 2013 at 10:56 pm

Sherry –

You are an amazing and courageous human being. Thank you for being here with us
on planet Earth now. Your presence and wonderful words of inspiration, hope,
insight and humor truly make it a better place to be for us all. Thank you for sharing
your insights and beautiful spirit with us. We are blessed! 🙂


6 Sherry Riter December 7, 2013 at 10:22 am

Thank you so much for your lovely comment. {{{{hugssss}}}


7 Julio December 7, 2013 at 9:49 pm

Another aspect of things not being as they appear is the misconception behind depression. Indeed, any mental illness is sometimes seen as an illness of choice. Unlike a physical injury or illness, which are perceived as ‘real’ problems, depression and other mental illnesses are to often considered not real illnesses.

It is hard for someone who has not dealt with a mental illness such as depression or PTSD to understand what we are going through. It is very hard for me to admit or share my problems with friends who find my behavior confusing. And so I have to put up appearances. And to many times things are not as they seem.


8 Sherry Riter December 19, 2013 at 10:59 pm

People who believe a mental illness is “an illness of choice” are simply ignorant. I don’t have a hard time when people don’t understanding UNTIL they either refuse to learn about it or insist that it is beyond the person’s control.

Thank you for sharing. {{{hugsss}}}


9 Create With Joy January 10, 2014 at 10:21 am

What a great article!
I am SO happy you are finally finding the freedom you deserve!
Happy Friendship Friday to you!


10 Sherry Riter January 13, 2014 at 2:50 am

Thank you! {{{{hugssss}}}


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