Have you ever reached out to hold their hand and it felt hollow? Maybe you wrote your goal on the calendar and each year it had to be transferred to the next calendar. Did you ever stare at the big moon hanging in the dark night sky and wonder if you’ll ever get out the mess that has become your life?
What Is Elusive?
The definition of “elusive” is:
elusive: evasive, slippery, difficult to find, catch or achieve
No two people perceive the same things to be elusive. At different times of my life, I have felt that things felt hopelessly elusive and it was extremely hard to shake the overwhelming feeling.
If you had asked me when I was thirty years old if I believed that my father would ever come back into my life AND that I would have forgiven him, my quick response would have been, “No way.” At that time, those events seemed like an elusive dream that bordered on an impossible hope.
Time changes everything one way or another.
Elusive Dreams, Elusive Love, Elusive Life
Sometimes we are the reason that the circumstances of our desires are elusive.
I know a woman who once fell in love with her married boss. They grabbed whatever moments together that were possible. He had a child and also didn’t want to end his marriage because his wife was sick. This woman loved him for a long time. He was an elusive love that created an elusive dream of an elusive life for the woman. Eventually the relationship ended and I can’t really remember why, but I think it was because his job moved him far away. I do remember, however, that this young woman pined her heart away and we all stopped mentioning the man. My point is that he was elusive because the whole relationship started with circumstances that set it up for failure. I don’t know about the boss man, but I do know that the woman started dating single men and is very happily married to one of them now.
So we have to take responsibility for our lives and choices. We can have a full happy life or we can throw a bunch of curves in it that really complicate things.
When I was suffering PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), I knew that the vast majority of people who also had PTSD tried to solve their problem with alcohol, drugs or they killed themselves. I knew those three options would not solve my problem and I stuck to my resolve to not give into them. It was very difficult to keep going on a healthy path. The easy way out constantly screamed at me to give up. At the time, good mental health seemed to be an elusive dream. “At the time” is the key phrase. As it turns out, I didn’t succumb to the poor choices and instead chose therapy, therapy, therapy. That choice snuffed out the elusive part of my dream.
Like I said earlier, sometimes we are the reason that the circumstances of our desires are elusive.
The Right Path, The Wrong Path And The Middle Path
There is definitely a wrong path in each person’s life. It is the path that we know will bring us unhappiness and wreck our dreams. It is the path where our dreams will forever remain elusive and so will the life we are envisioning with or without someone to love.
There’s also the middle path. The fence sitting path. The non-committed path. We know that eventually we will have to choose one way or the other, but we lack the courage and commitment to choose now. The sad part of being on the middle path is that it really is the wrong path too. It may be speckled with happiness, but the underlying tone is one of elusive dreams and elusive love that leads to an unhappy life. True joy and fulfillment remain elusive.
Of course, there is a right path. It feels right. It looks right. It brings about one right thing after the next. It isn’t necessarily the easiest path, but it is totally apparent that it is the path to our happiness. It is the path where dreams and love are not elusive and our life is filled with an abundance of goodness.
If we take the wrong path or if we remain on the middle path too long, we may miss out on the dreams, love and life that we would have acquired on the right path. Sometimes it is too late. Circumstances change. Even though the middle path fence sitter thinks that eventually he will get the thing that makes him happy, it is quite possible that he won’t ever attain his dream. He also may discover that the dream is better as a dream than a reality. By the time that happens, the opportunities on the right path will have passed him by thus turning into an impossible dream and quite possibly a huge regret. An example of this would be the woman who fell in love with her married boss, a woman who postponed getting pregnant until it was too late to conceive, or a man who didn’t realize the value of his wife until after they were divorced.
Purposely adding factors to strengthen the elusive factors in our life is detrimental to happiness. Be courageous. Choose wisely. Envision your dreams in life and be determined to have full joy and not snippets of happiness here and there. Stay focused, steadfast and committed to your success. Your dreams, love and life will only be elusive if you choose to have them be elusive. Only you can choose which path you’ll walk.