Rules of Life for Alyssa #1

by Sherry Riter in Rules of Life for Alyssa

I often write long posts, so I thought I would start a short post series created to make us all pause for a moment. Of course, what could be a better teaching moment for my daughter, so I named it after her…

redhead riter angel with wings

Rules of Life for Alyssa #1 – Perfection

Rule #1

You don’t have to be perfect.

Perfect people do not exist and no matter how hard you may try, you are not going to attain perfection.

I’ve always felt that I had to be perfect in order to be loved. Why would I feel such a crazy thing? Because when I fell short of other people’s expectations, I was shamed, told that I had caused disappointment and sometimes I was even shunned. Eventually I was carrying enough guilt and shame for all the disappointment I caused, that I felt I was unlovable. Do you see how this could create a really vicious cycle?

Save yourself a whole lot of heartbreak and don’t ever, ever, ever expect perfection from yourself or anyone else.

“Have no fear of perfection
– you’ll never reach it.”
~ Salvador Dalí ~

 

This post was written by...

Sherry Riter is also known as The Redhead Riter. Sherry is witty, intelligent and addictive as she writes about cooking, family, marriage, failures, blogging tips, art, humor, inspiration, travel, PTSD and aging. Her goal is to inspire, motivate, educate and to make her audience laugh. Sherry embraces being a redhead and helps others to see the redhead point of view…"In some eras redheads were worshipped while others thought us witches. Personally, I like the former and think every day is 'Love a redhead day!'" She can also be found on Facebook, Google+, Pinterest, StumbleUpon, Linkedin, tweeting as @TheRedheadRiter and you can subscribe to her free blog feed.



{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

1 teresa1944 April 12, 2013 at 1:07 am

LOL, I have to say it took a long time before I saw you with straight hair. Love it.

Sometimes we set our own standard so high and it is not others who shun us but ourselves. We walk around feeling guilty and think that we have disappointed others. The truth of it is they love us anyway and most of the time they do not give a second thought to us and our boo boos.

I have been disappointed in myself so many times and even as I sit here writing this comment, I can see a long list of boo boos. I try every day to be better. It was Jesus Christ who commanded us to become perfect as He is. Of course He knew we would blunder and trip ourselves and yes even indulge ourselves knowing we were wrong. That is why He “stands at the door and knocks”.

Live your life open and full. Be happy with what you choose. If you choose that which is secret and hide it from those who love you, then you may ask yourself why? The answer will be that the expectations you have set and lived are lacking and you know it. That is how it is with me. I am thankful every Sunday as I sit in the house of the Lord that there is a way to compensate for my mistakes, the unwilling ones and the willing ones.

LOVE the picture. Hope to see you on the week end. It would be nice.

Reply

2 Sherry Riter April 12, 2013 at 9:38 am

The picture: Yeah, the straight hair would be awesome! I dig the big feathery wings. LOL

“We walk around feeling guilty and think that we have disappointed others. The truth of it is they love us anyway…”: I know that is true, but many people have terrible habits of shaming and vocally sayings how disappointed they are at another person’s choices.

“I have been disappointed in myself…”: Yeah, me too. That is the worst kind of disappointment of all. Self-forgiveness is rough.

“If you choose that which is secret and hide it from those who love you, then you may ask yourself why? The answer will be that the expectations you have set and lived are lacking and you know it.”: I don’t know what you mean by this comment. I keep reading it to try and understand, but it eludes me. All I can make out of it is that if someone makes a choice, but doesn’t share it with people who love them, it is because they know that the people who love them won’t approve. Is that what you are saying? If so, then that is a wise thing not to share! Who wants to share with people who are going to harass you? It doesn’t matter if they love you or not – harassment is harassment. So “not telling” would be self-preservation. I think everyone does this and know you have also. Anyway, pahleeeez explain what you DID mean! LOL

“Hope to see you on the weekend…”: I have a very full weekend, but you are welcome to come over. I can talk and type at the same time. 😀

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3 Joan April 13, 2013 at 1:09 pm

Thank you, thank you, thank you for writing this post and reminding us that no one is perfect. Now I do not have to strain myself to come up with the perfect comment! 🙂

(It might interest you to know that it took me thirty seconds to write this comment now that I do not have to worry about being perfect. Well, actually one minute after I edited it! 🙂 )

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4 Sherry Riter April 13, 2013 at 10:44 pm

Wow! I’m impressed! I didn’t think that was a possibility for YOU! LOL

Reply

5 Joan April 13, 2013 at 1:30 pm

Ohhh, that quote by Salvador Dali is PERFECT, “Have no fear of perfection – you’ll never reach it.” That takes all the pressure off of striving for perfection when you know it doesn’t exist. 🙂

Reply

6 Sherry Riter April 13, 2013 at 10:44 pm

Yep. No more “perfection” pressure.

Reply

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