Our memories consist of the things we’ve learned and experienced. They make us who we are and affect how we act or feel. Without being able to remember the who, what, when and where throughout each day, we would be in a mess! All of our stored memories not only help us to function on a daily basis, they also direct our lives. We make choices based not only on the current circumstances, but also on the memories we have stored.
I went to see my therapist and shared my progress in this PTSD journey that I live with every day. I also told her that I was sad.
When there is a love lost, shattered dreams, pain suffered and our hopes are stalled, the memories all wrapped up in those things give us a legitimate reason to be sad. We need to process these emotions and memories in order to let them go into a place that we don’t have to think of them all the time or re-evaluate the emotions over and over. The memories won’t disappear, but the emotion packed in the memory will cease to control us when we deal with them properly.
So today, I’m dealing with my memories and I’m sad. It is only temporary, but it is part of the process of healing. While I’m sad, sorting through my memories and healing, these words floated into my head…
Light the corners of my mind
Misty watercolor memories
Of the way we were
Of the smiles we left behind
Smiles we gave to one another
For the way we were…”
Our memories can make us stronger, but if we let them overtake us by not facing or processing them, they can surely break us. There’s no shame in having to process painful memories and definitely no reason to apologize for being sad. It is a necessity and memories are the things that stand between me and my future happiness. After coming this far, I’m not about to stop now and that’s for sure.