Because I like to laugh and these jokes totally cracked me up, I’m very happy to share them with you today. As a warning, make sure that you are not eating or drinking anything while you read this post. I don’t want you to have to dial 9-1-1 because you start choking.
A doctor on his morning walk, noticed the old lady who was sitting on her front step smoking a cigar.
He walked up to her and said, “I couldn’t help but notice how happy you look! What is your secret?”
“I smoke two cigars a day,” she said. “Before I go to bed, I smoke a nice joint. Apart from that, I drink a whole bottle of Jack Daniels every week and eat only junk food. On weekends, I pop pills, have sex with lots of men and I don’t exercise at all.”
“That is absolutely amazing! How old are you?”
“Forty,” she replied.
I didn’t realize it, but these coupons are good for one gallon of gas at all gas stations. You probably have one or two just lying around somewhere. Now is the time to use them before they lose their value and it’s too late!
Take a good look at the coupon below…
Who Says Chivalry Is Dead?
A hooded armed robber bursts into the Bank of Italy and forces the tellers to load a sack full of cash. On his way out the door with the loot, one brave customer grabs the hood and pulls it off, revealing the robber’s face.
The robber shoots the guy dead without hesitation!
He then looks around the bank to see if anyone else has seen him. He sees one of the tellers looking straight at him; the robber walks over and calmly shoots him dead.
Everyone by now is very scared and looking down at the floor.
“Did anyone else see my face?” calls the robber.
There follows a tense minute of silence. Then an elderly Italian gentleman, looking down, tentatively raises his hand and says, “I tinka my wife caught a glimpse”