The Redhead Riter - Witty, Intelligent & Addictive: 12/1/11

Risky Slippers

It has become a tradition that on Christmas, Alyssa gives me slippers. This year was no exception.

The older she has become, the better she has been at choosing great slippers.

I remember Alyssa started out getting slippers that were nice, but really weren't "me" if you know what I mean. I could tell Alyssa had chosen the slippers she liked and not what she knew I would enjoy.

That was okay because it was truly the thought that mattered. It was wonderful knowing that she spent time thinking about me as she walked around the store searching for the perfect gift to express her love.

After she started working, Alyssa wanted to use her own money to buy the gift for me.

Last year she got me a pair of slippers that fit perfectly, covered my calf and have kept my feet warm all year. This year Alyssa still remembered that I like to have more of a boot slipper, but apparently she also wanted to have them be cute.

Since my nickname is "Moose," Alyssa purchased slippers that look like a moose's head.

I think they are really cute, however, they are probably two or three sizes too big for my foot. I don't really have BIG feet. I've only tried them on to take the photo tonight, but I'm thinking that if I wear them with the toes sticking out so far ahead of me, I may end up tripping.

At this point, I either need to keep the slippers and wear them even though they are too big or have her return them for a smaller size. Either way, I have to make a decision and I have to communicate it to Alyssa if I choose to have them exchanged.

Fate determines who walks into your life,
but you decide who you let walk out,
who you let stay and
who you refuse to let go."~Unknown

That quote is very profound.

People touch our lives every day. As soon as they enter our comfort zone, we make a decision to let them walk out or stay. That initial meeting is the first step in the relationship.

Once a person has been accepted into our life, several things happen...

We get to know their likes and dislikes, hopes and dreams, goals and failures, beliefs and nuances of their personality. Once again, we make a decision to let them walk out or stay.

If they stay in our life, eventually we begin to care about them. When the circumstances are right, it is possible that we might even fall in love with them. Even with all that emotion, we still have to make a decision to let them walk out or stay.

I know this scenario is sounding much simpler than it is in real life, but in a way, it is really just this simple. People are in our lives because we choose for them to share time with us. At any given point, we are continually making the decision to let them walk out or stay.

Most of the time, the subconscious is asking the question and answering it. We aren't even really totally aware that we are making a decision because we are just enjoying the relationship or are too miserable to do anything about it.

Sometimes the answer to the question can make or break us physically or emotionally. Have you ever begged someone to love you back? No? Well, if not, let me tell you that it isn't any fun. First of all, every shred of dignity you have is ripped away. Then there is the realization and total acceptance of the fact that the other person simply does not love you regardless of everything you have done in the past to prove your love for them. It doesn't matter how many years you were together or married, your efforts feel as if they were in vain. At that point, you will feel used. Memories of times spent together and sacrifices you've made in their behalf will flood your mind. Your self-esteem will hit an all time low. While you are begging for their love, you are also refusing to let go of the relationship.

During those times of unhappiness and turmoil, you may feel like you just don't have a choice. You can't imagine living without them even though you don't want to live with them. It definitely feels like you are stuck between a rock and a hard place. However, it all boils down to the same basic answer..Do you let them walk out or stay?

No one can answer the question for you.

No one can make the decision for you.

The people in your life are there because you have chosen them to be there with you. When someone adds value and happiness to your life, let them know it! Subconsciously you have made the decision to let them stay. However, if sadness is hovering over your head like a black rain cloud because someone is stealing your joy, make them walk out of your life.

It is that simple and that complicated.

Chuckle of The Day - 46 Interesting Adult Truths

I love fun and funny facts or truths.

I also love men. They are so different when compared to women.

No, really!

No, really! I'm being honest!

Men have so many unique qualities and attributes that make them interesting, perplexing and exciting.

So keep remembering what I've said as you read all about some adult truths. When you get to the last one that is about men - just smile.

{{{{hugssss}}}} to all the men! We DO love you!

46 Fun and Interesting Adult Truths

Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.
When you are young, someone always tries to steal your nose.
Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
Someone, somewhere will always be offended.
If a man goes on a seven-day trip, he’ll pack five days worth of clothes and will wear some things twice; if a woman goes on a seven-day trip she’ll pack 21 outfits because she doesn’t know what she’ll feel like wearing each day.
Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize that you’re wrong.
30 seconds after permanently deleting/throwing/burning it, you need it.
I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
90% of women wash their hands after using a public restroom; 75% of men do.
There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
There needs to be a chat emoticon that rolls it's eyes.
An average woman speaks about 7,000 words a day; an average man speaks about 2,000.
How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
Nothing is ever as simple as it first appears.
Was learning cursive really necessary?
The more you know, the more you realize how little you know.
When a woman dresses up to go out, she puts on a blouse first. Pants come second. Men work it vice versa.
Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
The more it hurts to learn something, the longer you will remember it.
Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
Women, no matter what size, are always going to be insecure about something on their body.
I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind-of tired.
There’s no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you’ve got your hand or head stuck in something.
Bad decisions make good stories.
You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection… again.
I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
You can't plan to be spontaneous.
I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
It's the small stuff that gets you in the end.
I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay.
Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Woman have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.
Those books you set aside to reread someday? You won’t read them.
I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.
Women will drive miles out of their way to avoid the possibility of getting lost using a shortcut.
I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
Your computer will always crash 1 second before you remember to save.
How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you didn’t hear a word they said?
Every time you drop a buttered slice of bread or toast, it will always hit the floor buttered side down.
I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
Shirts get dirty. Underwear get dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
Triangular cut sandwiches always taste better than square ones.
Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey ~ but I’d bet everyone can find the snooze button from 3 feet away in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
Things are always in the last place you put them and the last place you think to look.
The first testicular guard, the “Cup”, was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

Ladies, shhhhhh. You'll just make it worse.

People Shave and I Butcher

Years ago when I first started blogging, I wrote a post called Men Do Not Read This... and guess what? Of course, men read it, but I received a lot of great advice for my shaving dilemma from the women.

Actually, I have used that great advice for years now and it has helped to prevent razor rash on my sensitive, pale skin. It was much needed advice because I had already tried:

Nair
men's shaving cream
single blade, double blade, triple blade, quadruple blade
nick guard blade
soap
shaving with a lighter touch
not shaving as often
waxing at home
shaving in one direction

Although I have fair skin and rarely wear shorts, I still want everything to be silky smooth. I learned many things from that post like many women do not shave very often! I had no idea, so that was a real revelation! On the flip side, one of the great tips that I learned from that blog post of long ago, I immediately put into effect. The suggestion was to start using conditioner instead of shaving cream. Yep, it totally worked! I no longer got razor rash anywhere!!

Before I finish my "current" story, let me first tell you about the time I tried waxing at home. We had just moved to Virginia and I had made a bunch of changes in my life. I decided that I would try to save time by not having to shave every day. The best solution seemed to be waxing. I decided that since I can do anything, surely I could also wax my body at home.

After a visit to the nearest beauty supply, I got home with an armful of products. I was actually excited that I wouldn't have to shave for a month if everything went according to plan.

The first step was to melt the wax without getting it too hot. That wasn't too hard. Next, I can't remember exactly what it was, but I had to apply something to my skin so the wax wouldn't stick. It was really easy too. Then with a wooden stick, I had to smear the wax on the skin, cover it with the cloth strip, press slightly, wait a few seconds and then pull it off.

Sounds easy doesn't it?

The big question was where should I begin this waxing thing? Now a logical person would probably choose an ankle or calf, but that isn't the place I chose. Oh, no, no, no. I figured since I was going to do my entire leg, I would start at the top and go all the way down. I am a methodical person and that just made sense.

Yeah, go ahead and cringe now.

I slathered the wax on my leg at the bikini line. Well, actually I couldn't really call it my "leg" because it was a much more sensitive spot of skin than my leg. Anyway, it was time to pull the cloth and yank out the hair.

With the first small tug, I quit. It was too painful! What was I going to do now? I couldn't live with wax stuck there and I was too wimpy to yank it off! Why, oh why did I choose THAT spot to begin this new procedure?

Alyssa was only seven years old at the time and pretty much thought I had lost my mind. I begged her to yank the fabric off for me, but she had been watching and heard my initial scream. She looked at me with big brown eyes and asked, "Why do you always do this kind of stuff?"

That has been the story of my life...in one pickle and then onto the next just like Lucille Ball in "I Love Lucy".

Eventually...like two hours later, Alyssa agreed to help and finally yanked off the cloth, wax, part of my skin and pride with it. The only thing even close to correct in the directions on the box of wax was that I wouldn't need to shave for a month. I didn't need to shave because it took that long to grow skin again!

I told you to cringe!!! Looking back now it is a bit funny.

So what happened today?

I'm getting to it.

I did learn my lesson to not wax at home. I did not learn, however, that I should not use up and down motions, shave when I'm tired or work too quickly around important areas.

When using conditioner on the skin instead of shaving cream, there is one piece of advice that is critical to remember and one of my readers said it best: "The only downside is it gets a little too slippery to handle."

Late last night I was tired and actually started to prepare to go to bed earlier than usual, but when I got in the shower I decided to shave anyway (MISTAKE #1). I smeared the conditioner all over while the bathroom filled with steam. Everything was going great with the shaving, but with all that warm fog billowing around me, I started to get really sleepy. Being sleepy on top of being tired is not a good combination. I was shaving in every direction trying to get the job done faster (MISTAKE #2). I was pretty close to being done, so I wasn't really paying that much attention (MISTAKE #3) even though I was shaving one of those important areas (MISTAKE #4).

True to Murphy's Law, the razor handle was too slippery and the triple edged razor sunk into skin. Can I just say it hurt pretty dang bad? As a matter of fact, it has hurt all day long. You see, well you don't see and won't be seeing, that it is in a very bad place to cut. I am constantly reminded of my fiasco every time I move any body part.

As a matter of fact, I don't even need to move a body part. It just hurts without any provocation and I'm a wimp.

While lying down waiting to heal today, I tried to come up with a battle and safety plan for my daily shaving so that it doesn't become an adventure. So far, I've thought of nothing. However, if anyone needs help shaving, um....don't ask me because while other people shave, I butcher.

Yes, Mom and Alyssa, I did blog about it.

Alyssa's Graduation - The Big Family Event

It took eighteen years before it was possible for this big event to take place. Alyssa's high school graduation was the end of one life and the beginning of another. With a heart full of gratitude, we all celebrated one of the most exciting events in Alyssa's life thus far.

The day started with me giving Alyssa directions to the place where the ceremony would be held and unfortunately, I took her the long way. As a side note - never ask me for directions.

We-e-e-e-e-ell! I was really excited and not thinking clearly! I mean, she is my baby!

Anyway, we got in a traffic jam right in front of the place while waiting to be able to park. Because she feared being late, Alyssa grabbed her cap and gown, jumped out of the car, ran across the road and went into the building. That left me to jump out of the car, get into the driver's seat and w-a-i-t for the traffic to move.

Eventually, I was able to park and everyone had saved me a seat inside.

My focus was on Alyssa. As I watched the reason for my motherhood excitedly await her diploma, I thought of all the years that preceded this wonderful event. So many priceless moments flashed before my eyes and tears constantly threatened to overflow like a river.

Because of the traumatic events during the preceding year and a half, this day was even more memorable. I kept vacillating between the thoughts that all those years had passed and that Alyssa was alive and graduating. The day actually started to feel surreal.

After several speakers had talked, they announced how the students would be called by name and the process they should take to receive their diploma. I felt a huge surge of pride and relief. I decided I would take a picture to forever remember how I was feeling. Precisely at that moment, Alyssa turned around and looked at me. I knew that she was feeling the same way.

It was like a dream as she took one step after another across the stage.

My baby girl was graduating from high school and I was there to watch it.

The moment was almost too wonderful.

This beautiful young woman has received the best part of me and I'm so proud to be able to call her my daughter.

Proud?

No. My feelings go way past pride.

I love Alyssa beyond words - spoken or written.

After the graduation, we all met outside in the heat and bright sunshine for a photo opportunity. It was really hard not to squint or melt, but you couldn't tell it by looking at Alyssa. She looked like a movie star in her white dress, six inch heels and golden tan.

It had only been a few years earlier that we all gathered to see my lovely niece, Brittany, graduate from high school. This beautiful girl with flaming curls and the silky haired blond were both smiling in the view of my camera. I'm sure there couldn't be a more beautiful site on all the planet.

These photographs make me want to sing like Stevie Wonder, "Isn't she lovely? Isn't she beautiful?"

Here we are...trying not to squint too badly, but totally melting in the heat.

After the graduation ceremony, we had a small family celebration at Alyssa's favorite restaurant. Of course, there had to be cake with pink flowers.

Yes, gratitude filled my heart to overflowing that lovely June day. My beautiful daughter graduated.

Of course, I feel even more grateful that my child and mother love each other. The two of them look and act so much alike and I love them both so much.

So now I'm the mother of a high school graduate. In many ways, I too graduated that day. It is not only time for Alyssa to start a new life filled with adventure, but I'm also excited at the possibilities and opportunities for happiness that await me.

I wonder what the future has in store for both of us?

The Redhead Riter And Santa Claus

I have always been The Redhead Riter because I have always been a redhead and loved to write. However, I used to be a child long before I started this blog.

As a child, I loved going to visit Santa Claus and having my picture taken with him. I still love to go visit Santa and it is one of the few times that I am excited about looking into the camera!

(click, click)

I thought I would show you some of my visits to the big guy in red.

My sister, Audrey, did not like Santa Claus
and it was the same scene for many years when we visited him.
I remember thinking,
"She is messing up the picture!
What a baby!"
Well, looking at the photograph now,
I am just laughing my head off.
Isn't Audrey just so adorable!
Of course, I'm laughing even harder at myself
because it looks like the curls on my head
have a mind of their own
and are going all which-a-way.
Really Mom,
couldn't you have tamed them just a little bit?

(click, click)

No matter which Santa Claus we visited or
if I sat on his lap at the same time or not,
Audrey hated him and would scream her head off.

(click, click)

Eventually, Audrey decided that sitting on Santa's lap wasn't so bad after all.
I think that is because of the candy cane he passed us
after they took the picture.
She still didn't like Santa
and obviously, refused to smile and fake it.
I loved Santa!!!
He always asked me what I wanted for Christmas
and I would say,
"A new doll."
Every year my wish came true.
Who wouldn't like a man that made your wishes come true?
I think I want my own Santa Claus!

(click, click)

I firmly believe that the whole reason I love when men's hair
starts turning white is because of Santa.
He spoiled me!
Santa wasn't demanding,
wasn't mean,
gave me candy
and left me whatever I asked for under the tree at Christmas.

(click, click)

I knew then that Santa Claus just adored me.
I was just as cute at six years old as I was at two years old.
I see all those freckles across my nose and
I can't help that I think redheaded children are too cute.
Besides, I know what Santa was thinking too.

Elegant Evening iPhone Photos And Delicious Food

Let me start by saying that Brittany, my niece, got a new iPhone and I used it to take all the pictures in this post. I also took about fifty others that aren't in this post. I fell in love with her phone.

Okay, nobody faint! I know that I usually keep a cell phone until it is ready to be donated to the Smithsonian, but this phone really impressed me and it was fun to use. I seriously didn't want to give the phone back to Brittany!

What was the occasion that had me snapping so many photos?

My family did something a little bit different this year...

On Christmas Eve we all met at my mother's house to eat, open gifts and enjoy each other's company.

My mother is a very elegant woman and her home reflects her personality. Everything was decked out to the nines when we arrived. Of course, I was late which seems to be the norm. I feel bad for Alyssa because she is always ready an hour ahead of time and I'm the one that makes her late. The other redhead in the family, my niece, is also late all the time. Maybe it is just a redhead thing or we both have the same mutated late gene. I was just glad that she got there after we did. (smile)

Anyway, I love the feeling of Mom's home. It is clean, uncluttered, smells nice, looks elegant and very welcoming.

Mom was so excited to have us all come over and had spent many hours cooking in preparation for our visit. It was quite evident that she wanted everything perfect. I love her so much for loving us all so much.

Really, who wouldn't feel special dining with gold flatware, china and crystal? I should add...especially since Mom knows that I break everything I touch.

There was so much food on the table and every little foodie gene in my body leaped with excitement.

Sitting right next to me was the Apple Cake. It tastes as deliciously rich as it looks and was so moist. I was so tempted to start my meal with the cake, but I resisted. My sister, however, did begin with the cake and felt no shame. It was quite comical.

Before you ask, let me answer the question on the tip of your tongue...

No, I have not shared this recipe with you yet, but I will definitely have this one in my cookbook.

The newest addition to Mom's repertoire of recipes is a Waldorf Salad inspired by her husband. I loved it the first time she made it and I think that Mom has definitely perfected the dish now. It is very addictive and hard to stop eating.

My most favorite dish on the whole table was the Blueberry Salad. I daydream about Blueberry Salad. It is so tantalizing to my taste buds. I can assure you that I brought some home with me and ate it for a midnight snack and at breakfast on Christmas morning. Yes, it is that yummy.

The naked ladies and cherubs that hold flower arrangements in Mom's home were also decorated with lights. Personally, I think she should leave the lights on them all year long.

Everything was so beautiful and I felt so much love from my family. It was so nice to sit together again.

As you can tell in the reflection of the mirror, Mom's tree is elegantly gorgeous just like her. I won't confess that I was actually trying to take a picture of myself because as you can tell, the iPhone was covering most of my face and I was looking down. I have this thing with looking down in photos, but you probably haven't noticed that about me (wink).

Since I don't have any pictures proving that I'm more than just a head with a mop of red hair, this photo proves that my body extends at least to the top of my knees. I promise that I do have feet too.

You can laugh now.

I tried really hard to have a great shot of me with Alyssa, but I am very slow with mastering the art of any telephone. I do so much better with a camera that isn't pointed in my direction. However, my petite child pushed the button to take the picture so that I could at least hold her close and have a photo to remember this wonderful evening. Isn't Alyssa so lovely?

Thank you Mom for all your efforts during the evening and thank you everyone else for making it so wonderful. I love you all very much and feel so grateful that I was able to share in the festivities with you.

Merry Christmas

Memory is a way of
holding onto the things you love,
the things you are,
the things you never want to lose.

I was adorable when I was two years old.

Yes, I love myself as a child. Who can resist a child with a mop of orange-red curls and porcelain white skin?

In my younger years, we would spend Christmas at Mam-Maw and Gran-Gran's house (my mother's parents). They only lived two hours away from our home and it was a trip we took often on the weekends.

I remember being two years old much to the amazement of many people. I remember random things like...the coldness of the metal plate on the door and the roughness of the fabric on the chair.

I was a prissy little girl which you could tell by my little gown, red painted fingernails and the way I opened my gifts with two fingers.

Of course, the VERY young man in the background is my dad. He has been gone for a little over a year now. I guess in many ways I still can't believe that he is gone. While looking at the photograph of him, I can almost smell his Old Spice.

On this particular Christmas I received one of my most favorite gifts of all time - a rocking pony. It took me a while to warm up to it, but once I did, I never wanted to quit riding. The squeaky squeak as I rocked back and forth on the pony just added to my enjoyment.

You know, I can remember kissing the top of the pony's head and how sometimes my nightgown got in the way as I tried to get on the pony to ride.

To look backward for a while
is to refresh the eye,
to restore it,
and to render it the more fit
for its prime function of looking forward.~Margaret Fairless Barber

I hope you all have a wonderful day whether it is spent with family, friends or alone. However you spend it, take a minute to be grateful for all the love you've received during your life. That's what I'm thankful for most of all. I have been loved and still have people who love me. Thank you for all your sweet and encouraging messages and notes to me over the past few years. I won't ever be able to fully express my gratitude for your kindnesses. I hope that God will grant you his choices blessings and that you have a wonderful holiday season.

Yulia Brodskaya

The Different Christmas

This year will mark my forty-eighth Christmas during which time there have been numberless memories created. In many ways, it is a blur of memories from childhood and motherhood.

As much excitement as it has been receiving gifts, there has been so much more joy in being able to give to those I love...with this year being the exception.

It is strange actually. Alyssa and I have had such a hard and unhappy two years that we don't feel any Christmas spirit at all.

Lights, trees and music have not spurred the usual emotions. Actually, we both feel a bit hollowed out inside.

I had started to feel guilty about it all until last night after Alyssa got home.

As we sat together in our pajamas keeping Bella and the eight-week old pup I have been dog sitting away from each other, the conversation was light and easy. Even without words, we were sharing the same feelings in many ways.

While we both puttered on our computers, I played music. For a long time, I kept clicking different YouTube videos of Michael Bublé - first Christmas music and then his just regular songs. When we had exhausted all the Michael Bublé music at quite an elevated volume, I put on my regular playlist of non-holiday songs which starts out with about ten Kenny G easy flowing saxophone arrangements.

Alyssa thinks his music is beautiful too and so we surfed, chatted and listened.

Well, that's what we did until the silliness set in...

When Ambrosia started singing "How Much I Feel," the mood suddenly changed.

I don't know how this whole business started
Of you thinkin' that I had been untrue
But if you think that we'd be better parted
It's gonna hurt me but I'll break away from you
Well, just give me the sign and I will be gone, yeahh

And that's when Alyssa, the girl with the gorgeous singing voice, started to sing like a crazy girl with a terrible voice...

That's how much I fe-e-e-e-el
Fee-e-e-e-el for you, ba-a-aby

Okay, she totally ruined the song and I couldn't help but laugh out loud. Alyssa couldn't keep singing either because she was laughing so hard. My "old" music wasn't cutting the mustard.

While both of us laughed without breathing, I looked at this beautiful young woman and once again, like millions of times before, felt a surge of love and gratefulness that I am her mother. I am the one that has been able to watch her grow and share all these moments of life.

Every minute that I have lived being her mother has been the greatest moments of my life.

Alyssa has made me a better and happier person.

Although we didn't do decorations and all the gifts she wanted probably won't get here before Christmas tomorrow, we have made peace with our lack of emotions.

I don't feel guilty any longer and Alyssa doesn't either.

Instead, I am very grateful that we are both alive to share another holiday together and hopefully the rest of our family will feel the same way.

Tomorrow's festivities and lack of "spirit" will become a blur and a small blip in our memories in comparison to many of those we've experienced in the past, but that's fine. The most important thing of all is that I love Alyssa and my family and they love me back. It doesn't take Christmas, gifts, decorations and lights to make those feelings validated.

This year it will be the love, compassion and shared moments that count.

It will be the breathless moments when I realize that Alyssa is alive and I'm also alive and that we are able to enjoy the day together. That memory and those feelings will always be strong and never blur.