Kissing – Wet, Open Mouth, Tongue Kisses & Happy Marriages

by Sherry Riter in Marriage series,Relationship,Sex

Take me by the tongue and I'll know you

“Take me by the tongue and I’ll know you.

Kiss me ’til you’re drunk and I’ll show you.”



Lately I’ve been addicted to a song by Maroon 5 called Moves Like Jagger. Believe me, I do not think about Mick Jagger while listening to this song. The visual image that “take me by the tongue” creates in my mind is very sexy. Of course, that’s just me in my mind, but surely it does the same thing to other people too.

Today, I’m going to follow up my opinion with a little research. There’s nothing like discussing science and kissing at the same time, right? Hey, don’t roll your eyes. I might be able to teach you a thing or two about kissing. (wink)

Come closer.

No, no, no. Sit back in your chair and read! I just wanted to make sure you could see the monitor! What did you think I meant?!

(sly little smile)

According to a British survey:

“Almost one in five (18 percent) married people don’t pucker-up with their partner for an entire week, while two in five married people (40 percent) kiss for just five seconds or less when they do get it on.”

OH MY GOODNESS! I have to say, I was really shocked at such a terrible statistic!

So I decided to see if there was some hope for mankind in another study by Susan M. Hughes, Marissa A. Harrison and Gordon G. Gallup, Jr. about Sex Differences in Romantic Kissing.

Kiss me 'til you're drunk and I'll show you


The Inside Story On Kissing

Men and women see osculation differently because, as you know, Women Are From Venus And Men Are From Mars. Here is a list of some of the interesting points in the study by Hughes, Harrison and Gallup.

  • Men like wetter kisses with more tongue contact and open mouth kissing.
  • Females place a greater emphasis on kissing for making mate assessments.
  • Males consider a “good kiss” as one where their partner lets them initiate tongue contact.
  • Females are more likely to base evaluations of their partners’ kissing ability on chemical cues such as the breath, the taste of their mouth and the appearance of their teeth.
  • Males are less discriminating when it comes to deciding who to kiss or who to have sex with. They are more willing to have sex with someone without kissing, to have sex with someone they are not attracted to, and agree to have sex with someone they consider to be a “bad kisser.”
  • Both males and females use kissing as a bonding mechanism which creates greater emotional closeness.
  • Females appear to place a greater emphasis on kissing to induce bonding.
  • Males place more emphasis on their partner’s face, body, and weight as focal characteristics they use to decide whether to kiss someone.
  • Females think kissing is important throughout a relationship whereas males place less importance on kissing as the relationship progresses.
  • Men use kissing as an attempt to “seduce” romantic partners as a strategy to gain sexual access to females more than as a bonding function.
  • Kissing seems to be viewed by both sexes as an activity that can increase sexual arousal and receptivity.
  • More males than females used kissing in an attempt to end a fight.
  • Men and women report that the ability to kiss well contributes to making someone “a good lover”.
  • Overall, the research showed that males feel kissing should lead to sex more often than do females.
  • Males also categorize a “good kiss” as one that leads to sex and one where “my partner makes moaning noises,” which may signal arousal and receptivity.
  • Women who are in a committed relationship feel that kissing is used (wittingly or not) to update, monitor, and assess the status of their partner’s continuing commitment (or lack thereof) to the relationship.
  • Men rate kissing as more “erotic” than do women.
  • Kissing on the lips was rated by both men and women as being more intimate than “cuddling,” “holding hands,” “hugging,” “caressing,” “stroking,” “massages,” “backrubs,” and “kissing on the face.”
  • The amount of reported kissing between partners is directly proportional to relationship satisfaction.

Did the last point make sense? Couples that are happy and satisfied with each other and the relationship share more kisses.

I always think it is sad when someone says that the “thrill” in their marriage is gone or women say that they “have” to have sex with their husbands at least once a week. You can create the thrill in your marriage any time you want to and “getting” to have sex with your husband is a wonderful experience and opportunity!

Take me by the tongue and I'll know you, Kiss me 'til you're drunk and I'll show you


Kisses Add Passionate Sparks To A Relationship

One way to add the spark of passion in your relationship is to kiss each other often and for a lo-o-o-ong time! A less than five second kiss is too short!

Think about the song Moves Like Jagger

“Take me by the tongue and I’ll know you.

Kiss me ’til you’re drunk and I’ll show you.”

You do not feel drunk from kissing in less than five seconds.

A relationship is divided into novelty and intimacy. After the novelty of a new love lessens, a couple has the opportunity for a deeper level of intimacy. Couples don’t have to work at “thrilling” moments when love is new because everything is new! Thrills and excitement just happen. As the newness wears off, a more intimate union can occur, but only after a conscious effort is made to keep the fires of passion alive. Part of that effort includes kissing each other often.

Of course, I know it takes a whole lot more than kissing to make a marriage successful, but don’t devalue the importance of kissing and sex in a relationship.

The British survey also reported that young lovers ranging from 18 to 24 years old are making out an average eleven times each week and five percent of people over 45 are making time for over thirty-one kisses each week.

I still think that is terrible statistics.

If you kiss “hello” and “goodbye” then that only leaves a little over two more kisses during the day. That’s really not a whole bunch in my opinion. We simply need to kiss each other more often because it feels good and it will strengthen our relationships.

Kissing is a universal practice among sexual or romantic partners. Obviously, just about everyone is doing it, but they are not kissing enough.

So go get your lip balm and make those lips soft. Then gently brush your soft lips against the mouth of the one you love. If the kiss is sloppy or rough, then you need more practice and there’s no time like the present. But if you feel a little romantic magic, don’t stop kissing because you’re on the right track!

The Redhead Riter

This post was written by...

Sherry Riter is also known as The Redhead Riter. Sherry is witty, intelligent and addictive as she writes about cooking, family, marriage, failures, blogging tips, art, humor, inspiration, travel, PTSD and aging. Her goal is to inspire, motivate, educate and to make her audience laugh. Sherry embraces being a redhead and helps others to see the redhead point of view…"In some eras redheads were worshipped while others thought us witches. Personally, I like the former and think every day is 'Love a redhead day!'" She can also be found on Facebook, Google+, Pinterest, StumbleUpon, Linkedin, tweeting as @TheRedheadRiter and you can subscribe to her free blog feed.

{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Skip_D December 2, 2011 at 12:51 am

A delightful topic, skillfully written with charm, wit, clarity, and just enough sensuality to make it inviting and keep it appealing.


2 By Word of Mouth Musings December 2, 2011 at 4:57 am

Love a kissing tutorial right before the weekend and my hub gets back into the country tonight … pucker up baby!


3 KathyMorelli December 2, 2011 at 6:09 am

Hey Red – GREAT topic witty funny sexy and love the research! Move like Jagger ! Definetly SoMe sharing this! LOL! Have a great weekend! Kathy


4 PJ December 2, 2011 at 6:47 am

Boy! Did this post bring back memories! We are now part of that statistic about the 5 second kissing, as both of us have trouble breathing! (He more than I). Needless to say, our "romance is pretty much out the window". When I first started reading this post, the first thing that came to mind was something Julia Roberts said in "Pretty Woman". She said she "wouldn't kiss on the mouth". I completely understood why. There is just something about kissing on the mouth that brings out intimacy. It doesn't even have to be one of those tongued passionate kisses. I know I liked it when they were just the soft brushing across my lips type. Oops! I'm getting too personal! LOL! Too many memories. Great post. Thanks Red!

Love ya!


5 Katherines Corner December 2, 2011 at 2:09 pm

kissing is one of my favorite things today. I will get at least two kisses everyday, after dinner and before bed, All the rest are bonus kisses , LOL xo
P.S.Did you add your blog to the blog list page?


6 Stéfan December 2, 2011 at 2:58 pm

A call to kissing! This is a great post. You write great content, deliver it in a fun voice and even tie in some current reference like the Maroon 5 song. Bravo – well done. You know, Red, I love your blog!


7 Anonymous February 3, 2012 at 5:50 am

Wow! Thats all I can say, WOW! I, like PJ have a hard time breathing so the "long kiss" is a thing of the past with us. One thing I found as a dating young adult was…I do not like to be " swallowed up" YUCK! I have had one or two kisses in the past where you think your Kissing JAWS! lol
I don't like the fact that men , my husband included thinks if you kiss him or give him a long hug that = sex!
Great article!


8 stop an addiction to porn February 25, 2013 at 3:47 pm

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9 Sherry Riter February 25, 2013 at 5:38 pm

Thank you very much! I’m so glad you stopped by and that you are enjoying my blog! Visit as often as you wish because I will be here!


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