While I have been recategorizing all the posts on my blog in the pre-move to WordPress, I’ve had the pleasure and the pain of rereading many of my posts. I didn’t really realize how much I had written and I’ve covered a multitude of thoughts, memories and experiences..
Now it is Autumn.
When the leaves turn bright colors and begin to fall on the ground, I have a vivid memory of my dad’s short fight with cancer and the emptiness I feel now that he is gone. My parents divorced when I was nine years old and I ended a sixteen year marriage with Alyssa’s dad during this time of year.
Those experiences bring about terrible memories.
However, the pain heightened an awareness in my soul that shaped and molded my personality in a way that nothing else could have done.
I actually moved on from those moments in my life as a different person. Looking back, I realize that all three of those experiences were greatly influenced by Dad’s choices which ultimately affected me in one way or another.
Long before Dad died, we had not only made our peace and all issues were confronted, but we developed a father-daughter relationship. I was glad that I was available with an open heart for my Dad when he was ready to have me in his life again. After so many years of yearning for a relationship with him, I was finally able to enjoy one. We talked to each other at least twenty minutes to an hour every day. Actually, I listened way more than I talked, but it is a hard gap of time to fill without him.
I miss listening to Dad’s voice every day.
I miss the little things: the smell of his Old Spice, his white fuzzy socks, his laugh and the way he made me laugh every day with a joke or by recounting his silly antics. I miss hearing him say he loved me.
As time has passed, many aspects of my life have changed. I’m a different person today than I was two years ago because of the experiences I’ve encountered. Actually, I’m dramatically different in many ways and I’ve learned a very important lesson.
“Life is change.”
The goal of surviving through pain and/or trauma is to become a better person with more understanding after living through the changes.
I have progressed and no longer look down when I walk with hopes that the earth will swallow me up. Even if there is a bump in life, I can still see possibilities for happiness.
I have hope.
I’m like the “Six Million Dollar Man” from that television show so long ago….”I’m better than I was before – better, stronger, faster.”
Okay, maybe I’m not faster or stronger physically, but emotionally and mentally I am much faster and stronger. No matter how you look at it, I am better.
I know I am better.
I have survived and now I am flourishing.
I may still sometimes hang my head from the weight of problems that rest on my shoulders, but I know that everything will work out and I’m going to be fine. The possibilities for a life filled with happiness are limitless and that’s why when I look down, I’m still looking up.
Now, the time we have all been waiting for…(drum roll) This is the weekly post where I spotlight my Rockin’ Friends who are the Top Nine active participants and loyal followers in my community which has THE BEST people in the world! If you want to be mentioned here next week, then all it takes is to come in and start chatting with everyone in my community.
Below are a few discussions going on in my community :
- It’s Marlene Barber’s Birthday November 25th! Let’s Wish Her A Happy Birthday!
- What Can I Say? I’m A Post Counter Diva! — (58,285 comments)
- I Upgraded to WordPress (Self Hosted)
- Do You Feel Trapped In A Situation That You Feel There Is No Way Out?
- Something I wish was still sold in stores…
- When do you cook Thanksgiving dinner?
- Go Between Friend
- Embedded Blogs and The New BlogFrog
- Do celebrity moms set unrealistic expectations for everyone else?
With a big, heartfelt thank you for their participation and friendship, here are the Rockin’ Friends this week in order of most participation.
- Joan at A Bad Marriage Is Fattening
- Katlupe at Homesteading On The Internet
- Carol at ArtMuseDog
- Marlene at Marlene’s Many Hats
- Teresa at Teresa’s Thoughts And Ideas
- Jedd at Jedd Meir
- Fawn at Happy Wives Club
- Kristi at Child Sensitive Communication Grid
- Mama P at Keeper of the Penguins
I’m so glad that I’ve been able to become friends with these wonderful people who are so active in my community. I encourage you to add their blogs to your blogroll, but also come over and chat with us in my community.
For everyone mentioned in the top nine this week, feel free to grab the Rockin’ Friend badge below and thank you for your participation!!
Until next week…Kiss your family, hug your friends and don’t forget to be the friend you would like to have around.
Woo Us To Your Blog
As always, attached is the weekly Linky to enter either the main URL to your site or add each post you publish throughout the week. You don’t have to do anything special, just drop your link in and get a little extra exposure to your site.