Richard Gere, Keanu Reeves And George Clooney At My Doctor’s Appointment

by Sherry Riter in Relationship

I thought I was going to be the highlight of The Guinness Book Of World Records for my brain exploding like an atomic bomb, but it didn’t happen.

For a little history, everyone in my family is plagued with migraine headaches except for me. I am thrilled that I was left out of THAT family trait. I also don’t ever get headaches. Well, I rarely ever have a headache, but for the past three days I’ve had a serious pain throbbing by entire brain.

Not a migraine.

Not allergy induced.

Not the lack of food or the wrong food.

Not sinus problems.

It was just a headache that constantly pounded hard especially when I leaned down even if only slightly. Each time the headache pulsed, it forced my head to expand twelve inches all the way around.

Okay, so it didn’t really make my head expand, but that is the way it felt.

Since I am a doctor, I was sure that it must be my blood pressure.

Okay, so I’m not a doctor either, but don’t even try to tell me that you don’t self-diagnose your problems.

Since I already had an appointment with my regular doctor today, I thought I would just tell her about it.

There is always a little pre-planning before I go to any doctor appointment because I make sure that everything is just right…

My underclothes are matching.

Armpits and legs are shaved smooth as silk.

Nails are all the same length.

My entire body is covered with lotion.

Yes, I am obsessive, but I don’t want to look like I neglect the only body I am ever going be able to call my own. Plus, I never know how much of my body is going to actually be seen.

Anyway, I see the doctor and my blood pressure is perfect even though I am sitting there with an exploding headache. To make sure that nothing is totally out of whack, the doctor orders my blood to be drawn and sent for analysis.


No, it isn’t really lovely because I often faint when my blood is taken.

Are you laughing or rolling your eyes? I can’t help it! Blood coming out of my body and filling tubes is just sickening!

Anyway, the doctor directs me to the waiting room reserved for people who need x-rays or blood work.

It was just a narrow and boring semi-room.

To the right was the room I just came out of, the x-ray room and the nurses’ station.

To the left was (insert Jaws music) the office of the nurse who would be sucking the blood from my veins with a needle.

Just as I sit down, I see a VERY nice looking man with a slim bag saunter into the room with the nurse. I can hear everything they say and since I had nothing better to do, I sat listening like a spy in a James Bond movie.

The man starts talking about the weather and exclaims, “I’m from Florida, so just show me the sun.”

“Ha! Ha! Ha!” laughs the nurse in the nervous laugh women have when they are around a very sexy man. Don’t even pretend! You know exactly which laugh!.

The conversation about the weather, their spouses, children and cars seems to last forever. Just when I start wondering why in the heck this man is monopolizing the Vampire Nurse, they start talking about pharmaceutical supplies.

Ahhhhhh, yes. I finally understood who this guy was and why he was so handsome. The most handsome and charismatic men are those that work for pharmaceutical companies and visit doctors’ offices! Ladies, tell me you know I’m right!

For another five minutes, I just sat quietly and waited.

After the man leaves, the Vampire Nurse calls my name. Since her cheeks are flushed and I have heard her laughing for the last fifteen minutes, I figured Vampire Nurse was going to be a good mood.

I sat down in the funny chair and told her that I have a tendency to faint, but if she talks while she is drawing the blood, the chances that it will happen lessen dramatically. I figured this would be easy for the Vampire Nurse because she has been having a jolly good time chatting with the handsome man.

Apparently, the handsome man took Vampire Nurse’s voice and good mood with him. She stuck my arm and didn’t say a word until she was almost finished taking out 500 vials of blood. I may be exaggerating the number of vials, but not by much.

I didn’t faint because my mind was so occupied with the dramatic change in the Vampire Nurse’s mood which went from giggling and flushed woman to totally silent, non-smiling nurse.

Aren’t we such funny creatures? My new prayer is, “Please don’t ever let me giggle like a school girl when I’m with handsome men.”

On a side note…a few hours later, my headache went away. Maybe it was because I kept thinking about the handsome man that looked like Richard Gere, Keanu Reeves and George Clooney all rolled into one body…and what a wonderful body.

Like I said, we are funny creatures.

The Redhead Riter


This post was written by...

Sherry Riter is also known as The Redhead Riter. Sherry is witty, intelligent and addictive as she writes about cooking, family, marriage, failures, blogging tips, art, humor, inspiration, travel, PTSD and aging. Her goal is to inspire, motivate, educate and to make her audience laugh. Sherry embraces being a redhead and helps others to see the redhead point of view…"In some eras redheads were worshipped while others thought us witches. Personally, I like the former and think every day is 'Love a redhead day!'" She can also be found on Facebook, Google+, Pinterest, StumbleUpon, Linkedin, tweeting as @TheRedheadRiter and you can subscribe to her free blog feed.

{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Lisa September 13, 2011 at 11:18 am

I don't believe that is being obsessive. Most people go through that before going to a doctor's visit. Hope all is well!


2 Debbie September 13, 2011 at 12:11 pm

HAHAHA! I want to go to your doctor's office. The men who come to my doctor's office all look like Fred Mertz from "I Love Lucy".


3 Being Me September 13, 2011 at 3:08 pm

wow all my favourite men mentioned in one place …LOL.. I had to see what this was about.

We are funny creatures indeed.

Take care


4 Recovering Church Lady September 13, 2011 at 5:17 pm

LOL! I get so nervous at any doc visit that I don't think I would notice if an elephant walked through!

I like your imagination better than mine!


5 Valentina@baby quilts September 13, 2011 at 6:41 pm

Well, I thought everybody does this pre-doctor visit preparation…for me it's a routine! So, don't feel too bad, you are not alone! I only wish my doctor was as sexy looking as this pharm. rep you saw 😀

Hope you are feeling better!


6 Sandra Keith September 13, 2011 at 10:47 pm

I giggled all the way through this post. I used to faint when my blood was drawn too. I always told the vampire that I fainted easy and she/he would always let me lay down. I never fainted if I was laying down. All these years later, I no longer faint at anything. After 10 assorted surgeries, needles no longer both me, even in the hands of a vampire. But I sure thank you for the good giggle. Evoked such memories for me that rather than cringe, I chuckled out loud. Sandy Keith


7 Teresa Wilkinson 1984 September 13, 2011 at 11:09 pm

I understand your trepidation and preparation for seeing the Doctor. I hate going to see the Doctor. Can you give me the address or route schedule of the Mc Dreamy Pharm Rep. I want to get a look at this hunk when I come to Virginia. Just a peak that is all.


8 Kelly Stone Gamble September 14, 2011 at 1:34 am

I'm one of the blood sucking Nurses, but I never get any hot salesmen to flirt with! Where can I sign up for that gig?


9 Monica September 19, 2011 at 12:20 am

Ha, ha, ha. I loved the account of your doctor's visit, and read a couple of your posts. I will be back.
Thanks and God bless.


10 Danielle September 19, 2011 at 6:07 pm

Thanks for sharing your neuroses with the rest of us! Your doctor preparation is no different than flossing before a dental appointment!


11 Teresa September 22, 2014 at 2:54 am

I just found this. Thats my doctors office. I do not care for Cloony but the other two take my breath away. I never saw any one come close to them. Dang the luck and I am Irish


12 Sherry Riter September 22, 2014 at 9:00 pm

😉 Have you seen Gary Allen and heard him sing? I think he trumps all of them. 😛

Listen to this….


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