During some of my darkest moments over the last year, I sat alone, staring at the computer monitor almost pleading for it to reach out and pull me into another life. Words on the screen and the monotonous clicking of the keyboard as I typed, helped to temporarily calm my nerves, but the desire to escape into a more peaceful existence became a constant.
Since all the experiences of my life were jumbled into a massive mess in my mind because of the trauma and PTSD, my feelings about everything were raw, painful and the past was all jumbled with the present. Sometimes it didn’t make sense, but other times it helped me tap into my creative side.
Being a hopeless romantic puts a slant on my writing…often. So I guess even in my traumatized state, my basic nature was still intact which is evidence by a poem I wrote last year called, “I Thought Of You Today“.
~ ©2010 Sherry Riter ~
I thought of you today and remembered the love
that filled the silence with just your voice.
Blissful walks on sunlit days with gentle winds
that echoed promises of passionate kisses
and a lover’s reprieve from the storms of life.
Your words are just hollow memories of pain
that haunt me in the dark loneliness now.
The emptiness you left in my broken heart
cries in silent agony that can only scream
of missing your love and I can’t escape it.
I open the door and stare at the moon knowing
that once we stood together in the glow.
The night air is silent and my thoughts linger
on the memories of your soft, warm kisses
and I know I’ll never be free of this love.
‘I miss you’ my mind repeats as my heart beats
in time with the sweet sentiment of love.
I thought of you today just like every day
before and I know it will continue until
this mortal body steps quietly into eternity.