After arriving home from work, I quickly unlocked the door and stepped into my home to escape the heat this afternoon. Without hesitation, I ripped off my clothes until I stood naked in the middle of the kitchen. My blood sugar was low and I needed to cool off, so I carefully peeled a lusciously ripe mango. The cold, wet fruit helped me to forget about how much I detest the summer’s heat.


mango peel

After completely removing the peel, I flipped each one over to scrape the tender mango with my teeth. The sweetness of this exotic fruit helped me to stop shaking. I know better than to miss my afternoon snack, but today everyone was so grouchy that I was consumed in fixing problems and trying to stay positive.

Slicing off a chunk of the delectable fruit, I thought about how much I love the way my polished red nails look against the bright orange of the mango flesh.

mango flesh

Not one to dawdle over my food, I took a bite. The succulent juice threatened to drip down my chin, but I wasn’t going to let one drop be wasted.

So I took another bite.


took a bite of mango

Bella apparently believed that I would have one of my normal catastrophes as she stood motionless staring at the floor around my feet.

“Sorry puppy,” I said brightly as I took another bite of the perfectly ripened mango, “I’m not going to drop anything on the floor.”


The air conditioner was blowing a huge burst of cold air into the kitchen, but I was still very hot. People think that not being able to sweat would be a lovely problem, but when it gets hot, not sweating is sometimes a nightmare. My body just keeps all the heat stored inside and it is tough not to overheat.



Closing my eyes, I enjoyed the swoosh of cold air, the sweet fleshy mango in my mouth and a sense of relief to finally be home.

There are definitely advantages to getting home first – like being able to stand naked in the kitchen while eating a cold, ripe mango…slowly as the cold air whirls around me.



a juicy bite of mango

If Alyssa was to unexpectedly come home and find me naked in the kitchen eating the last mango, I know exactly what she would say…

“Gross Mom! Put on some clothes!”



Poor child.

Some day she will go through menopause and the word “hot” will take on a whole new meaning. There is no heat like the wrath of menopause on a rampage during summer.

Bella whined realizing that I surely must be getting close to the end of the succulent mango. She was right. I was starting to see the whiteness of the large mango seed.



scraping the mango seed with my teeth

How can one piece of fruit, cold air and nakedness feel so exhilarating?

I love the air conditioner.

I wonder who invented the air conditioner. I don’t think I’ve ever had that as a fact on my daily tweets. I should look it up and do a day of air conditioner tweets.




I hated to see the orange flesh of the mango disappear. It had to be the juiciest mango I’ve ever eaten. Something positive can definitely be said about very ripe fruit on sale. It is truly the best of both circumstances – discounts that save money and perfectly ripened mangoes.

The mango flesh was gone, so I picked up the plate and drank the juice that had accumulated from the dripping. I thought about all the times my mother told me that “Ladies do not lick the plate or slurp.” I’m sure she probably said they don’t stand naked in the kitchen either.

Boy did I break those rules today.

I threw what was left of the skins into the trash, rinsed my knife and plate, put it in the dishwasher and then just stood in the middle of the kitchen. Bella started barking at me, but it was probably because I didn’t give her a mango, not because I was naked.

Men just can not understand this overheated, summer menopause thing. It really is best to be naked when it’s hot. I am sure they would not mind us all being naked more often, but the hormonal heat….yeah, they are clueless.

I wish I had another mango.

Maybe if I put a sign in my window, “Will strip for mango,” a neighbor might bring me one.

Well, on second thought, maybe not.

The Redhead Riter

This post was written by...

Sherry Riter is also known as The Redhead Riter. Sherry is witty, intelligent and addictive as she writes about cooking, family, marriage, failures, blogging tips, art, humor, inspiration, travel, PTSD and aging. Her goal is to inspire, motivate, educate and to make her audience laugh. Sherry embraces being a redhead and helps others to see the redhead point of view…"In some eras redheads were worshipped while others thought us witches. Personally, I like the former and think every day is 'Love a redhead day!'" She can also be found on Facebook, Google+, Pinterest, StumbleUpon, Linkedin, tweeting as @TheRedheadRiter and you can subscribe to her free blog feed.

{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

1 that's life! June 1, 2011 at 3:53 am

I think you should go ahead and put up the 'will strip' sign! It'll be hilarious to see what happens! Hee, hee.


2 Joan June 1, 2011 at 4:01 am

This is a very funny and cute post. Now I want to eat a mango!:)


3 Kaylen June 1, 2011 at 6:11 am

Ha – food porn!!!
I have never thought of a mango in such an erotic way before…but look at you go!!!!

I haven't had a hot flash, so I don't quite know the feeling of the naked need that you write of – but I'm certain that when I do some day, I will most definitely crave a mango!! 🙂


4 PJ June 1, 2011 at 6:21 am

Hey Gal! Would you believe that I have NEVER tasted a mango? What fruit are they similar to?

I can sympathize with the menopause thing. I am "supposed to be over it, at least that's what I think "post-menopause means" and I was going through that back in 2000. I still have hot flashes, nightsweats and horrible moodswings. You can imagine what I was like in the midst of menopause! LOL!

God Bless!


5 Gifts By Katherine June 1, 2011 at 12:54 pm

Giggle, I love that Kaylen called it food porn. I was thinking it when I was reading it. Hugs!!


6 Teresa Wilkinson 1984 June 1, 2011 at 2:38 pm

Red this is hilarious a I love you you are so funny. I totally get naked in the kitchen.


7 Becoming Supermommy June 1, 2011 at 6:42 pm

I thought that, based on your food-porn, you might enjoy a little more food-porn…


8 Bewildered Bug June 3, 2011 at 12:16 pm

Yep – am definitely heading to the grocery now for a mango. My Dad keeps them in the fridge so they're even colder but I hate that.

I saw your comment on BlogFrog – it is funny when you think of your daughter potentially walking in on you (even though those with minds in the gutter (like me!) can take it as erotica! (new calling?)).

My mother is possibly as nuts or more, especially when she was going through menopause. As much as her antics were absolutely crazy, we loved her even more for it – so no worries, "gross Mom!" is really "you're so crazy that I can't help but love you!"


9 T.@WhatWeKeep June 3, 2011 at 2:46 pm

You crack me up! I'm with you- until you've experienced a hot flash you have no idea! As a fellow mango lover and hot flasher…hey, I'd strip for one too! I think this should be a daily ritual!

Love it!



10 Jules June 3, 2011 at 8:58 pm

Okay, never had a mango – been through menopause, though; in Arizona.

Stopped having periods in April of 2004. Figured it was stress – my SO was dying from ESLD. He got a transplant; I never got periods again. Win-win, if you ask me.

There simply is nothing like a hot flash on a day where the temps are pushing 120. Built a small, but tasteful, temple honoring the man who invented A/C during the summer of 2004.

After 5 years, finally stopped having regular hot flashes and night sweats. Still bitchy, but I think that's just me embracing a lifestyle change. lol


11 The Wine Slob June 9, 2011 at 5:23 am

If you ever decide to move to Prescott, Az. Let me know, I will stock my fridge with mango's!

Great story. Great writing. 🙂


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