Do you feel totally out of control?
Do the thoughts and feelings of anger stay in the forefront of your mind?
If you can’t shake the emotions and thoughts of a perceived “wrong” against you is filling your thoughts, then life seems to have a dark cloud always lingering. A grudge is a resentment accompanied by feelings of bitterness, anger, spite, hostility and vindictiveness.
Grudges stack up like cut trees on a logging truck.
If you don’t find a way to let go of all those bitter emotions, the grudges become a heavy load to bear.
for the other person to die.
What Do Christians Believe About Grudges?
If you read the Bible, you might remember Matthew 6:14-15:
14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
Obviously, Christians really don’t have a choice as to whether they forgive or continue to hold a grudge. However, just because I know that I should forgive, it doesn’t mean that I can drop the feelings of anger instantaneously.
A person can not feel joy when their mind and heart is filled with anger and hatred all wrapped up in grudges. Life seems to stall…You can’t think about future plans and no matter what you do, there is a churning uneasiness in your mind.
Maybe we can forgive after we get even, right? Ummm, wrong.
19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.
20 Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.
Although we have the freedom to continue holding a grudge, apparently we are supposed to let go of it and forgive the other person instead of planning revenge.
I’ve lived long enough now to see that people’s choices catch up with them. The natural consequences of life usually take care of the vengeance that we desperately hope for at times. By the time the person suffers, you are either out of their life or humble enough to wish that the other person didn’t have to live the consequences of their actions.
How To Let Go Of A Grudge
you lose sixty seconds of happiness.
How can you let go of a grudge?
- First, you have to be truly willing to give up all the feelings and thoughts associated with the grudge.
- Commit your time to another activity. Not only is this productive, but it fills the time you used to harbor ill feelings.
- If possible, confront the person(s) that wronged you. They may laugh in your face, so be prepared for a pride-filled or evil response from the other person. This step can be totally skipped if you don’t feel the need of expressing your emotions to the other person(s).
- Leave the grudge behind by physically removing yourself from the relationship, situation and/or location. By letting go and physically leaving the circumstances that caused your anger and grudge, your heart will begin to heal.
it kills the man who angers,
for each rage leaves him
less than he had been before –
it takes something from him.
Physical Affects of Holding A Grudge
Are you having a rough time letting go of a grudge? Have you decided just to keep it for a while? Well, before you commit to letting anger to continue coursing through your cells, think about what it does to your body:
- Higher blood pressure
- Cardiovascular Disease
- Faster heart rate
- More physical tension
By carrying a grudge, you are really only hurting yourself. Doesn’t seem like such a great idea to drag around a bunch of heavy and emotionally charged grudges, does it?