Grudges Are A Heavy Load

by Sherry Riter in Attitude,Self-Development  

Have you ever been so angry with someone that you can taste it?
Do you feel totally out of control?

Do the thoughts and feelings of anger stay in the forefront of your mind?

If you can’t shake the emotions and thoughts of a perceived “wrong” against you is filling your thoughts, then life seems to have a dark cloud always lingering. A grudge is a resentment accompanied by feelings of bitterness, anger, spite, hostility and vindictiveness.

Grudges stack up like cut trees on a logging truck.

If you don’t find a way to let go of all those bitter emotions, the grudges become a heavy load to bear.

Resentment is like taking poison
and waiting
for the other person to die.
~Malachy McCourt~

Load of logs

What Do Christians Believe About Grudges?

If you read the Bible, you might remember Matthew 6:14-15:

14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:

15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Obviously, Christians really don’t have a choice as to whether they forgive or continue to hold a grudge. However, just because I know that I should forgive, it doesn’t mean that I can drop the feelings of anger instantaneously.

A person can not feel joy when their mind and heart is filled with anger and hatred all wrapped up in grudges. Life seems to stall…You can’t think about future plans and no matter what you do, there is a churning uneasiness in your mind.

Maybe we can forgive after we get even, right? Ummm, wrong.

19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.

20 Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.

Although we have the freedom to continue holding a grudge, apparently we are supposed to let go of it and forgive the other person instead of planning revenge.

I’ve lived long enough now to see that people’s choices catch up with them. The natural consequences of life usually take care of the vengeance that we desperately hope for at times. By the time the person suffers, you are either out of their life or humble enough to wish that the other person didn’t have to live the consequences of their actions.

How To Let Go Of A Grudge

For every minute you are angry,
you lose sixty seconds of happiness.
~Author Unknown~
Life is too short to waste time on anger and grudges. Easier said than done and I know this fact first hand.

How can you let go of a grudge?

  • First, you have to be truly willing to give up all the feelings and thoughts associated with the grudge.
  • Commit your time to another activity. Not only is this productive, but it fills the time you used to harbor ill feelings.
  • If possible, confront the person(s) that wronged you. They may laugh in your face, so be prepared for a pride-filled or evil response from the other person. This step can be totally skipped if you don’t feel the need of expressing your emotions to the other person(s).
  • Leave the grudge behind by physically removing yourself from the relationship, situation and/or location. By letting go and physically leaving the circumstances that caused your anger and grudge, your heart will begin to heal.

Anger is a killing thing:
it kills the man who angers,
for each rage leaves him
less than he had been before –
it takes something from him.
~Louis L’Armour~

Logs are a heavy load like grudges

Physical Affects of Holding A Grudge

Are you having a rough time letting go of a grudge? Have you decided just to keep it for a while? Well, before you commit to letting anger to continue coursing through your cells, think about what it does to your body:

  • Higher blood pressure
  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Cardiovascular Disease
  • Faster heart rate
  • More physical tension

By carrying a grudge, you are really only hurting yourself. Doesn’t seem like such a great idea to drag around a bunch of heavy and emotionally charged grudges, does it?
The Redhead Riter

This post was written by...

Sherry Riter is also known as The Redhead Riter. Sherry is witty, intelligent and addictive as she writes about cooking, family, marriage, failures, blogging tips, art, humor, inspiration, travel, PTSD and aging. Her goal is to inspire, motivate, educate and to make her audience laugh. Sherry embraces being a redhead and helps others to see the redhead point of view…"In some eras redheads were worshipped while others thought us witches. Personally, I like the former and think every day is 'Love a redhead day!'" She can also be found on Facebook, Google+, Pinterest, StumbleUpon, Linkedin, tweeting as @TheRedheadRiter and you can subscribe to her free blog feed.

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

1 ~Brenda April 6, 2011 at 4:25 pm

Love this. Who wants all of those physical ramifications of holding a grudge anyway? :))


2 Teresha@Marlie and Me April 7, 2011 at 9:28 am

So very true. Grudges are just manifestations of your own disappointments. It's self-sabotaging behavior


3 ruthhill74 April 8, 2011 at 2:23 am

I will keep this brief–this speaks right now to our family. Thanks for posting this. My dad is carrying a horrible grudge against my best friend, and he in turn has a grudge against my dad. My mom and I are struggling with letting go of anger. Especially today.

It is so nice to read the Scriptural reasons, but it is also great that made this post so practical!


4 Tim King April 10, 2011 at 12:26 am

A wonderful topic, Sherry, and one that I've touched on myself.

"I do not have the right not to forgive."

I don't remember where I heard that. But I try to remember that whenever I start to feel angry or bitter at someone else, for any reason. God forgave me, and now I do not have the right not to forgive others.



5 Scrappy Grams April 10, 2011 at 2:35 am

Well said!


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