If you are at least my age or you listen to the oldies music station on the radio, you’ve probably heard the song by Rufus and Chaka Khan entitled “Tell Me Something Good” which has a tune that sticks in my head and won’t go away! Of course, the whole song doesn’t go through my mind, just a part of it. It is the first line of the chorus.
“Tell me something good” and then that really deep voice sings “Tell me, tell me, tell me.”
You know exactly what I’m talking about now, don’t you?
Anyway, if you have followed my life since last year, it has been filled with tragedy, pain, death, fear, anger and trauma. Through it all, I have blogged and written inspirational posts that helped even me feel better, but I have suffered and complained.
Not very long ago I mentioned that my mother was having tests done because she has been really sick. It has been months and months of doctor visits filled with terms that I could not pronounce, spell or even understand at times.
Honestly, I have felt helpless.
I haven’t even been in my right mind because I can’t imagine life without my mother. She has always been there and is an excellent mother. Not good. Excellent. Mom has loved her two grandchildren as much as she loves her two daughters.
On top of it all, I have been trying to cope with this horror while trying to exist with PTSD. I can not even tell you the Hell that exists in my brain from this affliction. So if we take my malfunctioning brain and throw in the terror of my mother passing away in the mix, it has literally been too much for my present coping skills to handle.
I knew Mom had a doctor’s appointment today and I was scared to even answer the phone when she called me at work. I had visions of throwing myself in the floor and screaming which wouldn’t have been too cool. So this morning I got up and put on a purple blazer that Mom gave me which still had the faint scent of her perfume.
I thought about her all day and “Tell Me Something Good” kept repeating in my head. Eventually the phone rang and it was her voice. For a few minutes my insides just froze and I felt like I was going to throw up. I could hear her talking, but nothing was registering. I know I sounded like a babbling idiot, but I don’t even remember what I said. Mom talked long enough for me to hear, “I’m not dying of bone cancer.” She has benign cancer cells that aren’t sticking together or growing, so the doctors are going to watch them a few times a year just to make sure nothing turns ugly.
I remember saying, “I love you” and hanging up at the end of the call, but my mind was a bit fuzzy. I closed my office door while tears of relief destroyed my makeup.
They still don’t know why she’s feeling so unhealthy and tired, but the major diseases are off the board. She also has a new attitude and just might now admit that she’s not 25 years old any more! Mom, just repeat after me, “I’m allowed to get tired and take naps.” (wink)
Finally, Mom was able to “Tell Me Something Good.”