Marriage: And You Think That’s Real?

by Sherry Riter in Marriage series,Relationship


Point of View © Donato Buccella

It was a dimly lit room with a band playing loudly and everyone dancing.

You were stretched out sunbathing on the white sands of the beach with the ocean waves crashing on the shore.

Although all eyes were on the pulpit learning about how to be a better person, your eyes were on the cute boy at the end of the second pew.

School was boring except for that one class when he was there in the next aisle over which caused you to barely pass because you couldn’t keep your mind on the teacher.

Women dream of “the” boy that catches their attention. Of course, we all eventually start to think, “Will he be a good husband and/or father?”

We want to nest.

Settle down.

Make a home.

Be the one of two.

You see him and he smiles at you.

That’s all it takes!!!! Of course, that means that he wants to marry you and be with your forever! Oh how a woman’s mind works sometimes.


How do you know if what he feels for you is real and lasting?

We can’t read anyone’s mind, but there are some clues that help you know if what he feels for you is real and lasting. I have a few thought provoking tips that might assist you in knowing when you find the right guy or to reaffirm that you were right when you married the man that now is fast asleep on the couch snoring the roof off.

  • He thinks you are pretty without makeup and tells you.
  • He reaches for your hand and holds it all the time.
  • He gets a far away look when he stares in your eyes and then hugs, kisses or just holds you.
  • When you ask him if he thinks you are fat, his response is something like, “You have gained weight, but I love you for who you are and not for how much you weigh. Besides, you are always beautiful.”
  • He defends you if someone says or does something unkind, mean or belittling. Chivalry is not dead!
  • The words “I love you” leaves his lips unprovoked and at times other than when he wants you do to something for him.
  • He does not: demean you, cuss at you, cheat on you, abuse you or do anything purposefully, over and over again to hurt your feelings. Basically, he respects you.
  • He notices and appreciates the things you do for him, the family and others.
  • He cherishes you like he would the Hope diamond because you are even more priceless than the gem.
  • He wants to show you off because he is proud and not embarrassed of you.

True love can and does exist. When a man REALLY loves you, his actions speak what his lips do not utter. It is the nature of man to speak less and do more to show what is in his heart. If his actions are not showing it, then he is not feeling it.

When his feelings are real, love is obvious.

It is as obvious as the quart of ice cream you just ate while watching, “The Notebook.”

“So it’s not gonna be easy.
It’s going to be really hard;
we’re gonna have to work at this everyday,
but I want to do that because I want you.
I want all of you, forever, everyday.
You and me… everyday.”
Nicholas Sparks (The Notebook)

The Redhead Riter

This post was written by...

Sherry Riter is also known as The Redhead Riter. Sherry is witty, intelligent and addictive as she writes about cooking, family, marriage, failures, blogging tips, art, humor, inspiration, travel, PTSD and aging. Her goal is to inspire, motivate, educate and to make her audience laugh. Sherry embraces being a redhead and helps others to see the redhead point of view…"In some eras redheads were worshipped while others thought us witches. Personally, I like the former and think every day is 'Love a redhead day!'" She can also be found on Facebook, Google+, Pinterest, StumbleUpon, Linkedin, tweeting as @TheRedheadRiter and you can subscribe to her free blog feed.

{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

1 air March 3, 2011 at 4:12 am

hi dropping by good thing that i marry a good man

hope you could drop by and comment on my post:

thanks in advance


2 TJ March 3, 2011 at 4:55 am

Sherry as your mom and having looked for true love and just always missed it. I have summed up all of what you said in one sentence, I just want "Some one to watch over me" that is next to God you know.


3 Home In The Hollow March 3, 2011 at 11:38 am

Thanks for this, Red. It is very enlightening…:)JP


4 Mom of M&Ms March 3, 2011 at 1:53 pm

WOW! a whole post about my husband… and some days I forget all about how awesome he is.. Thanks for the reminder!


5 Patti Hanan March 3, 2011 at 4:41 pm

Great list. I would like to add to this list that he asks your opinion about things, because he values it and he discusses decisions with you because he wants your input. Thank you.


6 Kindred Adventures March 4, 2011 at 2:33 am

I just finished commenting on another post about marriage… must be something in the internet signal. Beautiful post. Very thoughtful and original. As I read it all I could hope was that I was reading your love story! -Laverne


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