My Fingers Quiver On Your Skin

by Sherry Riter in Marriage series,Relationship,Sex

Marriage - It's not all white lace and roses

“I need to catch my breath
with you sometimes
Cause I… get dizzy
when your body’s touching mine”

Why do we fall in love?

The age old philosophy that we fall in love to propagate the species, still holds true. It is a basic drive like eating, drinking, breathing and having shelter. As humans, we seek after the companionship and the feeling that being with someone can give to us, but more to ensure that we continue our species. The craving to “belong” to someone often borders on an addiction.

You may laugh and think “addiction?” Oh no, not me! The hormones are what causes the butterflies in your stomach, the desire to hold hands, the thrill of being kissed, grabbing the phone when it rings and texting or talking on the phone until one in the morning. The hormone levels are elevated and so is the the thrill created from the attention.

Right or wrong, the physical philosophy (the survival of the fittest) seems to still hold true. Humans subconsciously want to have children and a partner as we go through the experience of life. Men subconsciously seek after women who look like they can bear his children. At the same time, women are looking for a man that can give her strong children and take care of her. Funny how the brain works.

What happens when we fall in love?

Helen Fisher, a research professor at Rutgers University, believes that the happiness, euphoria, energy and sleeplessness we feel at the beginning of a relationship is the “result of elevated levels of dopamine and norepinephrine” which kicks into overdrive.

That hormonal onslaught continues until the couple has time to reach a stable plateau which is necessary to raise children. During this sensible time of love, the hormones oxytocin and vasopressin cause a couple to stay together strengthening the bond with other things such as trust, honesty, and communication to name a few.

Why do we/should we have sex?

Another hormone that adds to the love factor is pheromones which are substances secreted by an organism and recognized by others through undetected smells that produce responses such as those felt during times of fear, sex or aggression.

Sex, sleeping together, rolling in the hay (my parents did this often – secrets out!), making love, sleeping with each other, knowing someone, being intimate, having intercourse, copulating, mating, making whoopee, and getting it on (Marvin Gaye’s choice – I love that song!!!!) all mean the same thing. That by all means is not a full list for this very popular event. Hmmm, is it an event?

Why exactly do we have sex? Here are a few reasons:

  • The obvious reason is to have babies – propagation of the species!
  • Reduces the risk of heart attack and stroke. Specifically, men who have sex three times a week will cut his chances of heart disease in half.
  • Men also have a decreased chance of prostate cancer if they have regular sex.
  • Reduces stress. Will help to eliminate the cramps in your muscles and headaches.
  • Reduces depression. When having sex without a condom, it is believed that the male prostoglandin (found in the semen) is absorbed by the woman’s body thus helping to keep her hormones more level. I wonder if this would eliminate the Witchy Poo nagging factor?
  • Sex keeps away wrinkles. According to Dr. David Weeks, a clinical neuropsychologist at Scotland’s Royal Edinburgh Hospital, reported from his studies that having sex four times a week can help you look ten years younger. Gasp! As we age (there’s that aging thing again), our testosterone levels decrease. By having regular sex, those levels are elevated thus helping to regenerate muscle tissue and bone. I think I might go buy the doctor’s book called “Secrets of the Superyoung.”
  • Because of the increase in oxytocin and endorphins released after sex, the euphoria will stave off aches and pains. Does that mean sex is a drug?(wink)
  • Induces better and sounder sleep.
  • Ever heard of Kegel exercises? Well, strengthen everything in the pelvic area at one time for more control of the other functions which will keep you out of Depends longer! It also helps to prevent vaginal atrophy. Oh my goodness! Did I just say that word on my blog?! (blush)
  • Women who do not take the birth control pill and who also have regular sex will enjoy more regular menstrual cycles.
  • Thirty minutes of having sex burns 200 calories. Definitely the only exercise I enjoy!
  • Keeps your muscles firmed especially the tummy and buns. I guess that means I need to have more sex because my tummy definitely isn’t flat enough!
  • Having sex once or twice a week according to researchers at Wilkes University in Pennsylvania will boost the immune system by 30 percent because of the increase in the antibody called immunoglobulin A. Does that count as taking vitamins? (wink)
  • Goodbye Mr. Lonely. Yep, having sex with your loving partner helps to rid you of those lonely feelings.
  • Enhances the ability to smell. After a pleasurable romp in the sheets there is a surge in the hormone prolactin which enhances our ability to smell.
  • Increases creativity. Hey, yeah! After being married a long time, you’ve got to get creative to avoid the boring factor. Here’s a few suggestions, but Mom, you have to close your eyes and don’t read this part – upside down and hanging off the bed; doing it in the car trunk; on the dining room table; in a swing; in the shower; in an elevator; under the stairs of a public building; in the pool; and in the jacuzzi. For the record, I’m pleading the 5th Amendment and admitting nothing!
  • The best reason of all to make love is because it helps to increase the intimacy and communication in the couple.

Finding the person to click with the rest of your life might take time and effort, but in the end, well worth all that is invested. Falling in love and having sex are wonderful experiences. The racing heart and heightened awareness with your lover is almost beyond explanation. It feels…all over wonderful…heart, mind, soul and body wonderful.

Yes, I know the feeling…

Quick intake of breath as he enters the room.

Nothing else exists.

Just me and him.

Happiness floods the senses.

Our lips meet and my fingers quiver on his skin.

“The way you move is
much too sexy baby
So I… surrender to your
hands, your lips, your taste
And I’m telling you tonight
You got me defenseless,
intoxicated senseless”

This post was written by...

Sherry Riter is also known as The Redhead Riter. Sherry is witty, intelligent and addictive as she writes about cooking, family, marriage, failures, blogging tips, art, humor, inspiration, travel, PTSD and aging. Her goal is to inspire, motivate, educate and to make her audience laugh. Sherry embraces being a redhead and helps others to see the redhead point of view…"In some eras redheads were worshipped while others thought us witches. Personally, I like the former and think every day is 'Love a redhead day!'" She can also be found on Facebook, Google+, Pinterest, StumbleUpon, Linkedin, tweeting as @TheRedheadRiter and you can subscribe to her free blog feed.

{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Leslie January 16, 2011 at 5:15 am

What a sexy post! Hmmm.. after 28 years of marriage, I am the true testament that a wonderful marriage isn't always about the "Makin Whoopie".. seems my mojo has skipped town or taken a lengthy vacation? Who knew it was going to exit? I never gave it a permission slip! Now, how do I find it again?

After reading all the reasons why "getting it" is so beneficial, I think I may need to play the song, "Sexual Healing" by Marvin Gaye (one of my favorite songs) over and over and over again, under the sheets, inbetween the sheets, on top of the sheets and every where in between..

Hmmm.. some good Sunday thinking..


2 TJ January 16, 2011 at 6:25 am

Well I did not close my eyes, you left out the best places. Like in a tin roof tent of hay in the forest in a thunder storm, or in the hay loft of the barn when the sun is setting, In the middle of a field in a win row, sun setting, wild geese landing all around you. { a win row is a large mound of trees that the land was cleared of for farming} Your dad for got all about shooting those geese,lol. Well I guess I have said enough, would not want him to haunt me tonight,lol.



3 The Redhead Riter January 16, 2011 at 10:02 am

Thanks Mom, that was a sweet and fun comment. It's nice to know that my parents enjoyed being together and loved each other.


4 Adriana Iris January 16, 2011 at 5:28 pm

LOL@Mom… yes, very sweet and funny…
My parents were never affectionate towards each other and I hated that fact… still do…
I hope that without making my kids sick or embarrassed I am a good example of a partnership and a loving relationship. TY so much!


5 abadmarriageisfattening January 17, 2011 at 12:13 am

Great post, Red! I think you have missed your calling. You would make a great romance writer! (Although everything you said in your post was true about the benefits of having sex!)

Now I know where you get your romanticism from — it was handed down to you by your beautiful mother. That was just stunning visually in one's mind eye what she wrote. And she also has a sense a humor — like her ex-husband (your father) is going to haunt her! That was too cute!

Anyhow, Red, I am not joking, you should seriously consider writing a romance novel. Women love romance novels and they sell fantastically. You could become The Queen of Romance Writing.

Me? I couldn't write a romance novel if my life depended upon it. Well, maybe if my life depended upon it I could come up with something!:)


6 The Redhead Riter January 17, 2011 at 3:32 am

Thank you Leslie! Yeah, it was rather sexy LOL I totally suggest putting on that song. I think it will help create magic!

Thank you ABadMarriageIsFattening! That was a lovely compliment and I'm glad you enjoyed it. I actually do have part of a romance novel written, but never get the time to work on it. :o( I guess this is where I have to tell myself to be patient and the time will eventually come when I can work on it.

Adriana, I'm glad that you have changed the cycle! The affection you show for your spouse will definitely teach your children to be loving.


7 Patti Hanan February 18, 2011 at 8:44 pm

Beautiful. I enjoyed all the health benefits you listed. Even more, I enjoyed the romantic parts. You have put me in the mood for love!


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