The Redhead Riter - Witty, Intelligent & Addictive: 12/1/10

Driving Through The Neighborhood

"Love makes your soul crawl out
from its hiding place."
~Zora Neale Hurston~

During some alone time this week, I drove around looking at Christmas lights. It was a little sad being alone, but with each home that slowly passed by my windows, I felt more relaxed and peaceful. For some reason, I thought about people who can't see - people who are physically blind.

An unsighted person is not able to enjoy the beauty of the all the historic homes that I was casually driving through while enjoying the bright white and colorful lights and decorations. Of course, I always associate blindness with Helen Keller who once said,

"The only thing worse
than being blind
is having sight but no vision."
~Helen Keller~

I've always had a vision and plenty of hope to carry me through to a successful completion of one goal after another. Do I often fail? Sure, but I also always get back up and try again and again and again.

The thing that bothered me on my scenic drive was that not only was I the only site seeing car, but I also did not see even one person in any of the yards or houses the entire thirty minutes I was in that neighborhood.

Were all the people hiding? Had it been such a tough year that everyone felt the need to be tucked safely within the haven of their homes?

"But the eyes are blind.
One must look with the heart..."
~Antoine de Saint-Exupery~

How often do we go through the motions in our daily lives and then at the end of the day, fall sound asleep without any further communication or thought? I remember the first time I heard Tim McGraw's song, "Live Like You Were Dying." It pierced my soul with the realization that life is short and we only have one shot at getting it right. If we knew that we were dying, what would we do differently? Here are the words in case you've never heard the song...

He said: "I was in my early forties,
"With a lot of life before me,
"An' a moment came that stopped me on a dime.
"I spent most of the next days,
"Looking at the x-rays,
"An' talking 'bout the options an' talkin’ ‘bout sweet time."
I asked him when it sank in,
That this might really be the real end?
How’s it hit you when you get that kind of news?
Man whatcha do?

An' he said: "I went sky diving, I went rocky mountain climbing,
"I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu.
"And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter,
"And I gave forgiveness I'd been denying."
An' he said: "Some day, I hope you get the chance,
"To live like you were dyin'."

He said "I was finally the husband,
"That most the time I wasn’t.
"An' I became a friend a friend would like to have.
"And all of a sudden goin' fishin’,
"Wasn’t such an imposition,
"And I went three times that year I lost my Dad.
"Well, I finally read the Good Book,
"And I took a good long hard look,
"At what I'd do if I could do it all again,
"And then:

"I went sky diving, I went rocky mountain climbing,
"I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu.
"And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter,
"And I gave forgiveness I'd been denying."
An' he said: "Some day, I hope you get the chance,
"To live like you were dyin'."

Like tomorrow was a gift,
And you got eternity,
To think about what you’d do with it.
An' what did you do with it?
An' what can I do with it?
An' what would I do with it?

"Sky diving, I went rocky mountain climbing,
"I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu.
"And then I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter,
"And I watched Blue Eagle as it was flyin'."
An' he said: "Some day, I hope you get the chance,
"To live like you were dyin'."

"To live like you were dyin'."
"To live like you were dyin'."
"To live like you were dyin'."
"To live like you were dyin'."

So these beautifully decorated homes that date back to the early 1900's sent a message of hope to my heart. People lived in those homes a hundred years ago and have long since died. They worked, learned, laughed and cried. But the lesson here to learn is that they have already passed away and now we are here...living, working, learning, laughing and crying.

With the new year right around the corner, have you taken the time to revisit last year, set goals for the new year and rejuvenated your spirit with hope for success and happiness?

I've determined that I can't just ride around the neighborhood this year and hide safely behind the door. That's basically what I've been doing as I've tried to heal, but I don't want to miss out on the rest of my life.

Many people I've run into or know have been in a slump this holiday season. Well ya'll (yeah, I am letting the Texan come out), the Christmas holiday is over. The year is almost over. All of our lost dreams of last year are over. The awful, sad and traumatic events have taken place and they are over.

You can do this.

I can do this.

We can do this.

We have awesome abilities, talents and strengths within each of us. Believe it. Don't hide or blindly live one day after the other. With the ringing in of the new year, it is time to walk through the door into 2011 with your head held high and your soul full of hope.

Never let go of hope.
One day you will see that it
all has finally come together.
What you have always wished for
has finally come to be.
You will look back and laugh
at what has passed
and you will ask yourself...
'How did I get through all of that?

It's Not What You See

We look.

We see.

We judge.

Often we judge someone
or a situation by using only our eyes.

Then we make the critical mistake
because we think we know how another feels
and we say
"Oh, I know exactly how you feel."

That is incorrect.
You may have experienced a similar situation,
but since we are all so different
in all the other aspects of our experiences,
circumstance and personality,
there is no real way to
"know exactly"
how another person feels.

For example:

Look at this tiny tree standing in the dark.

tree

Do you know where it is located?

Do you know how tall it stands?

Do you know the temperature outside?

No.

All you can tell is that:

There are a few brown leaves.
It is a skinny tree.
It is dark outside.
There is a street light in the distance.

Time passes and I begin to trust you
because we spend more time together,
so I show you more of the picture.

tree in the snow

Suddenly, you know that the tree stands in snow.

Do you know how much snow?

Do you know how long it has stood in snow?

Do you know where the tree is yet?

You can assume that the temperature is cold,
but you still don't know how cold.

Maybe we never get any closer
or spend any more time together,
so you never know anything more
about the little tree.

But then again,
maybe you make the effort
to love me and sacrifice for me,
and I begin to trust you a little more.
I start to feel comfortable and
I'm willing to show you more of the picture.

tree in lots of snow

Now you know there is a lot more snow
than you ever dreamed of,
but you still do not know...

Where is the tree located?

How much snow is there?

How tall is the tree?

What if the tree were you?

What if the tree is me?

Maybe you are in my family
or maybe you are my spouse
or best friend
and you think you know
everything about me,
the skinny tree
standing in the dark
and in the snow.

You piece together the pictures
and you are sure that
"you know exactly"
how I feel.

But you don't know exactly how I feel
and
I don't know exactly how you feel.
I can empathize,
sympathize
and be of service to you.
We can share,
chat,
blog,
tweet,
Facebook post,
talk on the phone,
work together,
eat together,
watch movies together,
and share the human experience,
but we won't ever know exactly
how each other feels.
However,
if we do not make the time to
listen to each other,
sacrifice for each other,
talk to each other
and
share the human experience with each other,
we won't even come close to
understanding each other.

So piece the pictures together
of the skinny little tree
standing in the dark
in the deep,
deep,
snow.

tree in deep snow

Think you know everything now?

Where is the tree located?

How tall is the tree?

What is the temperature outside?

Moral of the story:

It's not just what you see.
Take the time to get to know others
and let them get to know you,
but never judge them
because you'll never
know exactly
how anyone feels
just as they won't
know exactly
how you feel either.
That's where love starts.

Abominable Snow Blogger and Flakes

I often say that I should be a farmer's wife in the snow country because that is where I would feel most in my element. So even when I see one flake of snow, my heart goes pitter patter in anticipation and excitement!

A snowflake is a conglomeration of frozen ice crystals that eventually fall through the Earth's atmosphere and land pleasantly on the ground, trees and rooftops. Small snow crystals and nano-snowflakes can look alike, however, it is true that larger, more complex snowflakes do not look alike because they form at different rates and in different patterns based on the temperature and humidity changes during it's formation.

I have found and voraciously read a beautiful site called Snowflake.com. I highly suggest that you visit to see closeup photos of snowflakes,learn cool facts about snowflakes and watch all the snowflake movies!!! These movies show the formation of a snowflake in a matter of seconds and it is just too cool!

These closeup photos are magnificent!

I also found Make-a-Flake where I created my own snowflake which was not only very fun, but my flake was numbered. I'm so special.

For a modern and animated snowflake, I created a masterpiece at Create Your Own Snowflake. This would be great for children too. My daughter really got a kick out of it.

With the recent snow, I have been in heaven. Today when the sun was just about to set, we bundled up and went outside to take a few pictures in the snow. Of course, Alyssa is too glamorous and cool to bundle up much and poor Bella started whining because she was cold, but they made such a beautiful pair.

Then it was my turn (that is Granny if you are talking to Bella) to have my picture taken. So I took Bella, put her inside my warm coat and we tried to smile without having our faces crack in the cold. The sweet puppy stopped shivering because Granny knows how to bundle up properly!

Yeah, I heard you laughing! Well, all I can say is that I was warm and so was Bella!

Snow, Change, Family and Friends

When it gets cold outside, bears hibernate. What exactly is "hibernation" anyway? According to Webster's Dictionary, hibernate means to "pass the winter in a torpid or resting state" and "to be or become inactive or dormant."

With this metabolic depression in animals such as bears, their bodies slow down and they are said to "sleep through the winter" living on the fat they stored in the months preceding the hibernation. This is how the species survive since deep snow would impede their success at obtaining enough food to thrive.

Ahhh, snow.

Yesterday afternoon when we started on our journey to my sister's house for Christmas dinner, it had started to snow tiny little flurries that eventually turned into large flakes...that continued to fall through the rest of the evening...and all night long...and all day today. Obviously, being the girl who could live in flannel forever, I have been quite happy. I look out the window and I see...

snow falling, blowing and stacking up a little at a time.

I see enough snow to make footprints.

Those steps in the snow make me think about life.

Often, life is a struggle. Depending on our attitude and personality, we either breeze through it with flying colors, trudge through it with great success or cry and complain through it with eventual success or failure. So many events are completely out of our control. That one fact could be the lesson we are meant to learn - we can only control our actions and attitudes through the changes.

Change is inevitable.

Attitude is adjustable.

Growth is intentional.

"All changes,
even the most longed for,
have their melancholy;
for what we leave behind us
is a part of ourselves;
we must die to one life
before we can enter another."
~Anatole France~

Lately, I have been dying in one life.

Stuck in the dying.

Actually, it has been beyond my control and I have been desperately fighting to get through it with a semblance of success.

I'm not the only one.

I actually found a little comfort yesterday after my family gathering. When we arrived home it was snowing up a storm and I was feeling such a relief that the whole Christmas experience was over. Never have I felt this way about a holiday - most especially Christmas. Of course, that brought about a bit of guilt for feeling that way.

Anyway, shortly after arriving home, the phone rang and it was my mother. Christmas is and always has been Mom's favorite day of the year. She talked in her light and happy way about the snow, delicious food and her love for her family. Then she said, "I'm so glad Christmas is over."

I almost gasped, but I didn't want her to hear me so I didn't make a sound. I couldn't believe that Mrs. Christmas herself was glad that the holiday experience was over for 2010. Suddenly, I felt better and less like Mr. Grinch. I almost felt that I had permission not to feel guilty any more. If Santa's main Mrs. was relieved at the end of the day, I could be too!

Today I focused on relaxing.

My daughter cleaned her room SPOTLESSLY. I know she is seventeen years old but she cleaned. Seriously! She removed every poster on the wall, folded and hung every piece of clothing, changed her sheets, added a new bed skirt, moved the furniture, vacuumed, scrubbed her carpet, threw out trash, and the list just goes on and on. All the while, I sat watching the snow, surfing the internet, kissing on Bella, eating yummy food, talking to Turtle and thinking.

I thought a lot about how I must focus on healing my heart, mind and soul. It has been a rough year for me and many others I'm sure. We owe it to ourselves to find the peace and healing we need.

"The footprints you leave behind
will influence others.
There is no person who at
some time,
somewhere,
somehow,
does not lead another."

Have you thought about the new year looming ahead? What are you going to do for yourself?

This is the weekly post where I spotlight my Rockin' Friends who are the Top Nine active participants and loyal followers in my community! If you want to be mentioned here next week, then all it takes is to come in and start chatting with everyone in my community.

With a big thank you for their participation and friendship, here are the top three Rockin' Friends by category of achievement:

I'm so glad that I've been able to get to know and build friendships with all these lovely ladies as they have become active in my community and by reading their blogs. Be sure to add each of their blogs to your blogroll, but also come over and chat with them in my community.

For everyone mentioned in the top nine this week, feel free to grab the Rockin' Friend badge below and thank you for your participation!!

Until the spotlight next week...Happy Chatting Rockin' Friends!

Don't forget to add your blog URL to the comments at Woo Us To Your Blog and learn blogging tips that will help you have a polished blog and to increase your traffic! This week it is all about owning your own domain! Did you know the going rate for 2010 is only $10 per year?

Until next week...Kiss your family, hug your friends and don't forget to be the friend you would like to have around.

Your Own Domain - No More Blogspot.com

I have been receiving emails wanting to know the steps for moving a blog from Blogger to your own domain. Actually, it is quite easy, but let's back up a bit for a definition. My blog URL used to be http://theredheadriter.blogspot.com and was hosted by Blogger. I like the "theredheadriter" part, but I wanted to drop the "blogspot.com" and that requires paying for my own domain name.

DOMAIN NAME per Webster's definition:

"a sequence of usually alphanumeric characters (theredheadriter.com) that specifies a group of online resources (as of a particular company or person) and that forms part of the corresponding Internet addresses."After the switch, Blogger is the free "host" and my domain name through Blogger is "paid."

Per Wikipedia, an INTERNET DOMAIN HOST:

"companies that provide space on a server they own or lease for use by their clients as well as providing Internet connectivity, typically in a data center."Even if you want to be hosted by a company other than Blogger, it is best to follow these steps...

Go to your DASHBOARD and click SETTINGS

or if you are already at the dashboard of your blog, choose the SETTINGS TAB

Click the PUBLISHING sub-tab

Click the CUSTOM DOMAIN LINK

Type in the URL ADDRESS also known as the DOMAIN NAME you want to own. Remember, you are not going to change this, so be sure to pick a name that will be good from before you get pregnant, through all your child's growing years, after they graduate from school through well past when you become a grandparent. Get my drift?

Click the button to CHECK AVAILABILITY of the name you have chosen

When you have chosen a name that no one else owns, you will be taken to a "success" screen. Click the button to CONTINUE TO REGISTRATION

Put a check mark in the PRIVACY OPTIONS and fill out the rest of the form

Also be sure to put a check mark in the box next to "AUTOMATICALLY RENEW MY REGISTRATION EVERY YEAR"

When that is successfully completed, fill in all your PAYMENT information on the next screen (Google checkout)

You'll receive two emails:

The receipt for payment
Domain registration confirmation

Keep them. Save them. Don't forget where you put them. This is important information.

For the next 30 days, do not find another hosting company even if that is your final intention because Blogger - Google will do some major work for you. All your blogspot.com links/references will be linked and redirected to your new domain name.

For the first 3-7 days, when you log into to your new blog URL, you will see the redirect notice from your old blogspot.com URL. In my case, some of my readers saw it during the first 24 hours, but I saw it for 5 days. Yes, it drove me crazy!

The Feedburner and Google Follower information will automatically redirect without changing anything else.

Why own your own domain?

If you NEVER want to make MONEY on your blog AND obtaining a REALLY HUGE audience is NOT important, then you do not need your own domain name. However, if either of those statements are not true, you need to purchase your own domain.

It is really that simple. Believe me. I've surfed, researched and studied until my eyes have nearly bugged out of my head. It took me a year to determine that it boiled down to just those two facts. Now I wish I had gotten to that conclusion a whole lot sooner.

Do you have your own domain name? Leave it in the comments!

Do you want to switch to your own domain name?

The last "Woo Us To Your Blog" post explored Embedded Contact Forms. Do you remember which free service I suggested?

Feel free to enter either the main URL to your site or add each post you publish throughout the week in the comments. You don't have to do anything special, just drop your link in and get a little extra exposure to your site. I usually use the Linky site, but for some reason they are down today.

Until next week's wooing post, have fun and I will see you back here next week with another blogging tip.

I have a sculptured piece on my tree and it spells out in wood textured letters the word "Noel." According to the the dictionary, "Noel" is another word for "Christmas." Every time I read or hear that word, I think of that ever popular Christmas carol...

The first noel, the angels did say
Was to certain poor shepherds in fields as they lay
In fields where they lay keeping their sheep
On a cold winter's night that was so deep
Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel
Born is the King of Israel

They looked up and saw a star
Shining in the the East, beyond them far
And to the earth it gave great light
And so it continued both day and night
Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel
Born is the King of Israel

And by the light of that same star
Three wise men came from country far
To seek for a King was their intent
And to follow the star wherever it went
Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel
Born is the King of Israel

This star drew night to the northwest
Over Bethlehem it took its rest
And there it did both stop and stay
Right over the place where Jesus lay
Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel
Born is the King of Israel

Then entered in those wise men three
Full reverently upon their knee
And offered there in his presence
Their gold, and myrrh, and frankincense
Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel
Born is the King of Israel

I will be spending the afternoon and evening with my family celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ, our love for Him and each other.

I'm also thinking about you and loving you for your wonderfulness during the past year.

I wish you and your families a very Merry Christmas.

Observations and Secrets

Today, I finally did a little Christmas and grocery shopping. Last year at this same time I was putting on the finishing touches and this year I just started buying and making gifts. That is a rather dramatic difference, however, I did notice something else while I was out and about. Although the traffic was horrendous and the stores rather packed with people looking to buy the perfect gift, the stores are completely stocked with merchandise.

Seriously, everything and I mean everything that I was looking for, I found without hardly any effort. I was actually taken aback because I thought I would find the shelves barren.

The abundance of products is just another reaffirmation that the economy is still lagging and people's wallets are much emptier. I guess my family is in good company!

Being the nerd that I am, when I got home I sat down to find the latest economic report online at the Bureau of Labor Statistics. The U.S. unemployment rate for November 2010 is 9.8% and obviously, that is a whole bunch of people and definitely the reason that stores are still filled with stuff.

It will be nice when the economy is booming and there is a more dependable flow of money for our country.

Anyway...

I try to have original and personalized gifts for my family each year. I think I've made one that will totally thrill my sister and mother. It is simple, but priceless. I'd tell you what it is, but I don't want to spoil the secret! I will show you a peek...

Do you think they will guess the gift I made?

I don't think so.

A Little Goes A Long Way

Although I still feel like Scrooge,
I found the energy and gumption to put up the tree tonight.

It was rough and I felt nothing as I hung the ornaments.
I kept thinking about how I had to make sure
that the dog didn't eat any of the metal hangers
or she would be on the brink of death again.

I also remembered happy times when the girls were younger
and the awe on their faces as they began decorating.
So much life and energy and happiness
surrounded us on those special occasions.

Tonight I was alone with the little tree
and all my memories.

I have Thursday off, so I am going to try to make some presents
and prepare for the cooking day on Friday with Alyssa.
That will be my favorite time of the holidays!
Cooking with Alyssa could often be a television show
because of the similarities to the
chocolate factory episode with Lucille Ball.
Yes, it is a blast to cook with Alyssa.

I'm so grateful that I will have the opportunity
to enjoy my daughter again this year.
Having come so close to losing her,
I will always be even more grateful for the times
we spend together.