The Redhead Riter - Witty, Intelligent & Addictive: 8/1/10

Looking Forward Backward

Driving through the country as I often do, helps to clear my mind so that I can concentrate on the basics of life.

In many ways, my personality can be aggravating to some people because I'm never satisfied with just being and doing nothing. I must have a goal in sight and a few more on the list at different stages of accomplishment in order to feel like a valuable human being.

Sometimes that's good.

Other times it's not so good.

Let's discuss goals for a moment.

goal

Instead of reading through that going 100 mph, take a moment to ponder the meaning.

The end toward which effort is directed.

Hmmmm....

Every day each of us has the freedom to choose how we spend our 1,440 minutes. There are those things that we "have to do" and those things which we "want to do." The difference between the two choices is about as vast as the unique function of the mind of a man and a woman.

Goals motivate toward a particular end outcome or result. It takes energy, exertion, determination, labor, work and often a whole lot of sweat in order to achieve the endeavor.

A goal can come under the heading of "have to do" or "want to do."

For instance...

Not everything in life is cut and dry. Upon awakening each morning, we start making unconscious choices which are called habits. These unthinking tasks often take up a huge amount of our day. In order to succeed at the goals that we set for ourselves, we must ensure that our habits do not get in the way.

"In the absence of
clearly-defined goals,
we become strangely loyal
to performing daily trivia
until ultimately
we become enslaved by it."~Robert Heinlein~

Some of our unconscious actions are motivated by our history. So a great place to begin with implementing a goal-oriented life is to resolve any issues we have with people or experiences in our past. Go through the pain of coping with heartaches and done-you-wrong situations. Keeping the obstacle in the mix is like having a huge mountain in the middle of a highway. Your course is impeded...sometimes permanently.

The other life events and learnings acquired can be the catalyst for motivating you towards success with your goals. I call this looking forward backward. Our lives are rich with knowledge that we have picked up. By effectively using the lessons learned in our past, we can victoriously achieve our goals easier and faster.

There are times that life can become overwhelming.

Nothing matters.

Everything becomes a blur.

drive in the country

Unfortunately, bad things happen to good people every day which is why tying up the loose ends of our past becomes so important. We simply do not have time to wallow in them. Get them out of the way and set your eyes looking ahead.

There are several steps that can be taken to ensure successful completion of the goals you set for yourself:

Set a specific goal ensuring that it realistic and attainable
Brainstorm towards acquiring the success and plan
Write the goal down
Believe in your talents and capabilities
Ignite the flame of desire in accomplishing the vision
Eliminate the negative people and increase the positive
Reveal the goal because often others can help you in ways not formerly known
Commit to the goal
Assert yourself
Work harder than the average person
Keep a check on your own attitude and control your emotions
Do it "your" way taking into account the failures of others
Stay focused
Refuse to fail or give up
Be patient and remember that "Rome wasn't built in a day"
Take time to relax
Review and evaluate progress
Celebrate measurable milestones
Persevere with determination
Have courage and do not faint during the final hour
Don't stop until success is attained

Remember that you can attain all you ever dreamed. Just carry the good part of your past with you to motivate your actions in the future towards the success you desire and deserve.

"Every success is built on
the ability to do better
than good enough."

It's been great chatting with you, but now I have to clear my mind by taking a long ride in the country.

drive in the country

Riding with the windows rolled down,
the radio off,
and my hair blowing in the wind,

I Don't Have A Nose

Nothing is safe.

It may suffer a soft mauling.

Other items get gently chewed.

If a silky tag is attached, the item is much safer
because Bella enjoys silky tags best of all.

The tag suffers and the toy does not.

There are also toys made specifically to be chewed upon

and Bella's tiny, sharp teeth bite hard leaving
distinctive teeth marks, but it doesn't ruin the toy.

Bella has a cute little brush that she can't really chew

because it pokes her like a porcupine,
so she gives up rather quickly.

There are also large stuffed animals
that get tossed to and fro,

but Bella tires quickly because
they weigh much more

than the tiny little stuffed toys.

All toys aren't lucky enough to have silky tags.

Busily putting all my belongings at least
three feet from the floor,

Rockin' Friends Spotlight - Encourage Light Bulb Moments

"Taking an interest in
what others are
thinking and doing
is often a much more
powerful form of
encouragement than praise."~Robert Martin~

Thinking only of yourself equals a very lonely life. In order to enjoy a full life, one needs to be unselfish with their time, talents, emotions, support, intellect, and financial resources.

One of the greatest attributes of a true friend is someone who will encourage your success. The encouragement will provide inspiration and hope to persevere toward the goal or through the hardships and struggles.

Putting ideas and goals out there for family, friends and strangers to pass judgment is not an easy undertaking. It is much easier to hide our talents to avoid failure which in turn ensures that we will never enjoy success because there will not be any fruits from our labors.

How can we encourage success for family and friends?

Have and show a genuine interest. Being phoney or aloof won't cut it.
If you truly care, their important milestones and journeys will be important to you too.
Respond to problems, concerns and doubts with hope and encouragement.
Compliment the person. A "Great job!" or "Well done!" whether it is face-to-face, a text message, phone call, email or card can go a long way.
Listen. Listen. Listen. Make it about them, so just listen.
Don't interrupt especially with a story about how great you are because you did this or that.
Offer advice when asked. Sometimes people don't want you to fix it.
Ask for advice about things within their realm of expertise in order to boost their morale.
What is private or secret should remain private and secret in order to build a bond of trust so that the words you speak will be believed.
Never assume they know you care. Say it and show it.
Respect their effort. It isn't easy accomplishing anything. Hard work pays off, but it is still hard work.
Give them space, but be there when you're needed.
You don't always have to speak. Sometimes just being in their presence is enough to comfort them or help them get into action.
If you notice the accomplishments or improvements without being asked, it will make your opinion more valuable.
Avoid criticism, devaluing and ridiculing the person or their ideas.

When someone has a light bulb moment there is an innate excitement and desire for accomplishment. Success doesn't feel as great if you are all alone, so encourage others to their greatness. Share in the motivation. By unselfishly helping them reach their goals, you will also find rewards beyond measure.

This is the weekly post where I spotlight my Rockin' Friends who are the Top Nine active participants and loyal followers in my community! If you want to be mentioned here next week, then all it takes is to come in and start chatting with everyone in my community.

With a big thank you for their participation and friendship, here are the Rockin' Friends this week in order of most participation:

This week the special spotlight is shining on Jamie of Avant Garde Parenting. Jamie's "About Me" is as follows:

"Who am I? Someone who is passionate about parenting. I have a PhD in Developmental Psychology. I study parents and kids and I'm interested in learning about, sharing, and hearing about ways people parent. I am also really passionate about research and what research says about parenting."

After reading the profile, I usually read the latest post on a blog when I start getting to know the blogger and this time was no exception to the rule. The first and latest post on Jamie's blog was "Coming up with what I'm doing this weekend." Although I was reading about how she is starting A Parent of the Week on her blog, which I think is fabulous, I still had one thought turning over in my mind. Since my husband's career is also in psychology and he has degrees that could wallpaper a house, I wondered if Jamie had much in common with him. I didn't have to wonder long. When I read "Academics love talking about themselves," I actually laughed out loud from just that one simple sentence. Obviously, Jamie and my husband have something very basic in common.

I love that this particular"Wordless Wednesday" wasn't wordless! It's a great peek inside Lori's mornings.

I have heard parents say way too often, "It was good enough for me as a child." Well, guess what? Times change. Society changes. Whatever was good enough for you as a child probably isn't good enough for a child living in 2010. New rules need to apply. Jamie's post "Decisions, decisions" addresses one of the things that have changed. It is a great post and well worth the reading especially if you have small children.

"Five Ways to a happy, peaceful grocery shopping trip with your preschooler" should be required reading before a mother ever steps foot outside of her home. If I could have a dollar for every time I have bit my tongue instead of screaming at an ill behaved parent in the grocery store, I would be a millionaire.

I'm so glad that I've been able to get to know Jamie better since she has become active in my community and by reading her blog. Be sure to add Avant Garde Parenting to your blogroll, but also come over and chat with Jamie in my community.

The community challenge this week was fun, exciting and as Lori said earlier this week (paraphrased) "You go to bed and wake up to find that everyone was busy while you slept!" Thank you to all the participants for working so hard at making the community a success. Big hugs from me!

The three winners in the challenge are (in the order they were drawn)are:

Congratulations to Marlene, Katlupe, and Kristi! Thank you for being Rockin' Friends! We all appreciate the effort you have made to get to know us better and supporting our individual blogging efforts.

For everyone mentioned in the top nine this week, feel free to grab the Rockin' Friend badge below and thank you for your participation!!

Until the spotlight next week...Happy Chatting Rockin' Friends!

Don't forget to add your blog URL to the Linky at Woo Us To Your Blog and learn blogging tips that will help you have a polished blog and to increase your traffic! This week it is all about letting me help you!!

Until next week...Kiss your family, hug your friends and don't forget to be the friend you would like to have around.

Glowing like a 250 watt bulb,

The Redhead Riter

Woo Us To Your Blog - Let Me Help

The last couple months my email account has been on fire with people asking me questions about how to increase their followers and readership. "How can you help me?" seems to be the question of the day. My answer has been getting longer and longer with each email because brief explanations are hard for me...in case you haven't noticed. If I keep it up at this pace, I will have written a blogging book in no time.

In lieu of a two hundred page book, I will provide you with a synopsis of some ways I have found to assist other bloggers in increasing their blog traffic.

blogging tips for increased traffic

The Ways I Can Help

I have 6 "blog roll blogs" You can read about them here. If you would like to be listed on one, there are two options. Either post my button (found here) or if buttons aren't your thing, contact me for monthly pricing paid via PayPal.

Every Wednesday night, I post my "Tell The Truth Thursday" question with a Linky. Write a post on your blog answering that week's question (found in my right hand side bar on The Redhead Riter blog) and then drop that post's URL in the Linky on my blog. Free advertisement and exposure.

Every Sunday night I post the "Woo Us To Your Blog" with a Linky. Nothing is required for this one. Just drop your main URL or every time you post during the week, come back and drop that post's URL in the Linky. Free advertisement and exposure.

The Sunday night "Woo Us To Your Blog" also provides blogging tips from very basic to complicated.

My BlogFrog Community (found here) is a great way to gain free advertisement and exposure . If you make comments often and are among the top 10 commenters in my community, not only do you show up on the Forum tab right side bar as being a Super Star Rockin' Friend, but on Sunday night I recognize the top commenters in my Rockin' Friends Spotlight. Check out the previous spotlighted Rockin' Friends.

Also in my BlogFrog Community, I have a weekly goal. If you are successful with the goal, you are spotlighted and sometimes I offer a prize.

I also offer advertising on all my blogs quite inexpensively. My goal is to help others, not break their bank accounts. If you need me to help you create an advertisement, let me know. We can chat on the phone if you would like and you can tell me exactly how you want it to look. I would be happy to make it for you free of charge.

Commenting on my posts will not only brighten my day because I love to hear from you, but will put your blog out there for others to see. That doesn't mean leave a comment that says, "Come visit my blog at blah, blah" or make a totally unrelated comment proving you didn't read the post. I believe that is the #1 way to discourage other people to visit your blog. It makes you look selfish and greedy. Unless you know that the blog you are visiting doesn't mind you leaving your blog's URL, don't take the chance of offending them by leaving it. Remember, blogging is about relationships, relationships, relationships. I often visit blogs that I found in the comment sections of other blogs by simply clicking on their name or photo next to the comment. There are ways to play nice.

In case you haven't noticed, there is also a "Recent Comments" widget in my side bar, so that is also another way to be seen.

Technical Stuff About My Blog

In the right sidebar of The Redhead Riter blog you will find labeled bars...Ways to Relax, Chuckle of the Day, Rockin' Friends, Woo Us To Your Blog, etc. Clicking these links will take you to the posts associated with those topics.

At the top of my blog you will find a navigation bar that will take you to my 6 "Blog Roll" blogs.

There are little photos at the top of my header which when clicked will take you to the story associated with the picture. Some of them are top read posts and others are simply posts I really enjoy reading over and over again. Yes, I re-read my own posts. When all is said and done and the lights go out, I have to be my #1 fan because this is my life after all, so I better be loving it!

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Was this post purely unselfish on my part? I'm afraid not. From now on when I receive an email with the burning question of how I can personally assist others with increasing their blog traffic, I can simply refer them to this post. How's that for being organized and using my time wisely?

Last week we learned about the fact that size matters.. Do you remember the message or did your mind just go into the gutter? Men, don't answer that because the women know your answer already and we love you anyway.

As always, attached is the weekly Linky to enter either the main URL to your site or add each post you publish throughout the week.

Until next week's wooing post, enjoy your blog, and let me help! Do you remember that song?

Being fed grapes and fanned by a gorgeous man,

Not really, but I'm taking volunteers for the fan position.

Celebrate Leather and Dirty Men

Leather is created by tanning animal hide or skin and as sad as I am to say it, most of the hide comes from cattle which is just a fancy way of saying cows. Tanning is a process that permanently alters the protein structure of an animal skin and makes it into a product that does not easily decompose.

Sounds like the opposite of what happens when you become a parent. I think I decompose every five minutes.

That definitely explains where the threat comes from parents that sounds something like, "If you scuff the toes of your patent leather dress shoes, I will tan your hide."

Have you ever heard that before? Well, if not, it must be a Southern farming family thing.

I love the fragrance of leather. The moment I open the door to a leather shop, it hits me and I spend my time smelling and feeling everything.

Burns Saddlery Cowboy Shop, Park City, Utah

Burns Saddlery Cowboy Shop, Park City, Utah

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I'm not sure if my love of leather started because my mother watched every cowboy show ever produced while I was growing up or because I lived in Texas most of my life where western leather shops became my second home.

On second thought, maybe it is just the vision of a sweaty, dirty, hard working cowboy that entices me to leather.
Cowboy

Anyway...

Since leather is so durable, flexible and can be tanned in so many different colors, it is used in a wide variety of items. I get used to thinking that leather is for shoes, purses and belts, but the uses for leather are almost as limitless as lace.

leather belt

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leather book

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leather cincher

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leather bracelet

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leather notebook

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leather wrap bracelet

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leather bib necklace

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leather journal

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leather hat

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leather purse

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leather necklace rope

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leather mens bracelet

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leather clutch

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leather shoes

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leather wristlet

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Yesterday I had a collection of lace and today there was a collection of leather. I believe there is song about Leather and Lace. That probably just aged me didn't it?

Lounging in my big buckled leather belt with a leather Stetson atop my head,

Sorry cows.