What Makes A Man Hot or Sexy?

by Sherry Riter in Evan,Family,Relationship

We learn from very early in our childhood that there is a definite difference between men and women. I don’t believe we really realize how vast those differences are until we are older and then some women, well, they never quite get it which is why they nag. That is my opinion, of course.

Because I want my daughter to always remember that she was conceived by two people in love, I am going to talk about her father (my ex-husband) as it pertains to the HF – also known as the Hot Factor which could also be called the Sexy Factor. I’m sure he won’t mind a bit.

When I met Alyssa’s father, Evan, we were both very young. I was a studious, conservative, naive young woman and he was an older, well-traveled, very tanned, muscled “man” with a mustache, a little scar next to his eye and thick, curly, dark hair. He reminds me of the rugged actor named Tom Selleck. Anyway, I was mesmerized by his brawn and strength which was amplified because of my pale, frail, feminine appearance. We were total opposites like night and day.

I thought Evan was “hot” in every sense of the word as did many other women of all ages which was evidenced every time we went shopping, to church or school. Women stared and he was totally oblivious.

Alyssa seems to think that her parents have been “old” forever, so I have included a few pictures to remind her that her Dad was once young, perceived as “hot” and quite a catch by many.

Evan, 1987 Utah


Evan, 1987 California


Evan, 1987 Texas

What makes a man hot?

Let’s see…a flannel shirt in the middle of summer, leather pants in a 102 degree desert…No! Not that kind of hot!

The HF (Hot Factor) is different for every woman and it changes as we get older.


Maybe so and maybe not.

I have been and always will be a sucker for a tough, manly man wearing tight fitting jeans, a flannel shirt and rugged mountain boots. But then again, a dark business suit, white shirt and loosened silk tie is equally as appealing.

One time I read (no I don’t remember where, so you don’t have to believe me) that the majority of women found men in a pair of blue jeans and fitted white t-shirt was the sexiest look for men. Funny, huh?

As I have gotten older, I’ve found more things than just appearance make a man hot and high on the HF (Hot Factor) scale. Here are a few of those traits listed in no particular order:

  • Confidence – When a man is confident, it is evident not only in his body language, but also his choices and actions
  • Unselfishness
  • Can play a musical instrument
  • Humility – He can admit his own faults and makes no excuses for them
  • Gentlemanliness
  • Intelligent
  • Doesn’t talk incessantly
  • Enjoys being a Father – A man who will change a diaper, read books, play Frisbee and teach his children to ride the bike
  • Eye Contact – He looks at you in the eye when he’s listening and speaking
  • Sense of Humor
  • Has a great singing voice
  • Doesn’t mind getting dirty because he is handy – He can fix the car, mow the lawn and grow a garden and all the while he is dripping with sweat
  • Knows when to get clean and put his best foot forward
  • Wears cologne, but not too much of it
  • Sensitive to children, women, the elderly, people who are ill and anyone in need
  • Smiles
  • Cooks
  • Doesn’t mind cleaning up the house and washing clothes
  • Conversationalist – He is interesting to talk to and can carry on a topic appropriate conversation
  • Trustworthy
  • Strong
  • Dances well

Do I think one man will or can be all those things? Um…No! There is no such a thing as a perfect man just as there is not a perfect woman.

So ladies, but most importantly Alyssa – Do not search for the perfect man, but decide ahead of time the things that are the most important traits you want in a husband and don’t settle. I didn’t settle with your Dad even though I was blown away because he ranked high on the physical HF (Hot Factor) scale. I knew he was a good man and that was hot too.

I will say it again…Do not settle for someone just because they are the only person asking you out right now or the only guy you know your age or any other of the numberless reasons you can concoct in your head.

If you are going to get married for-ev-er and you want to be happy, choose your partner wisely. Don’t be so overwhelmed by their hotness that you abandon all rational thinking.

If you are already with your partner and it feels like it has been forever (just kidding), take the time to remember why you thought he was hot to begin with and rekindle those emotions. Your husband’s will thank me – uh – I mean, your husband’s will thank you.

Now it is your turn to spill your guts. What do you think makes a man hot? What do you find hot about your partner?

Disclaimer: My ex-husband did not threaten my life or pay me to write this post (laughing hysterically at my own joke!)

The Redhead Riter

This post was written by...

Sherry Riter is also known as The Redhead Riter. Sherry is witty, intelligent and addictive as she writes about cooking, family, marriage, failures, blogging tips, art, humor, inspiration, travel, PTSD and aging. Her goal is to inspire, motivate, educate and to make her audience laugh. Sherry embraces being a redhead and helps others to see the redhead point of view…"In some eras redheads were worshipped while others thought us witches. Personally, I like the former and think every day is 'Love a redhead day!'" She can also be found on Facebook, Google+, Pinterest, StumbleUpon, Linkedin, tweeting as @TheRedheadRiter and you can subscribe to her free blog feed.

{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }

1 EmptyNester November 30, 2010 at 2:17 am

I really like your list…most of mine are on there.


2 Holly November 30, 2010 at 8:04 am

Great list AND advice!! ;D
Hubby #1 had 4 of these… and the sense of humor one was usually sarcasm aimed in my direction. Yeah… REAL WINNER, there!!
Hubby now has 20 and their the more important ones. He jokingly says he used to play piano by ear but it bruised up the side of his face… Or he plays the radio real well!! HAH!! He also can sing OK… but he doesn't think so. He CAN carry a tune as long as no one next to him is singing a different part. He says he'll sing a SOLO… SO LOW you can't hear him… OR "Far Far Away"… then you won't have to hear him… Yes, that shows you a taste of his humor… LOL!! I'm keeping him!! ;D


3 CheeseWhineandWhispers November 30, 2010 at 9:45 am

Hiya Red, I have been on my own for a while now but I have to say I know the HF when I see it….trouble is I see it so rarely….and because I won't settle I travel the planet alone (for now anyway)..your list is great…top of my list..confidence, intelligence, sense of humour…. gets me every time 🙂 CWW


4 katlupe November 30, 2010 at 1:48 pm

It took me three tries to get it right! I have to say hubby has many of those traits on your list and I wasn't even aware they would make him hot. LOL BTW, your ex does look like Tom Selleck! Now that is HOT!


5 Quincy December 1, 2010 at 6:13 am

Being the hot and sexy guy I am… LOL! Yeah, right!

I think confidence is the key to being hot. A man who believes in himself can get a woman to believe in him. But, he has to be a man of action. "All flash and no dash" will be exposed at some point.

I try to be a man of action. The Mrs. once asked me (when we were dating) if I was a passive type of guy and I replied, "I take action when it comes to something I want. I'm so full of action that my name should be a verb."

I guess that corny line worked on her 🙂


6 The Redhead Riter December 1, 2010 at 12:30 pm

Empty Nester,

Great minds think alike (wink)


7 The Redhead Riter December 1, 2010 at 12:31 pm


I'm definitely glad you found hubby #2 !


8 The Redhead Riter December 1, 2010 at 12:32 pm


Glad you liked the list. Your top three are definitely among my top too.


9 The Redhead Riter December 1, 2010 at 12:33 pm


Third times the charm!

Yeah, I love Tom Selleck too. Have you seen his new show? Oh my goodness, he is still the same HOT!


10 The Redhead Riter December 1, 2010 at 12:35 pm


You laughed at the first sentence of your comment, but I bet your wife in all seriousness totally believes it! You have a great personality and it comes through in your blog and your comments. So I agree…Hot is as Hot does!


11 Doreen Lombardo December 1, 2010 at 12:42 pm


Click on the link to my blog for my answer to this wonderful post.


12 Quincy December 2, 2010 at 1:00 am

Awwwww, thanks, Red!


13 Danielle-Marie December 21, 2010 at 4:44 pm

I am 24 years old and I can honestly say I've had a crush on my fiance since I was 12. I was his papergirl. He answered the door when I came to collect. His fake bleach blonde hair and undercut (hey, it was the 90's!) were absolutely irresistible to me. We didn't end up together until later in life and by the that time he had ditched the bleach and settled for a more modern hair cut but his piercing blue eyes hadn't changed a bit. For some reason, I've always loved when a man wears a baseball cap. And baggie hooded sweaters. And DC shoes. His glasses suited him. His smile made me melt. He was hilarious, flirtatious and quite frankly, "remeeting" him was basically love at first sight. We've been inseparable ever since. Over the years I've fallen more and more in love with him as he became a wonderful father to our children. He is a responsible man who likes to take care of his family. He is smart, driven, and enjoys a good time. He's not perfect but who is and why would I want him to be? The fact that we make a great team together just makes me love him more.


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