Blogs, Bellies, Booties and Breasts

by Sherry Riter in Attitude,Self-Development  

I have a blog.

Actually, I have eight blogs and that alone would prove my point, but then this posting would be too short and borning with only two sentences and no pictures. Therefore, let’s continue.

I read and officially “follow” a whole bunch of blogs.

Writing and reading blogs takes time even if you type fast and speed read. Often, I get caught up in blogging and I don’t get enough rest.

I’ve never had a six pack belly. I have the terrible habit of looking at women and comparing myself. I know! I know! I post about not doing that all the time, but I have the same problems as you do. But the moment I see delicious food, I don’t think about my belly flab any more. That thought is like yesterday – gone, gone and over. Of course, I eat the things I shouldn’t and regret it later especially if it is sugary and makes me pass out from sugar overload due to my lovely diabetes.

I can’t forget the booties either. In the winter, it’s a little easier because we all wear sweaters, flannel shirts or big jackets so the bootie is somewhat hidden. However, it is now May which means bright sunshine, warmer temperatures, shorts and perfectly tone and tiny booties. I’m not talking about mine. Your booties are perfect and mine is…well…sat on all the time and is wider. I don’t get exercise because I am too busy working, blogging, filling my belly and sitting on my bootie. All of which just makes my bootie bigger. It is such a vicious circle.

Other than the fact I have been semi-bashing myself, do you know what all those things have in common? No?


I am obsessed with blogs and the internet. My voracious appetite for knowledge appears to be unquenchable, as well as, my desire for delicious food. No matter how much I desire a flat tummy and cute bootie, my obsessions seem to win day after day. I am so happy blogging, eating and sitting on my bootie, that I hardly think about it…well, that’s true most of the time.

Sometimes these obsessions can wreak havoc with my self-esteem, but that is a typical obsessive attitude. Pulling one way and another constantly either means I’m extreme or crazy. I choose the former, thank you.

There are steps that can be taken to help overcome obsessions, but right now at this point in my life, I’m choosing to keep them. I have plenty of time to work on them all and if I don’t have time, it won’t matter anyway will it?!

Oh, you’re wondering what breasts have to do with this topic of conversation? I want more of them without implants. Not actually more breasts (ummmmm, please, two is enough), but I would like the two I have to be bigger, fuller, faster than a speeding bullet…no, no, I got confused…fluffier. Doesn’t that sound so gorgeous? I can imagine saying:

I have full and fluffy breasts.

That’s in my dreams. That’s why I had to cut the Victoria Secrets model’s head off in the photo. I’m too jealous of her breasts. I won’t tell you that my mom is like that picture. Oops, Mom. I’m sorry. It slipped out before I knew what I was typing.

It makes me have nightmares when I hear women say, “I want a breast reduction.” If I had to roll the girls around in a wheel barrel, I would still want them!

(wheel barrel?)

Second thought, maybe not quite that big.

Maybe a full and fluffy E cup. It even sounds beautiful.


Ahhhh, one more time. Say it with me.


The Redhead Riter

This post was written by...

Sherry Riter is also known as The Redhead Riter. Sherry is witty, intelligent and addictive as she writes about cooking, family, marriage, failures, blogging tips, art, humor, inspiration, travel, PTSD and aging. Her goal is to inspire, motivate, educate and to make her audience laugh. Sherry embraces being a redhead and helps others to see the redhead point of view…"In some eras redheads were worshipped while others thought us witches. Personally, I like the former and think every day is 'Love a redhead day!'" She can also be found on Facebook, Google+, Pinterest, StumbleUpon, Linkedin, tweeting as @TheRedheadRiter and you can subscribe to her free blog feed.

{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Tree May 15, 2010 at 5:53 am

I actually had boobs and a butt like that at one time….now they've both gone SOUTH! lmao I get the whole "obsessive" blogging thing too. It's just so much fun, but not too great as exercise. LOL


2 Oh Sew Good May 15, 2010 at 11:08 am

Well if you spend that much time on the computer with your blogs, your eyes and fingers are getting a good work and must be in tremendous shape. 🙂


3 Chantal May 15, 2010 at 12:10 pm

I've started gaining the weight that I lost. I need it back. I was 96 pounds and now I'm about 112.
The booties where gone, the breast was gone. I was a B and now an A.
My booties is just fine now, at least my hubby is happy! And so am I! As for the obsession of blogging, I have it too! I realy enjoy reading your post. I like your humour!


4 Lin May 15, 2010 at 1:27 pm

I would love to go back to having a butt & boobs like that!

Maybe I should invest in these jeans that lift the backside, just like the bra's do for your boobs!! lol


5 Bossy Betty May 15, 2010 at 2:41 pm

I understand your obsession with blogs. Bellies and Booties–OK, but honey, your haul 'em around with a wheelbarrow breasts? Well, maybe you should re-think that a little.


6 Jamie May 15, 2010 at 8:21 pm

If we lived in a world where is was possible to donate the boobies, I would so Donate mine to you! Well a few cup sizes anyways, 🙁 I was the only 3rd grader wearing a bra.

ps. I'm quickly becoming obsessed w/blogging xD


7 Grandma Yellow Hair May 16, 2010 at 12:22 am

OMG how funny is this post….glad I stopped by here today.
Take care and keep blogging


8 Teresha@Marlie and Me May 16, 2010 at 2:18 pm

You made be roar with laughter reading this! I doubt that there is anything seriously wrong with you (except the diabetes…promise to cut back on the sugars, okay?), but I hear what you are saying. The women in my family all have large knockers, the boobie gene skipped me. I now have full B only because I'm nursing. I might have to nurse forever, ha!


9 *~Petra~* May 17, 2010 at 3:24 am

I so wish my obsession could be with exercise and not with food… but alas, no. :/


10 ibeeeg May 19, 2010 at 2:42 am

Great post, thanks for the laugh. I think almost all women think as you do, maybe not the exact points but certainly about our bodies. I have a new neighbor, she looks great – an athlete type body. I am envious, but I also have children…she does not…not yet anyway. I think having kids has changed my body greatly. So be it…I keep telling myself.

By the way, rethink the cup size, you do not want to be an "E"…believe me, large is not always good.


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