Chuckle of the Day – Men Are So Lucky!

by Sherry Riter in Chuckle,Health

Chuckle of the Day

If it is possible to find humor in a mammogram, this is it…

The Power Outage

At my recent assault trial, I offered a plea of “Guilty with an explanation.” The judge asked me what my explanation was, so I told my story.

“Your Honor,” I said, “I had a mammogram appointment, which I actually kept. I was met with: ‘Hi! I’m Belinda!’ This perky clipboard carrier smiled from ear to ear, tilted her head to one side and crooned, ‘All I need you to do is step into this room right here, strip to the waist, then slip on this gown. Everything clear?’

I’m thinking, ‘Belinda, try decaf. This ain’t rocket science.’

Belinda skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.

With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left and said, ‘Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can get everything?’


‘Fine’, I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck and finish me off? My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other breast wedged between those two 4 inch pieces of square glass) when we heard, then felt a zap!

Complete darkness and the power went off! ‘Oh, maintenance is working. Bet they hit a snag.’ Belinda said, and headed for the door. ‘Excuse me! You’re not leaving me in this vise alone are you?’ I shouted.

Belinda kept going and said, ‘Oh, you fussy puppy…the door’s wide open so you’ll have the emergency hall lights. I’ll be right back.’

Before I could shout ‘NOOOO!’ she disappeared. And that’s exactly how Bubba and Earl, maintenance men extraordinaire, found me … half-naked with part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life, and the other part smashed between glass!

After exchanging a polite ‘Hi, how’s it going’ type greeting, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off. Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible ‘Uh, yes, yes I did thanks.’

‘You bet, take care’ Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I’d been standing in the line at the grocery store.

Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin. Making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, ‘Oh I am sooo sorry!’ The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?’

And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the clamps….”

The judge could hardly contain her laughter as she said ‘Case Dismissed!!!’

The Redhead Riter

This post was written by...

Sherry Riter is also known as The Redhead Riter. Sherry is witty, intelligent and addictive as she writes about cooking, family, marriage, failures, blogging tips, art, humor, inspiration, travel, PTSD and aging. Her goal is to inspire, motivate, educate and to make her audience laugh. Sherry embraces being a redhead and helps others to see the redhead point of view…"In some eras redheads were worshipped while others thought us witches. Personally, I like the former and think every day is 'Love a redhead day!'" She can also be found on Facebook, Google+, Pinterest, StumbleUpon, Linkedin, tweeting as @TheRedheadRiter and you can subscribe to her free blog feed.

{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Mommies-Miracles March 18, 2010 at 5:30 pm

That is absolutely funny! I love it!


2 Dame Nuisance March 18, 2010 at 5:38 pm

OMG! If that's a true story and not fiction, I'm surprised little miss perky didn't find her clipboard shoved where the sun don't shine. What kind of sick Sadist invented the mammogram anyway? 10 to 1 it wasn't a woman. There's got to be a better way to screen for breast cancer without taking what time, breastfeeding and gravity have already ravaged and smashing it between two plates of glass. Who's with me? Anyone?


3 Pam Ponder March 18, 2010 at 6:08 pm

LOL I have a funny on my blog here is the link!! you'll love the story I have posted and feel free to enter the giveaway as well..

your sure to get a jiggle!!


4 Absolutely Positive March 18, 2010 at 7:00 pm

That is hilarious!! Hee heee! And yes, Dame N, I am totally with you!! This process was obviously invented by a MAN!! Thanks Redhead, that is the best laugh I've had in a while! 🙂



5 Teresa @ ? TOO MANY HEARTBEATS ? March 18, 2010 at 9:43 pm


Don't ya just wanna slap those perky girls who have never in their life had their, um, breasties smushed? LOL! :=)

Teresa <><


6 Tim King March 18, 2010 at 11:04 pm

OMG. That's horrible! (You girls sometimes have an awful sense of humor. <g> )



7 Organizing Mommy March 19, 2010 at 12:30 am

2 hours!!?? Are you serious? Are you going to press charges? That's insane.


8 Trina March 19, 2010 at 3:01 pm

That was funny as heck! Thanks for the laugh.


9 The Redhead Riter March 19, 2010 at 9:25 pm

I wonder if it is a true story too because I can't imagine having to stand there for two hours!!!!


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