Life, Aging and Death

As I continue to age, my appreciation for the "ordinary" things has increased abundantly. With the passing of Farah Fawcett, Michael Jackson and Billy Mays this weekend, I am even more thankful for my health and the relationships I enjoy.

I received this in an email today and found it to be both thought provoking and encouraging.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, and my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4:00 a.m. and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 & 70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set. My body has been through many illnesses to get to this point and I'm still able to enjoy it. They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be.

And I shall eat dessert every single day (if I feel like it).

Hmmmm...That sounds...empowering!

"There is no such thing in anyone's life as an unimportant day."
~Alexander Woolcott~ Tweet

My Famous Family

I want to share with you my "famous family" and introduce you to them in a fun way. I like being able to have that connection of a "name with a face" when I am in a conversation or reading stories in books and blogs and this seemed like a very appropriate way of helping you to also have a visual image.

Aunt Barbara

Teresa (Mom) & Tom (StepDad)

Aubrey (Dad)

Audrey (Sister)

Terry (Brother-In-Law)

Brittany (niece)

Alyssa (daughter)

The Redhead Riter acting like Martha Stewart

The magazines will be at the stands first thing in the morning, so don't forget to grab a copy! Tweet

Why Men Should Never...

Before I actually finish the sentence of my posting title, let me just set the mood.

Women think of weddings as grand events filled with a lovely dress, lots of people, little gifts, flowers, food, laughter, blah, blah, blah, etc. etc. etc.

We know that men do not need these things to have a good wedding.

Keeping those things in mind, let's finish this up.

Why men should never...

Order a wedding cake.

Need I really say more? Tweet

Hollywood Cemetery, Richmond, VA - part 2 of 2

A few more pictures of my little trip to Hollywood Cemetery as a continuation from yesterday's post.

There is a large granite pyramid which was erected in 1869 as a memorial for more than 18,000 Confederate dead buried in the cemetery.

Jefferson Davis was an American politician who served as President of the Confederate States of America for its entire history, 1861 to 1865, during the American Civil War.






So many graves.



May they all rest in peace...

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Hollywood Cemetery, Richmond, VA - part 1 of 2

I love going to cemeteries. No, I'm not morbid, but I find them peaceful and relaxing. I like to contemplate life, people and the mysteries of the universe while I'm visiting. Yeah, rather heavy stuff. Those moments clear my head, center my thoughts, and enable me to go forward with a more specific and balanced plan.

I took a little trip to Hollywood Cemetery located in downtown Richmond, Virginia.

It is rather large and has quite a few historically famous people buried there among thousands and thousands of "ordinary" people like me. Hmmmm...I think that is the first time I've every considered myself ordinary. Maybe I should go look in the mirror again. LOL


I followed the blue line on the map first because it led to the famous grave markers and then I inspected the rest of the cemetery. It is a huge place!


James Monroe was the fifth President of the United States (1817–1825). He was a tough opponent in both the presidential elections of 1816 and 1820 because he was well prepared with an attention to detail and non-partisan in spirit. Most of the appointments to offices during his service went to deserving Democratic-Republicans. He did not try to further his party which was evident by the diversity of his political appointments. This reduced anxiety which prompted historians to call this time in American history the "Era of Good Feelings".




The wife of James Monroe is buried in the ground slightly to the side and back of his grave site. I kept telling Alyssa, "We have to find his wife!" I like it when couples are buried together even if one was the President of the United States. Love is love and they should be together.


His daughter is also buried to the side and back.


John Tyler, Jr. was the tenth President of the United States (1841–1845). Tyler was and is also considered to have set a precedent for future presidencies. While he was Vice President, the President (Harrison) died. Tyler stepped into the office of President and claimed all rights of the presidency without relinquishing any of his powers.






The weather was so beautiful and cooperative. The sky was blue, the sun was shining brightly and there was a slight breeze that caressed my face. It was a great day to visit especially since it was very quiet.

I have a few more photos of my trip that day which I will post tomorrow. I've included some "not so historical" pictures too.

Part Two continued

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Creamy Watermelon Pie?

I made dessert from a new recipe called Creamy Watermelon Pie which I adapted from a blog called Screwed Up Texan Recipes.

I wanted it to be lighter, so I adapted some of the ingredients.

The recipe goes something like this...

2 c. diced watermelon
1 c. sugar
1 pkg. cream cheese
2 c. Cool Whip whipped topping
3 drops red food coloring
1 prepared graham cracker crust

Whip sugar, cream cheese, Cool Whip and red food coloring together until totally smooth and fluffy.

Fold in diced watermelon by hand.

Spoon mixture into prepared graham cracker crust.

Chill for one hour minimum to firm the pie.

My family was skeptical, but they loved it! The pie was cool, refreshing and VERY light!

Give it a try and approach it with an open mind.

You may be surprised and love it too! Tweet

Cups, Saucers And...

Memories.

Strange things.

They resurrect themselves unexpectedly.

Other times, we bring them to the forefront of our minds to relive an experience that brought happiness into our lives.

I've always liked cups and saucers. The design is irrelevant. Unfortunately, I also have a klutz gene that refuses to reform and ensures that everything "breakable" gets broken. I still try not to touch anything when I go into the glassware's section of any store. They write those "Do Not Touch" notices for me. I don't know how it happens, but if you want it broken just invite me over.


I think lots of cups, all with different designs, are a "happier" presentation than everything matching. Most of my cups are now one offs, but were not purchased with the intent of being alone. Actually, they were all a part of a set of eight or twelve. I guess you could say they are the last cups standing...for now.


I often look at the china and glassware on the internet. The designs lift my mood. They bring memories of hot cups of cocoa with little marshmallows on cold winter nights. Chocolate and I go back a long way. So I can recall many cups filled with hot cocoa and happy moments...sitting in the bed with my niece, Brittany, watching the snow fall outside while drinking a cup of hot cocoa with marshmallows that I had to keep adding until all her chocolate was gone...all alone, away at college, being homesick, watching the snow fall outside and drinking a cup of hot cocoa in a big blue mug...cold wind blowing outside while Alyssa and Brittany, so tiny, with excited smiles, sitting on the kitchen counter top, watching as I stirred the "real" hot chocolate recipe in the pan, holding their little cups filled with marshmallows - to the brim...


Standing at the stove with an older Alyssa watching as she stirred her recipe for hot chocolate as I waited with a cup my mother gave me...The memories are all there and triggered by the site of a simple patterned cup. I have a cabinet full of cups that I use all the time. I no longer "save" any for special occasions because every day and every moment is special. Some of the cups get broken, but the memories never fade.


Today I reached in the cabinet to get a glass and I saw the big yellow mug with a smile on the front. It made me smile. I never use that cup because it is too big, but it is so happy - big, bright yellow and a huge curved smile. Every time I open the cabinet, it is there to greet me.

I surround myself with the things of the past that bring me happiness. "Expensive" things are expensive, but "sentimental" things hold the real value...to me.

Cups are one of those sentimental, happy things.

Even more than cups is the treasure I find in my flatware drawer.

Interspersed with the all the knives and forks and spoons there are treasures.

Memory treasures.

Everyone who ever goes into the drawer tries to give me the same advice...

"Why don't you put these things away. No one uses them any more."

I have to tell them that I have noted their advice and

Thanks, but no thanks.

I use them.

Not literally, but I use them, in a matter of speaking, to decorate my flatware drawer.

They bring me happiness every time I reach into the drawer.

They bring me memories...

Priceless memories...

Days filled with

diapers,

bibs,

kissing the boo-boo,

giggling,

naps,

breastfeeding,

frilly dresses,

fingerprints on the windows,

soft blankets,

coloring books,

black patent leather shoes,

cute little hair bows,

cuddling on the couch,

toys,

making sure the shoes are tied,

bedtime stories,

powder,

little bites,

picked up and eaten with tiny fingers,

and

little flatware with pictures and her name.


Memories that I cherish and treasure

brought to my mind by

cups, saucers and

flatware. Tweet

(CT) Carefree Timelessness

Many years ago I heard of a concept and it just stuck in my brain as one of the brightest ideas I had ever heard. Since that day, I have practiced what is called Carefree Timelessness.

Growing up, Saturday was "Cleaning Day" and I always dreaded it especially since back then my mother could have won the award for "OCD Cleaning Hell"" - sorry Mom, but I'm so glad you are not like that any more! There really wasn't any "sleeping in" and she would wake us up early so that we could get all the cleaning done. We did ALL THE CHORES on Saturday including washing the knick knacks (she has a million), cleaning all the crystals on the chandeliers, scrubbing the baseboards, etc. You get the picture. I like a clean home, but that isn't my idea of happy family time on Saturday. It isn't hers any more either. Yahoo! LOL

Carefree Timelessness is time that is not scheduled to the minute, no agenda and not work or chore related. It is time that is carefree, spontaneous, relaxing and fun. In order to have Saturday characterized as Carefree Timelessness, it is necessary to prepare during the week. My plan is to do all the chores DURING the week so that Saturday is totally free. For instance, the best time to clean the bathroom is before you take your shower. You're already "unclean" so to drop down on your knees and scrub the floor, tub and toilet isn't a big sacrifice and the sink is a piece of cake if you don't have stuff sitting all around it.

That statement leads me to a side note about this process. It is necessary to become and remain organized. The bathroom should have all bottles, brushes, etc. put in cabinets or baskets. When it is time to clean around the sink, there won't be anything there - no huge stash of bottles and makeup. It is not only more pleasant on the eye, it allows you to QUICKLY clean the sink. I used to be the General Manager of a hotel and the bathroom was always top on my list for ensuring cleanliness. So if you need a little help with the cleaning order, it could go something like this:

• remove all towels (dirty clothes should already be in the laundry room)


• spray cleaner all over the sink area and mirrors


• put cleaner in the toilet and spray the outside of the toilet


• clean the mirrors


• clean the sink


• scrub the toilet


• wipe the floor, baseboards, bathroom door and door facings


• get in the shower "to take your bath", use the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser and scrub the walls - doing this every shower will ensure the walls sparkle all the time


• after shower, take all towels to the laundry

Bathroom is done!

It is just a matter of being organized and consistent. Each chore should have a set day. Gear your mind up that you will not be overwhelmed because you don't have to do everything at one time. Remember cultivate good organizational habits for yourself and your family:

• put things back where you find them immediately after use


• if you drop or drip something, pick or wipe it up immediately


• rid yourself of the clutter - it is depressing


• remain consistent with yourself and the family - everyone should help with keeping the home clean because they live there and you are not the maid - besides, don't they also make a mess?


• don't throw anything in the floor

What chores are daily?

• shower walls


• trash


• wash dishes after each meal, clean all the counters, mop/clean the floor


• wash, dry, fold and put away laundry


• wipe or clean any obvious places that have been "missed"


• make your bed


• straighten every room - fix pillows, adjust draperies, straighten throw rugs

Your chore week might look something like this:

• Monday: clean all the windows (monthly chore: clean the baseboards)


• Tuesday: iron


• Wednesday: dust the furniture (monthly chore: dust the door frames)


• Thursday: vacuum (monthly chore: shampoo the carpet)


• Friday: wash and clean knick knacks


• Saturday: CAREFREE TIMELESSNESS


• Sunday: rest

You will notice that I also threw in the "monthly chore," but try not to do all the monthly chores in the same week!

If you break it down with a few chores per day, it will leave you a "choreless" weekend that you can fill with Carefree Timelessness. Time that you can totally devote to teaching, loving, motivating, and enjoying time with self and family.

I know it has made a huge difference in my "mothering" and I believe it has helped me to become a better person by giving me the relaxation and rest that I need after working so hard each week.

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Don't Cut Your Hair!

I have been tagged by Super Mommy To The Rescue. Isn't that just a cute blog name?!!!

I will join the fun and tag 6 more people…

Your Mission, should you choose to accept it:

1) Go to your photo files…Select the 6th photo folder
2) Select the 6th photo in that folder
3) Post that photo along with the story behind it.
4) Then challenge 6 blog friends to do the same!

I have to say that I was a little bit in a panic as to what the sixth picture was going to be because I save ALL the pictures that get taken and sometimes, the person in the picture looks...well...not so good...LOL. I guess it is an inherited thing because my daughter has taken a picture of her best friend coming out of a portable potty. Poor Ashley! Very funny, but not really what I wanted my post picture to be!

I got lucky because in my files of my photo section here is my 6th picture:

My hair is below mid back when dried and has soft natural curls. Every four weeks I get it trimmed because the top of my head seems to be a Chia Pet and it doesn't know not to grow so fast.

My beauty parlor experience is a "Get Away" because I drive an hour to get there, but he is my friend and has been cutting my hair for ten years. It is a nice break from the monotony of "the same city" again, if you know what I mean.

Anyway, I try to make it a family adventure because after I get my hair cut, we can eat out, drive in the country, go to the beach, or just do something that we don't do every day. I actually look forward to that time with them. I will try to post about my concept (abbreviated CT) for family days tomorrow.

On this particular day, my daughter and husband wanted to sleep in late and skip the trip which means I went alone. After I got there and was waiting my turn, I picked up a magazine that was featuring short hair styles. You've seen them before and some of those hair cuts are, well, very undesirable to me. They are cut long on one side and short on the other with varying shades of blue, green, yellow and purple. That just isn't me. I found this one photo that I thought would be "believable" and sent a text to them both with the photo saying:

"You know I'm sick of my long hair sometimes, so while I am having the urge, I'm going to have it cut like this today."

I caused quite a commotion because they both like my hair long. I've had it longer since I was eighteen, so the "short hair" pics from the past are not as becoming on me as my long hair. I actually like my hair long, but I wanted them to suffer a little for not coming with me!

They started texting back and I just led them to believe it was cut short in the pictured style until I got back home. I thought it was hilarious. They didn't. The next hair cut they both went with me and we went to the beach afterwards.

Scare tactics work sometimes.

Now that you've heard my funny story, it is now time for me to pick other people to continue the tagging. Have fun!

I am challenging you 6 to tag on:

Ziggy's Blog
Write Moms
Thoughts on Everything and Nothing
Tempachure
Sweet Serendipity
Shabby Chicks

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Similarities and Differences

Today while driving in a part of the city I do not frequent often, a traffic light turned red and as I stopped I noticed a porch. It caught my attention because it looked like my style of porch...very much my style. I wondered who lived there and if we were similar thus providing a reason that we had the same taste in porch decorations.

Every day while driving, I pass hundreds of people and I don't know any of them and they also don't know any one in the other cars including me. We all have our separate lives filled with people and experiences. Most of the people we pass on the highway or we pass in their homes, we will never know or meet although we live so close to each other.

Isn't it mind boggling that our lives are so complex and yet we are just one person in a huge population of other people who also have complex lives?

"Much of the vitality in a friendship lies in the honoring of differences, not simply in the enjoyment of similarities.”

~Unknown~

"It is during adversity when one can really make a big difference. But making a difference is not about being a big hero. It is simply about leaving the bathroom a little cleaner going out, than when you came in."

~Unknown~

"Perhaps the greatest charity comes when we are kind to each other, when we don't judge or categorize someone else, when we simply give each other the benefit of the doubt or remain quiet. Charity is accepting someone's differences, weaknesses, and shortcomings; having patience with someone who has let us down; or resisting the impulse to become offended when someone doesn't handle something the way we might have hoped. Charity is refusing to take advantage of another's weakness and being willing to forgive someone who has hurt us. Charity is expecting the best of each other."

~Marvin J. Ashton~

“In the end we are all separate: our stories, no matter how similar, come to a fork and diverge. We are drawn to each other because of our similarities, but it is our differences we must learn to respect.”

~Unknown~

"We all know, from what we experience with and within ourselves, that our conscious acts spring from our desires and our fears. Intuition tells us that is true also of our fellows and of the higher animals. We all try to escape pain and death, while we seek what is pleasant. We are all ruled in what we do by impulses; and these impulses are so organized that our actions in general serve for our self preservation and that of the race. Hunger, love, pain, fear are some of those inner forces which rule the individual's instinct for self preservation. At the same time, as social beings, we are moved in the relations with our fellow beings by such feelings as sympathy, pride, hate, need for power, pity, and so on. All these primary impulses, not easily described in words, are the springs of man's actions. All such action would cease if those powerful elemental forces were to cease stirring within us.”

~Albert Einstein~

I won't probably ever meet the person that owns the porch, but I already appreciate a similarity that we share. I wonder how well we would get along and if I would be able to tolerate their differences and be friends? How much effort do we make to tolerate people that we do not know now in grocery store lines, traffic, getting off an airplane, waiting in the doctor's office, co-workers, restaurants and other countries?

Imagine how great the world would be to live in if we all respected and tolerated each other's differences while practicing charity. Tweet