I Shouldn’t Be Nosy

by Sherry Riter in Lessons of Life

peek through the fence

How I learned to mind my own business…

I was walking past the mental hospital the other day,
and all the patients were shouting, ’13….13….13.’

The fence was too high to see over,
but I saw a little gap in the planks,
so I looked through to see what was going on…..

Somebody poked me in the eye with a stick!

Then they all started shouting ’14….14….14′...

That isn’t really true, but it does give the perfect example that snooping or being nosy usually does not end well especially if I look back on my own life experiences. Nosy, which can also be spelled nosey, means given to prying into the affairs of others. There is only be one word that pops into my head…DRAMA.

I do not like drama whether it is mama drama, baby drama, daddy drama, neighbor drama, husband drama, employment drama, bill drama…you get the point. I think that most men feel that way which is why men don’t really gossip. Whereas women, as a whole, can not get enough gossip.

“Did you see her tacky dress?”
“She said that he said that she said…”
“She slept her way into that job.”
“Oh girl, her house is a train wreck.”

Do men say that stuff? I have to tell you that I don’t hear those kind of things from men. If you listen to men, this is what you hear:

“Yeah, it was definitely the exhaust fan, but it is fixed now.”
“I sat all day in the tree stand and didn’t see even one deer.”
“I’m going to see the Cowboys play this weekend.”
“Mmmmm, she’s hot.”

Drastic difference between the species.

So here is the confession. At one point of my life I was obsessed with a man. Maybe you haven’t ever experienced obsession, but it isn’t a happy world to live in nor does it inspire good relationship boundaries. To make a very long story short, it is sufficient to say that I knew he was going out with other women behind my back while we were engaged. That is a deal breaker to me. Of course, he denied it. At this point, I had two choices: stay with someone I didn’t trust or marry someone I didn’t trust and accept it. I didn’t choose either because obviously there was a third choice.

I put a spy program on his computer and hacked into his phone messages. Before you judge me, I should tell you that an obsessed individual has major problems with boundaries and being hurt. That isn’t an excuse, just fact.

Needless to say, I had proof that he was dating other women, but I also heard him talk about me.

“No we are not in a serious relationship.”
“The engagement ring is just to keep her from dating other men.”
“(blank) at the party is the hottest woman I’ve ever seen.”
“I have no intention of marrying her.”
“She won’t ever find out.”

I was devastated. My belief that he could not be trusted was well founded. In this case I could say that it is a good thing that I was nosy and spied on him because I did not marry a man that I not only couldn’t trust, but didn’t deserve my trust.

One day while walking past the office of a co-worker whose back was facing the door, I heard my name. So I stopped on the other side of the doorway and tried to look busy. Sometimes I am so stupid. This person was saying the most horrible things about me. Nothing fact based, just her basic feelings about every aspect of my looks, my daughter, my work relationships and my life in general. I guess I stood there five minutes before I whipped myself into shape and walked away with a head full of negativity.

Lesson learned.

Do not listen to gossip or eavesdrop on other people’s conversations.

As an FYI to the above woman in her office, if you read my blog and looked at my profile picture you would know that my hair REALLY is red. Also, maybe if you did something with your hair (including washing it) you wouldn’t have to slander mine.

Oh, one other thing. I do and have always put my makeup on every morning before I leave the house no matter what day of the week. If you would do the same thing, maybe we could all look at you without cringing.

Oh my! Being nosy really does bring out the worst in all of us!

I’ve got to end this posting because I need to go repent.

You Scream, I Scream, We All Scream For Ice Cream
Make It Pink
Bill Dan, Rock Artist
Formatting Text
Recipe: Banana Bread
Honesty In Business
#1 Laws of Advertising

This post was written by...

Sherry Riter is also known as The Redhead Riter. Sherry is witty, intelligent and addictive as she writes about cooking, family, marriage, failures, blogging tips, art, humor, inspiration, travel, PTSD and aging. Her goal is to inspire, motivate, educate and to make her audience laugh. Sherry embraces being a redhead and helps others to see the redhead point of view…"In some eras redheads were worshipped while others thought us witches. Personally, I like the former and think every day is 'Love a redhead day!'" She can also be found on Facebook, Google+, Pinterest, StumbleUpon, Linkedin, tweeting as @TheRedheadRiter and you can subscribe to her free blog feed.

{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Anonymous November 22, 2009 at 6:24 am

Hi Beautiful, the only time women talk about you is out of the green eyed monster!!! They are just pea green with envy. You are so smart, so beautiful, but most of all you are so beautiful inside. An Angel to many,like your mom. As for that man, he really lost, you are a winner. Mom would of just ripped her face off for slandering me at work.lol. You just keep up the good work we girls love reading your blog.



2 live a colorful life November 22, 2009 at 6:41 am

As a fellow redhead, can I just say, "We rock!" I think non-redheads are just jealous.


3 KK November 22, 2009 at 6:47 am

LOL, sometimes you have to let it out 🙂 I ended up needing to spy on my now ex husband. I have records of the horrible things he said about me to the woman he had an affair with and it nearly killed me…but it made it very easy to walk in and tell the judge I most certainly want a divorce!


4 The Redhead Riter November 22, 2009 at 7:07 am

I have to laugh at you Mom. You would "rip her face off?" You are just all talk because I know you better than that…LOL.

Thanks for the compliments Mom and yes, I believe Redheads Rock! Did you see the little glittery thing I have in the footer at the bottom right side? It says, "Redheads Rock" but everyone should already know that is true! LOL LOL


5 Bombshell BLISS November 22, 2009 at 8:09 am

Oh my goodness! I can most certainly relate to the point it made me laugh because I saw myself in it. Redheads rock. Don't you forget it!


6 Pineapple Princess November 22, 2009 at 8:42 am

Well written!
I so enjoyed reading it!


7 Pineapple Princess November 22, 2009 at 8:43 am

Did my comment disappear?


8 Kerri November 22, 2009 at 12:14 pm

TERRIFIC post…Stopping by from SITS…
It is SO tre about men and women. When I worked full time in the transportation industry, I worked with mostly men. SO much easier to work with. The worst was the foul language. For a SHORT time I left to work at a different place, and it was mostly women. They were so CATTY and gossippy! (If that's a word!) EVERY time one of them went to the bathroom, everyone else started ripping into them. Didn't matter who went. You think they'd learn that when THEY went, THEY were talked about too!

Thankfully, I got my old job back in a matter of weeks!


9 Shell November 22, 2009 at 1:16 pm

I have a tendency to be nosey that I constantly try to curb. Because I've heard things that I wish I could forget.


10 mania November 22, 2009 at 2:25 pm

A very brave post!
As its a hard thing to confess openly and in public so in my opinion you have totally done justice to this post. Weldone.

I think, the worst thing a person can be used to of is backbiting. It exposes the rude,mean and arrogant side of a person(backbiter).

In last, I want to thank you for visiting my blog and I just realized it,you are the very first person from the blog frog site who visited my blog. I recently joined it but didn't get any response from there.


11 Michele November 22, 2009 at 2:43 pm

Sometimes being "nosy" isn't being "nosy." It's self-preservation.

You had a feeling about this guy you "snooped" on, and your investigating confirmed it. Sure, it brought pain…but better to have that pain than what you would have ended up with had you gone ahead and married the dufus.

I think there is a difference between being "nosy" and looking out for yourself. You didn't cross a line…you took care of yourself.

If someone is behaving in a way that makes you distrust him/her, then it is in your own best interest to look into the matter. If that person wasn't behaving in such a manner, we wouldn't have to "snoop." No, I'm not being defensive/self-justifying, but being practical. Sticking your head in the sand because you don't want to be "nosy" is just dumb.

Just my two cents.


12 Jackiedlc November 22, 2009 at 4:18 pm

your one funny lady! I ould definetly been number 15..lol.. I HATE GOSSIP sometimes us women can be sooo EVIL..


13 Under the Influence November 22, 2009 at 5:20 pm

I LOVE red hair. In fact I color mine to BE red!

That beyotch is lucky I didn't overhear her talking about me (or you!) because I would have stood in the doorway and waited for her to turn around and see me. I would have gone all Bree Van De Kamp (Desperate Housewives) and gone with the "very classy verbal assault". It would have been polite but scathing at the same time!


14 Amy November 22, 2009 at 6:41 pm

I am not sure I would have been able to walk away..


15 Teresha@Marlie and Me November 23, 2009 at 2:37 am

I am so sorry you had to hear that nonsense! I never understood why (some) women feel the need to tear each other a part. 🙁


16 Erin November 23, 2009 at 3:53 pm

I think we all need to be nicer to one another. In fact, I put my foot in my mouth over the weekend (not thru gossip, but by telling a fellow mommy I thought rice cereal for her 18 month old was silly). I apologized profusely and feel like a complete chump.

I am not a know-it-all and will be the first to admit it. So why did I act like one and try to tell her that her way was wrong/stupid? I suck.


Leave a Comment

"How rare and wonderful is that flash of a moment
when we realize we have discovered a friend."

~William E. Rothschild~

Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts.
I respond back to all comments.


Previous post:

Next post: