Men Do Not Read This…

by Sherry Riter in Women Stuff

No really, men do not read this personal and private “womanly” little posting.

I think they all left.

There’s one! Shoo! Go play with your power tools!

I think all the men are gone now.

What I was about to say is that I have an absolutely terrible relationship. THE Razor and I do not get along very well. Actually I loathe shaving. I can handle the armpits fine, I think, but the legs are another story.

When I shave, I would prefer to use a woman’s shaving cream with a light, fresh scent. However, the shaving cream made for women does not include some secret-keep-away-all-the-razor-rash-bumps like men’s shaving cream. That means I have to either smell like a man or have razor rash. I hate razor rash! Everyone tells me it isn’t the razor or the cream, it is my PALE, SENSITIVE SKIN. Hello! I’m a redhead. Don’t you know I have TAN-ENVY in the very worst way? Do not mention my glow-in-the-dark color or put your arm next to mine so that I can see the VAST DIFFERENCE between my translucent, whiteness that looks like a moon glowing and your golden, bronzed, brown, evenly tanned skin.

I also do not shave my legs…correctly. I shave like I am scrubbing a frying pan…back and forth, up and down. What can I say? I am trying to get done fast! It has really gotten me into trouble a couple of times. I remember one time I sliced all the way across the top part of my leg, oh, about ten inches. I was so hopping mad! It got infected and that was rather painful too. It did not, however, teach me to be more careful while shaving. I shave like a woman crazed.

I have literally tried all types of razors and blades, but they all do the same thing…little bumps…of course, not every time, just when I REALLY, REALLY don’t want them. I have found that I prefer the triple blades the best because EVEN I can tell that it is a closer shave. Besides, when you get cut with a triple blade, YOU REALLY DO SOME DAMAGE! Give me those battle scars! I want to have something to show for all this effort I put into having silky, smooth legs!

I would have electrolysis, but I am not into pain either. I’m soooooooo not into pain!

So here I am, stuck in a relationship that I can’t live without because as we all know, American woman must shave their legs. Have I ever mentioned that I think men have a double standard? Have you seen THEIR LEGS? Now that’s some hair growth!

This post was written by...

Sherry Riter is also known as The Redhead Riter. Sherry is witty, intelligent and addictive as she writes about cooking, family, marriage, failures, blogging tips, art, humor, inspiration, travel, PTSD and aging. Her goal is to inspire, motivate, educate and to make her audience laugh. Sherry embraces being a redhead and helps others to see the redhead point of view…"In some eras redheads were worshipped while others thought us witches. Personally, I like the former and think every day is 'Love a redhead day!'" She can also be found on Facebook, Google+, Pinterest, StumbleUpon, Linkedin, tweeting as @TheRedheadRiter and you can subscribe to her free blog feed.

{ 48 comments… read them below or add one }

1 icefairy July 18, 2009 at 5:21 am

Hi, thanks for stopping by and showing me your love! I don't shave, so you won't be alone.
Have a great weekend!


2 Lee July 18, 2009 at 5:26 am

You had me at Men Do Not Read This! How true and how funny! I can also handle the armpits. Take a shower, you gotta wash there anyway, easy to take the razor and a couple of swipes, done! Now, the legs…yikes. I have to say I am not good about that. I generally wait until I can see the hair on my legs waving in the breeze when the wind blows to shave!!You crack me up!!


3 Angie Marion July 18, 2009 at 5:43 am

HAHA! You're funny! I shave when I feel like it… when I have time. so forget HIM if he don't like it!


4 Kimberly July 18, 2009 at 5:44 am

AMEN, all of it is uncomfortable and irritating! And SO expensive!


5 Night Owl Mama July 18, 2009 at 6:29 am

thanks 4 the comment love

i hate shaving too. as a matter of fact I"m the one who doesn't shave all winter LOL


6 Collette@Jesuslovesmums July 18, 2009 at 6:34 am

Shaving is a total nuisance. Armpits – easy! Legs are a pain though. Wish I was brave enough for waxing but just won't put myself through it!
Great post.
Collette xxx ( a fellow redhead)!


7 Orange Juice July 18, 2009 at 6:47 am

I HATE shaving to..I do it maybe once a month LOL Oh well


8 JennyMac July 18, 2009 at 10:26 am

TOO funny! I used the women's shaving cream from Art of Shaving and LOVE it.

Stopping by from SITS!


9 y u l z July 18, 2009 at 10:35 am

Oh well . . I'm also doing no good with the legs *erks* if only I have the magic spell so I won't have to shave 'em again haha

btw, thanks for stopping by to my blog 🙂



10 Yaya July 18, 2009 at 10:50 am

You shave up and down?


11 Jane In The Jungle July 18, 2009 at 11:28 am

Literally, my legs are now tingley thinking of a 10 in infected GASH!!!!
Whew….. and I need to shave today!

You truly have one of the best ritten blogs I've come across and I am honored to be on you heart list, obviously I don't remember how to make the little heart, and you are my final stop before the big "un-plug" sigh…..

See ya next week!


12 Jen@born2impress July 18, 2009 at 11:37 am

I used to wax my legs when i lived in Spain, here is way to expensive!
So i went back to shaving. I use my husband shaving gel:)
I am not as light skin as you are but have very sensitive skin.
Thanks for stopping by i really like your blog!


13 Kathryn July 18, 2009 at 11:58 am

*thanks for visiting my blog!!

As far as shaving, have you tried conditioner instead of shaving cream? Someone suggested it on another blog and I've been doing that ever since, and for the first time in my life NO RAZOR BURN!!!


14 Queenie Jeannie July 18, 2009 at 12:52 pm

I shave with body sugars! I rub in circular motions to dissolve most of it, then shave. SUPER SMOOTH shave, no rash. And it lasts longer too.


15 Holly K July 18, 2009 at 1:23 pm


Thanks for commenting on my blog. I'm so glad to be introduced to your blog – you are quite funny and I plan to come back often!

Holly at TheBlogFrog


16 Ginger July 18, 2009 at 1:38 pm

Ick. Shaving. The sad thing is, I can't stand not shaving, or I would totally be one of those natural, hippie women.

I haven't heard of using conditioner on the legs – a must try. Thanks for the tip!


17 Scrappy Girl July 18, 2009 at 1:43 pm

Right now I have Flirty Mango shave gel…it smells so good…BUT it does not do as well as Dr. Hubby's. I also use a man's razor…they seem to work better too.


18 Lemonade Makin' Mama July 18, 2009 at 3:32 pm

Oh I so feel your pain. My "natural hair color" is something between brown and auburn, and I have pale skin, blue eyes, and freckles galore. (which I adore) But Tan envy? Talk to me… never had one a day in my life!! Never. This summer's bronzer of choice with lack of orange tint, is a toss-up between Victoria's Secret Bare bronze, and Lorea Sublime Bronze. (slightly more affordable- and it sparkles)

I have begun to use Parissa wax strips for various places of unwanted hair… they are easier to use than I once thought if you can choke back the sobs while you do this to yourself… Just an idea.

Thanks for the sweet comment yesterday about my blog!! Happy to have your around. 🙂



19 Misses Wife July 18, 2009 at 3:49 pm

Thanks for stopping by my page today and for your sweet comments. I love your blog, you may consider yourself "followed."

As for the shaving, I feel your pain. One recommendation I can make is for you to try Nair. You smooth it on your legs, let it sit, and wash it off. No blades!! It doesn't work for everyone, but it's worth a shot.

Have a great weekend!


20 Nancy July 18, 2009 at 3:56 pm

I think men get off easy, anyway. I mean my husband showers, shaves, brushes his teeth and he's ready. I shower, brush my teeth, put on special face cream, lotion, dry my hair, curl it, put on makeup, and fuss over clothes, jewelry…well you get the picture!

I like your new blog look, btw.


21 Debbie in Nashville July 18, 2009 at 4:59 pm

This is so true. I hate to shave but could never live without it. My love/hate relationship with my razor lives on.

I hope you have a wonderful weekend!


22 Cathie July 18, 2009 at 5:02 pm

My legs are so white, my sister once asked me if I was wearing white nylons! I'm getting laser hair removal on my legs. It does hurt a little, but it's totally worth it.


23 Gigi July 18, 2009 at 5:32 pm

I promise never to do either of those things. I will keep my arms to myself and not compare our skin colors. Mainly because I suffer from melanin envy, too, though I do possess a tan in the summer….ANYWAY.

Happy Saterday Sharefest, SITSta!

And, please please please consider shaving your legs more carefully. That 10 inch gash makes my own legs hurt just reading about it! 😉


24 Mighty M July 18, 2009 at 5:42 pm

Haha – Sometimes I am glad when fall/winter comes and I can shave less – sounds like we use the same methods!!


25 A Psych Mommy July 18, 2009 at 5:52 pm

Ooh, I cringed when I read about you slicing off a chunk with your razor–eegad, I hate shaving my legs too!


26 Sinclair July 18, 2009 at 6:04 pm

I feel your pain. I am in the same bad relationship, but I do not court the razor on a regular basis. I mostly forgo shaving all winter, and in the summer, I only shave about once a week. I say, let it grow…
Thanks for the comment and visit to my humble blog.


27 MommyAmy July 18, 2009 at 6:21 pm

LOL! I totally agree. I recently got a sample of Bic Soleil razors and I really love them! You might wanna give them a try. They have FOUR blades! And so far I haven't had that little moisture strip fall off (as so often happens to me for some reason with other brands).


28 Unknown Mami July 18, 2009 at 6:31 pm

Picturing a big bloody gash on your leg just made me cringe.

I hate shaving too, but I can't even consider waxing because it seems so painful and and I have the kind of skin that would get hyperpigmentation with electolosis.

I wish I could do a liberated hippie thing and just be hairy, but it's just not my aesthetic.


29 Mira is triplet crown July 18, 2009 at 7:01 pm

My husband is lucky if I shave once a week. I just so dont care. But then I also live in a climate where shorts are not really wearable, ever. Never warm enough. So I suppose if I had to put on shorts…but then I'd hate my white pasty legs and hide them anyway so, perhaps I'll just be content with my hairy jeans covered legs…


30 Farmgirl Paints July 18, 2009 at 7:10 pm

I hear that when you get older you don't have to shave at all. Hair stops growing or something…well that's something to look forward to.

Thanks for your comments on my blog:)


31 Maricris Zen Mama July 18, 2009 at 7:24 pm

I agree with you about shaving. I did see a lady at the airport with unshaven leg and it scared me 🙂 Have you tried using your favorite conditioner instead of a shaving cream? It's what I use when I need to shave some and it has worked for me. The only downside is it gets a little too slippery to handle but it works.


32 Shauna July 18, 2009 at 8:30 pm

Stopping in from SITS to say hello. You're post made me laugh. Btw, I always wished I had been a redhead with fair skin. I think it's a beautiful combo!


33 It's All Good July 18, 2009 at 9:20 pm

intution razors. amazing, love them! but I ve been into sugaring lately! its basically a sticky goop made of sugar, water, and lemon, and you spread it across your legs and yank them buggers out! yeah, it hurts, but having silky smooth legs for a month is fabulous! =)

thanks for stopping by my blog, your daughter has good fashion sense!


34 Tammy Howard July 18, 2009 at 9:41 pm

I am so happy to see so many other non or lax shavers among your commenters. Add me to their ranks.


35 planetnomad July 18, 2009 at 10:12 pm

OH I can so relate to this! I hate shaving. I'm blond, and I take advantage of this and put off shaving till my legs are really really hairy. The pain! However, I have discovered ways to minimize it that work for me. Hopefully you'll do the same. Or go hairy! Just do it!

Thanks for the visit earlier too…


36 Cindi @ Moomette's Magnificents July 18, 2009 at 10:20 pm

Hi & visiting from SITS Sharefest!
Thanks for visiting my blog!

Thankfully, I'm fair skinned but have been known when younter to "tweeze" my knees!


37 scrappysue July 19, 2009 at 12:43 am

i'm so glad it's winter and i don't have to shave my legs as often – except when i wear sheer pantyhose!!! thanks for stopping by!


38 Becky July 19, 2009 at 1:13 am

Oh. My. Word.

You had me cringing when you were describing the up and down method you do! Girl!!! You are really gonna cut yourself thataway! {again!}

Sorry, I have no advice. I suck at shaving my legs. I am blonde, and lazy, so lucky it I do it every couple weeks, lol!

Thanks for stopping by on my special day yesterday!!! That was so awesome!


39 Melissa B. July 19, 2009 at 1:28 am

I have to say I'm ambivalent about my razor. I do make sure to shave in the summer, but sometimes let it all hang out once blue jeans and sweater weather is back!


40 Sober Mommy July 19, 2009 at 1:51 am

This is too funny – stopping by from SITS!

Honey, I so understand your pain! Only, for me, it's the underarms. I *just* and I mean *just* got rid of the 6 layers of scabs under my arms from apparently using a super sharp razor – darn it hurt! Needless to say I'm not going gangbusters over the idea of shaving, anything anytime soon.

Why is it that they sell that special shaving cream to men – I mean really – we rule the world!

Nice to meet you!


41 The Grounded Drink Lady July 19, 2009 at 3:18 am

LOL…I'll be reading your blog! Too funny! I once knew a girl that shaved everything…even her arms. WHO has the time?


42 Two Pretty Little Skirts July 19, 2009 at 3:35 am

Hello Ms Riter lady O,
I despise shaving with a capital D.
cant wax, I'm a wimp. Cant nair, I have super sensative skin. So I'm stuck with shaving. I have zero hair on my arms but my legs make up for it. yikes!


43 a corgi July 19, 2009 at 3:50 am

thanks for stopping by our blog; I have a confession, when we lived in Montana, I would go through the whole winter without shaving my legs; thankfully hubby didn't mind

you have a very cute blog; I enjoyed the white entry; I happen to like lots of white for some reason; brighter perhaps??

enjoy the day



44 julochka July 19, 2009 at 9:39 am

my problem with shaving is that i'm more or less blind without my glasses, so seeing to shave in the shower if i don't have contacts on is quite a problem. and often becomes a bloody affair.


45 Jennifer Juniper July 19, 2009 at 2:04 pm

I hate to shave my legs, too. Once when I was a preteen, my mom thought I was too young to shave. I snuck in to secretly shave and ended up shaving all the skin off my shin bone just like you mentioned. It was a little hard to keep the secret at that point. 🙂


46 Michaela July 20, 2009 at 4:16 am

Ughh – why do we have to shave? I have one of those 4 bladed ones with the nick-guard… yeah that doesn't work!


47 Paulette July 20, 2009 at 12:51 pm

hahaha cute post you got there! well same here with me, i HATE shaving and there was one time i shaved some skin off my legs eeeeeew! i shave after i shower so the hair is softer 😉

my armpits get dark when i shave so i just have it waxed. down thing about that is i have to wait for all the hair to grow back before getting another waxing 😀


48 Adry Viola July 26, 2009 at 7:29 pm

I hate – despise – try to avoid – shaving. Is it true that European women don't really have to shave because it's "natural"? That men there find it sexy? If so…I'm on the first plane there!
Come visit me on my blog for funny stories too!
I'm following you!


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