I Think I Have The Man Gene

I’m brutally honest.

No frou frou. No beating around the bush.

When you want to know my opinion, you get the whole truth.

I would say I am too honest, but I don’t believe there is such a thing.

If asked, I will give you my opinion – my honest opinion. People learn this about me soon. My mom and daughter appreciate this aspect of my personality. Men appreciate this quality, but women…well…

“My opinion” does not equal “what you want to hear”.

So if I leave a comment on a blog that says, “Cute template” or “I love your Etsy store” or “Your child is adorable”…I am being honest.

I live the “Law of Thumper” which says “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothin’ at all.”

With that being said, I do not initiate “the unpleasant opinion” unless asked directly.

Let me give you an example…Let’s pretend that you go shopping for hours, try on close to a hundred dresses, then finally decide to buy the fuchsia one with a large belt and this frou frou thing on the bottom right edge. I see you shortly thereafter and the first words that pass your lips is “Don’t you love my dress?”

Here’s the moment.

Don’t forget, you KNOW me. You KNOW I am going to be honest and I KNOW you KNOW.

I say the same thing I always say…”Do you want me to be honest?”

THAT should be a warning. You don’t heed it.

“Yes!”

Well, you were forewarned, but I am a nice person too so my answer is “No, not really.”

“No!? Why?!”

Why do you push the issue? Do you really want my opinion? Oh heavens! I am one little person on this big planet so surely my opinion can not matter that much. Besides, YOU like the dress and isn’t that all that matters?

“Honestly, the belt is too big, the dress is too tight and that frou frou thing looks like something my grandmother wore on her hat.”

“It does not! I like this dress!”

Now you want to argue about it. I don’t like arguing. You are not going to change my mind. Besides, YOU like the dress. To keep peace, I say nothing.

“Did you hear me?” you ask.

I know how men feel. I think I have the man gene. No wonder women drive them crazy. Can you hear two men get together and argue about whether the large picture of a John Deere tractor ironed on the front of their t-shirt was “kewl” or not?

Nooooooooooooooooo! That is why I say women drive men nuts. When we push men, like my friend with her frou frou, tacky, large, indescribable thingie stuck on the bottom of her fuchsia dress did with me, they think we are idiots.

“Yes, I heard you. I do not prefer that dress over the really cute green one you wore Thursday with those to-die-for-heels.” I try to get her mind off the negative and give her a really good positive compliment. Does she take the bait?

“That green dress is one of my favs! You really don’t like this one? Should I take it back?”

Why do you ask me THAT question? I wouldn’t have left the store with it, so why would I think you should keep it?

“If you like it, then keep it. Does it make you feel happy?”

“Not any more. You think I should take it back because it is ugly. Fine then! I spent hours looking for this dress! I gotta go. See you later.”

Oh, great. You’re ticked off because I don’t like your hideous dress. I’m honest. Did you really expect less of me? I guess if I were a man and you were my wife I would be sleeping on the couch tonight.