A Boring Nightmare or A Blissful Dream

by Sherry Riter in Lessons of Life,Relationship

Is it the same boredom day after day?

There was a day when you used to think that every time he snapped and popped his gum, it was cute. When she painted her toenails with a foot propped up on the dining room table, you still found her adorable.


Same feelings?

Do those things aggravate you to the point of wanting to scream or simply not come home for a couple more hours?

Do you still feel loved and cared for or is it something that you are just supposed to know?

Are you lonely?

Every day we mingle with attractive, funny people without any of the annoying faults we see in our spouse. Is the grass greener on the other side of the fence?

Does your relationship seem dry, lacking in excitement and unfulfilling?

What you don’t see about other people is that when they go home: he leaves the toilet seat up; she throws her trash close to, but never into the trash can; he belches loudly and continuously; she is on the phone from the moment she gets home until the moment she gets in the bed; his snoring makes an earthquake seem mild; she has PMS 24/7, 365 days a year; and his closet is knee deep with “things” and he has no desire to clean it.

Does the grass still look greener?

A relationship requires BOTH people to be sincere, thoughtful, and unselfish.


How many marriages do you know of that end in divorce?

Exactly. A whole bunch of them, so apparently relationships are not easy to stay in or keep interesting.

The goal in marriage is not to think alike,
but to think together.

~Robert C. Dodds~

Marriages that succeed are not based on the big things: expensive jewelry, a fancy car, or a trip to an exotic location. It is all about the little things and an attitude of respect. This is true for all relationships – parent, friend, child, sibling.

Things you can do that will help keep your marriage alive and fresh:

  • Listen (there are plenty of reasons that this one thing is first on the list)
  • Offer assistance and don’t wait to be asked
  • Say “I love you” frequently
  • Keep a couple picture in an obvious location
  • Be your spouse’s biggest fan
  • Flirt with each other
  • Hold hands
  • Be spontaneous and unpredictable
  • Compromise
  • Have a sense of humor
  • Spend quality time together…alone
  • Write notes and letters expressing love
  • Share inside jokes and secrets
  • Compliment one another
  • Make time and set the mood for intimacy
  • Give each other space/personal time
  • Remember common courtesies
  • Be honest
  • Share activities together that will cultivate the friendship
  • Have tolerance with each other

It is easy to get stuck in a routine and set in our ways. However, it is necessary to never take each other for granted. In order to nourish the feelings of love that brought you together as companions, it requires a lifetime commitment to being unselfish and respectful of one another.

“A good marriage is that in which each
appoints the other guardian of his solitude.”

~Rainer Maria Rilke~

“Marriage, ultimately, is the practice
of becoming passionate friends.

~Harville Hendrix~

Passionate friends. I think that sums it up nicely.

This post was written by...

Sherry Riter is also known as The Redhead Riter. Sherry is witty, intelligent and addictive as she writes about cooking, family, marriage, failures, blogging tips, art, humor, inspiration, travel, PTSD and aging. Her goal is to inspire, motivate, educate and to make her audience laugh. Sherry embraces being a redhead and helps others to see the redhead point of view…"In some eras redheads were worshipped while others thought us witches. Personally, I like the former and think every day is 'Love a redhead day!'" She can also be found on Facebook, Google+, Pinterest, StumbleUpon, Linkedin, tweeting as @TheRedheadRiter and you can subscribe to her free blog feed.

{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Carol June 16, 2009 at 2:30 pm

I love this. We listen to Hollywood to often and believe that things have to be exciting all the time. What is wrong with loving comfort. My sister in law once said. You know you are in love when being in a room with your spouse just makes you feel good. They have been married over 50 years. God Bless


2 Midori ??? June 16, 2009 at 5:57 pm

Love your post very caused it totally touch my heart!…."It is all about the little things and an attitude of respect." this is my favorite line!


3 Stacie June 16, 2009 at 9:39 pm

I really liked this post. Marriage is not always easy but it takes two to work together.


4 Ashley Ladd June 17, 2009 at 12:06 am

My parents divorced. Shortly before, my dad was annoyed by every little thing my mom did.

When I first met my boss, he seemed like a nice, easy-going guy. But now that I've spent a lot more time with him, I see what a perfectionist he is. He's a great guy, but I could see how he would annoy me if he was my spouse. Actually, he reminds me of my dad. I love my dad but I couldn't be married to someone like him. Of course, I miss his good points. People are a mixture.

You're right, we have to think together and work together.


5 Ashley Ladd June 17, 2009 at 12:07 am

My aunt and uncle have been married over 50 years and they're the best of friends. They're such a beautiful couple and my role models.


6 Equidae June 20, 2009 at 2:14 pm

amen to that so true..marriage is works in progress all the time


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